My angels!

My angels!

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I scared!

Last night my daughter fell asleep a little early (compared to other nights), but I wasn't tired so I was in the other room. Twice I heard her talking and I went in to the bedroom. She was sitting up and talking, but I couldn't understand what she was saying. I laid her back down and cuddled with her until she fell asleep. The next time I went in she told me, "I scared", and then asked "Where Santa?" She told me Santa was there, but now he wasn't. I couldn't understand all of what she way saying, and was trying to keep her quiet and asleep since her baby brother was also asleep.

It was to late she was awake. So we went in to the living room. She told everyone she was scared and again began talking about Santa. There is a blow up Santa on the porch so we asked her if she wanted to see it. Definitely not. She shook her head violently no. This was odd since she normally loved seeing Santa.

Later when I tried to get her to sleep she was afraid of the shadows on the wall. They are cast by the night light. She said that it was a "Ra". Which is the sound she makes for lions, skeletons, monsters, and anything that is scary. She has never really showed any fear of these things before. Daddy showed her it was not a "Ra" it was shadows, but I don't think she believed him. She pointed at the ceiling and opposite wall a few times and said something in audible (her binkie was in her mouth). She stared for a while as if she was watching something, and then finally she went to sleep.

Around 8 am she cried in her sleep and said, "Let go Daddy" repeatedly. I tried to hold her and comfort her it made her worse. So I laid down next to her and said, "Daddy let go! It's ok. Mommy is here!" After I said that a few times she was fine and back to sleep.

All this happened at NaNa and PaPa's house. We have had similar instances at our house, but she never seemed scared before. She points to area in our bedroom all the time and says there is a baby there. Sometimes she says the baby is crying sometimes she says she wants to play with it. Most times she only says baby and points. Another area on the ceiling she has said there is a "RA" and other things that I couldn't understand. Some nights she stares at this spot like she's looking at something. (It really freaks me out). Especially, since any time I ever sat with my back to this spot I always felt like someone was behind me. Creepy!

When she was a tiny baby she would always hold our hands over her forehead and eyes with her hands. She still does this at times today. When she is staring at the wall I cover her eyes with my hand and it usually works. Allowing her to fall asleep in a few minutes.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

New Years Resolution?

I know it's almost here, and I have tons of things I need to change or could change. But I can't think of anything! I'm sure my husband could give me a list if I asked. No he wouldn't do that! He is very smart! Sometimes to smart!

I will try to do better and that is the best I can do. I'll try to be more patient and understanding.  

I want to take life slower.  I want to slow down and enjoy each day with my kids.  I know that each day is a blessing and I want to cherish every moment.  I know that soon (to soon) all this will be just a faded memory, and that is my worst nightmare.  Some day my son will no longer wrap his arms around my head and hug me so tight it almost hurts.  Some day my daughter won't yell "Ma, Ma" a million times a day.  

So my New Years Resolution is to slow down and cherish the small things.  To no longer say, "I can't wait... (for anything).  To love every moment spent with my kids!

French Fries Please MA MA!

Christmas Eve we drove past McDonald's, which we always do when we head out to my mom's house. Today though my daughter shouted, "French Fries Please, Ma Ma!" I told her no we were going to eat at grandma's house. Then I thought, "how cute she knows that McDonald's has French Fries." Then I thought "Oh, crap she knows McDonald's has French Fries!"

What a horrible mother I am raising kids on junk food. No offense to McDonald's you have greatly improved the healthiness of your food, but it still is not the high quality food I want my kids eating. However, I still feed it to them and probably will continue to do so. It's just so easy.

I have so much trouble most days just getting my daughter to eat, let alone eat healthy. I know it's my fault if she doesn't eat good. In a perfect world I'd make 3 healthy meals a day and we would all sit down together and eat. Then I'd vacuum wearing pearls and high heals, LOL! For now just do the best I can. Obviously, I should cut back on the McDonald's, but we don't have to get rid of it all together.

Monday, December 29, 2008

Definately not bed time!

My daughter just brought out a huge bag of mega blocks and dumped it on the floor. She is now sitting in the middle of the pile building guns and shooting me. No I do not encourage violence. She doesn't really know what she is doing. All she knows is that her favorite uncle Isaac (he's 7) builds something with the blocks and points it at people while making a swish and bang sort of noise. His rendition of a machine gun. So of coarse she copies. Either that or she is trying to kill me because sleep deprivation is taking to long! Just kidding.

I think it's time for bed...

I want to go to bed. It is almost 10pm and I know it is time for bed. However, my daughter (who unfortunately wears the pants) won't go to sleep. She keeps laughing and playing. So here I am on the Internet and she is playing next to me on her toy laptop. Everyone else is asleep and I wish I were to. We are supposed to get up early to go to Michigan. I don't know if that will happen. Mommy can't pack if she can't open her eyes. Why don't I pack tonight? Good question, I know my husband will wonder the same thing. I am to TIRED to pack.

I did discover what looks like a cool system to help me. It is the baby sleep coach system, and it sounds very interesting. I am tempted to buy it now, because it has a money back guarantee. It guarantees my kids will sleep! I can't even do that and I gave birth to them! I am just not sure if the program works with multiple kids. I emailed them and will post later regarding what they say. If it will I am gonna buy it. I need my kids to sleep, for mine and their sake.

The Vomit bug!

Saturday Evie attempting to take a nap when she threw up. She had complained earlier that her belly hurt and before she dosed off she told me her mouth hurt. After wards she was fine and basically her normal self. To be safe I didn't give her milk for 8 hours and slowly allowed her to have food. She was her normal self, so by dinner time I let her eat regular foods. Then later she said her belly hurt again, and then her mouth. Then the vomit hit. She threw up every where.

I had just run down to the laundry room. I forgot clothes in the dryer. I heard Evie coming down the hall. Then I heard a little cough and vomiting noises. I ran with my arms full of towels to the apartment and threw them all down on the couch. Then I went into the hallway to help her. By the time I got to her she had thrown up huge piles on each of our 3 neighbors doormats, and one large pile in the middle of the hall. She was walking towards me then back to the apartment when I passed by. I felt so bad. I didn't give her any milk until the next night. But she woke up the next day basically fine.

Christopher was the next to get the bug. The following night (Sunday night) it hit. He threw up four times in a little over an hour. He hasn't thrown up since this morning, but he now has diarrhea. My main concern is dehydration. He has had only 1 1/2 bottles today, and about 6 oz of pedialyte. Which is way less than what he usually has. He also has only been awake for around 5 hours today. When he is awake he is his normal playful self for a while, but gets tired faster than normal. He just doesn't have the energy.

I hope the bug passes as quickly as it hit. I can't stand seeing the kids suffer. Plus, I always get very scared when Christopher gets sick. After spending time in Pediatric ICU when he was 2 months old, I have become very paranoid and maybe a little over protective.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Christmas Aftermath!

Three days after Christmas and I still haven't fully recovered. The tree and all the decorations are already put away. I had to we needed the space for all the toys. This is no exaggeration our house could give toys "r" us a run for their money. We are swimming in toys. I need a new set of shelves to have a place to put all the toys. Santa visited our house and both grandparents house. Apparently nobody got the message that they didn't need toys, but really needed clothes. I guess next year we will give clothes and let everyone else buy the toys.

I have a ton of laundry to do. All most 2 weeks worth. We spent 5 days in Michigan at my in-laws, but due to the blizzard the pipes to their washer froze and we couldn't do laundry. Then we were to busy with Christmas so the pile keeps growing and growing. I don't want to even try to mess with it now it is so bad. It is going to take me forever to fold it all! What a Christmas present!

The worst part is the more I clean the more I have to clean because no one is watching the kids when mommy is busy cleaning. I don't know what daddy is doing so don't ask. I think football is on. Football is always on! So once I clean one thing I go back to clean up, pick up toys, toys, and more toys. You wouldn't even think they could play with so many toys, but some how they play with all of them in a very short period of time. Thank God everything is basically organized now! I still need a new shelving unit. I want something 3 feet high with 3 shelves and about 6 feet long. That way the toys can be within reach, but at the same time have a place where they belong! Wish me luck.

Not to move!

Despite the fact that I feel the move to a 3 bedroom apartment is necessary we have decided not to move. Mainly because the apartment is almost exactly the same as our current apartment, but costs $60 more. My husband says he is not going to pay more for the same size place. I understand especially the way the economy is today.

However, at the same time we really need 3 bedrooms. Christopher is a light sleeper, and moves around a lot. His own room would be quieter, and warmer than ours so he could sleep comfortable. If Evie had her own room we could work on getting her to sleep in her own bed. I know she will scream and fight it, and we can't even try it with Christopher in our room. He would never be able to sleep. Then I would have 2 cranky screaming babies!

Monday, December 22, 2008


Of and on lately my daughter grabs herself when she pees and says "Ouch!" Sometimes she even cries, and sometimes no problems. I took her to the doctor a month ago and he said she looked irritated but he did not think she had an infection. He said to put hydrocortizone cream on her and no bubble baths.

The problem continues to come and go. I don't know why. He said in order to check for infection he catheterize her at his office to obtain a sample. I have had a catheter and they are very painful. I don't want to traumatize her if not necessary. She did pee in her potty chair the other day. I saved the urine and the next day took it to my doctor's office and they checked it. They said it was clean.

Today she has slept a lot, and is generally just not herself. She is very cranky and just not her happy normal self. I took her temp under her arm and it was 98. She told me a couple times her pee pee hurts. I don't know what to do. I don't know if she is sick or what.

She has a slight runny nose and a little cough occasionally. She did fall today and grabbed her hip a couple times after she fell. I just don't know what is wrong and she doesn't want to talk much she's just sleepy or crying. I don't want her to be sick for her second Christmas either. I still need to take her and her brother to see Santa!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

To move or not to move?

We live in a two bedroom apartment, but it is the size of a 3 bedroom. Which means that our master bedroom is HUGE! I have a king bed, two end tables, twin bed, toddler bed, crib, dresser, computer desk, vanity, two bookcases, and a jewelry chest in our room, and we still have tons of floor space.

The problem is that both our kids sleep in our room. My son falls asleep in my bed or my arms, and then is placed in his crib. He wakes up at least twice a night. The worst night he was up 6 times. I think if he had his own room he might sleep through the night. I think that some of the times he just gets woken up by noises we make. Daddy snores, mommy coughing, and sister crying or laughing.

My daughter sleeps in our bed still. I can't try to get her to sleep in her own bed because if she screams and cries (which she will) she will wake up her brother. Then I will be dealing with two extremely unhappy children at one time. If you have more than one child then you feel my pain. One cries so the other can't sleep then they both start to cry followed by you crying as well (if you can't beat 'em, join 'em).

I think that if we had a 3 bedroom I might be able to get the kids to sleep in their own beds and sleep through the night. I am not sure if this plan would work, but it sure does sound good!

We looked at renting some houses, buying right now is not an option. To big, to small, to expensive is all we found so far. The problem is I love where we live. We park indoors so during inclement weather I don't have to take the kids out to go somewhere. I love our neighbors (on our floor). So I want to stay there, but I want 3 bedrooms.

A 3 bedroom opened up on our floor. Which I felt was a sign from God. My husband won't even look at it. It costs more, has less square footage, and has only 1 bathroom. We currently have 2. Another apartment opened up on the 2nd floor, and is exactly like ours. The only difference is that it has 3 bedrooms. Basically our big bedroom only with a wall in the middle.

We told our landlord that we would take it, but now my husband says "No". He says it is stupid to move into the exact same size apartment, but pay more money (70$ more)! I agree, but desperately want the 3rd bedroom! I understand his concerns about money especially with the economy the way it is. Plus, with me not working I feel that when it comes to money I don't have much of a say! We already turned off the cable to save money for a while. I know if I made a fuss he would move for me, but what if he is right and it's a bad decision.

I guess my biggest problem is that I don't know how to get my kids to sleep when I want them to sleep. I am trying for a bed time before 9pm, but most nights I am left at the mercy of my children and when they decide to fall asleep. I don't know what to do! I can't just throw them in bed and let them cry, and I won't

Friday, December 19, 2008

Cave in....

Last night my husband asked my daughter if she wanted a present. I couldn't believe it. He told me not to let them open anything, and here he was allowing her to open one. He said he just wanted to see if she knew what a present was. Well she did. She went to the tree and began to grab a present. I gave her one that I thought she would like to play with. We watched her open it. She knew exactly what to do. Plus, daddy helped. I think he was just as excited as she was.

However, we opened a can of worms here that we can't put the lid back on. All night and day since then she has been asking to open presents. We let her open one more, to help her brother open one of his. Thankfully tomorrow we are going to NaNa and PaPa's house until Christmas Eve.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Is it time yet?

For the first time in probably 10 years I can not wait for Christmas. My step mom sent presents the first of the month and they have been driving me nuts. Not for me, but for the kids. I can't wait to see them open them. Especially since Evie is older, and once she realizes what they are she will have so much fun. Christopher will copy her and it will be so cute. I am so excited. I can hardly wait! I've been counting down the days since the first.

The only bummer is that with all the expenses of two kids we don't have money to get the rest of the family gifts. We usually buy our parents, brothers, and sisters something. This will be the first year we aren't and it kind of sucks. We are chipping in $50 towards rock band 2 for my little brother and sisters. It is hard when they are so young ages 7, 9, and 11. You really want to get them something. Most of them believe in Santa so it's all the more fun. I would like to get our older brother and sisters something they need, but adults are more expensive.

The tree has been up since after Thanksgiving. The bottom half has slowly lost ornaments. They have been removed from small hands and placed higher up, out of reach. The fear of electric shocks forever haunt my thoughts, due to my son's constant attempts at eating the light bulbs.

We took my daughter to see Santa, at the Bass Pro Shop. She was excited until she sat on Santa's lap then the screams began. The picture was horrible, but I love it anyways. I want to take them both this weekend, and get a pic. I'm sure it will be a smiling Santa and two screaming kids, but if I don't at least get that I will be sad. Evie keeps asking to go see Santa, so maybe she won't cry this time. I'm not getting my hopes up.

All in all I know it will be a great Christmas. I just hope it gets here soon. I don't know how much longer I can keep from giving the kids their presents!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The fish!

My daughter is obsessed with fish. Every time we go to Walmart she wants to see the fish. Then asks "more fish, more fish". We tell her the fish have to go to sleep so we can walk away from the fish.

So when she got a present for Christmas from Grandma that she already had I decided to trade it in for fish. So with out completely thinking it through we bought her a small $10.00 fish tank and a Beta fish along with 2 other fish that looked like gold fish but were called something else. The 2 goldfish like fish have already died. I may have been over feeding them. And the tank was filthy. We have had it for two weeks, I think. So we bought two fish to aide in the cleaning of the tank.

All was well then hurricane Christopher hit. First of all the tank is in what I felt was the best spot in the house. We have an L shape bench for our dinning room table. In the corner is a small shelf. Where better to put a small tank? Christopher was on the bench with me, and noticed the tank. I thought "Oh how cute, he is looking at the fish!" I was right next to him and had no idea that what would happen next could even happen.

Some how he knocked the tank over. Water and fish went everywhere! I freaked. I grabbed him and put him in his crib. The only place that can contain him. He began screaming! Which woke up daddy who was sleeping for work. He didn't know what was going on, and he began screaming!

I was afraid to touch the fish! They are slimy! So I grabbed a Christmas card and scooped up the first one, the Beta. He was fine! The other a white fish that eats food and stuff off the bottom to help keep the tank clean was no where to be found. He ended up being under the light/lid. I thought he was dead. He flopped around a little, but when I put him into the tank he just laid on the bottom. (He is usually really active). The sucker fish didn't get tossed out, thankfully.

With everyone back in the tank I had to clean the mess up and add water. I was worried that if I just added tap water without treating it or letting it sit out they would die. Plus, what if it was to cold or hot. I tried for cool water close to room temperature. Then I let it sit out while I cleaned up. The tank had just enough water to keep the fish in water. I had to move the bench and dry up the water. Then I added the water. This was last night and so far they are all alive and doing fine.

For now at least they are all okay!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Thank you!

This is to all those people out there who take the time to offer their help for whatever reason.

Thank you, so much! You are in my heart and prayers always.

Thank you for grabbing the dropped shoe or binkie and chasing me down to return it.
Thank you for asking if I need help loading the car after grocery shopping with the kids, especially when it is snowing out!
Thank you for your kind words to the kids while they wait as quietly as they can in the check out isle.
Thank you for your patience, understanding, and compassion.

Thank you with my heart, all you kind strangers in the world, if only more people were like you!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

UPS for holiday shipping needs, Ha, Ha, Ha!

I have received many packages over the past month from both UPS and the Post office. If you want your package to arrive safely use the Post Office. I have 3 horror stories from using UPS. I have enough daily frustrations taking care of the kids, house, and spouse I don't need to spend my day finding packages that were paid to be delivered to my apartment.

I received a laptop for Christmas from my husband. It wasn't delivered to our apartment it was delivered to the main office. That would have been fine, but the driver indicated the package was left with me, and it wasn't. I stayed home all day waiting for it. He didn't even attempt to deliver it to me. He had other packages for the office, so left them all there! How lazy!

The second package was from my step mother. I was sent to a total different apartment than mine. The woman on the first floor received other packages and mine to. She opened mine and unwrapped the gift that was for my kids. I found a note on my door. When I went to get the package from her I didn't get the packing slip that should have been in it, and all the packing foam was gone from the box. I assume her kids played with them. I didn't mind since they are a choking hazard, but she should have asked. Then her son asked for the box. I gave it to him, despite my frustration.

The third horror story all I have is a UPS notice and no package. states that it was delivered, but I don't have it. The notice I received states that it wasn't left because a signature was required. If it was delivered who signed for it, and Where?

I cannot express in words how angry I am at UPS for their complete lack of customer service, and disregard for actually making a delivery. Which is what I thought they were in business to do! How can they still be in business employing such lazy drivers. I am sure not all are this way. Perhaps it is only one driver that I am lucky to get every time we expect a package! I just know that when given a choice I will use the post office instead.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Out with Grandma!

Yesterday afternoon my mom took my daughter for the afternoon. Supposed to be a couple of hours, but resulted in the entire afternoon. This wasn't the first time she went somewhere without me. She has been without me for small periods of time, no more than an hour. Except once when my In-Laws took her to lunch. I was taking a nap and didn't know what was going on until they were gone. Not that it wasn't ok, but I would have went with, if I had known. While they were gone I didn't know what to do with my self.

The same thing yesterday. You would have thought that I would love the peace and quiet, but I felt full of anxiety. I couldn't rest, but couldn't do anything either. I didn't know what to do. I had my son still, but things weren't the same. I couldn't stop myself from wondering what she was doing, thinking about, and saying!

It was horrible. I did wrap the Christmas presents! That was all I got done.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The baby book!

I feel so bad. Most of my daughter's baby book and journal is completely filled out. With unbelievable detail. Like the exact date she did things for the first time. My son's books not so detailed and not so filled out. I want to do it. And it drives me nuts that I haven't. I'm at the point now that I can't for the life of me think of what to put where though. What he did when is all a blurr! I feel horrible about it. And what's worse is I probably won't be able to figure it out.

Sleep please!

My son is up 4 or 5 times a night the past few weeks. I have no idea why. Previously, he was only up twice. I know that he is teething. He has 6 teeth now. The top four came in two at first, and before they finished coming in the other two started in.

The pediatrician says that he is in pain and that is why he can't sleep. Nothing I do seems to help. Tylenol, Motrin, teething drops, and tablets all help a little but he still wakes up crying and takes 10 to 30 minutes at least to get back to sleep. Half the time he will be asleep, but the minute I lay him down in his crib he starts crying and then sits up crying. I have to grab him because we all share a room, (My brilliant idea that has backfired) I have to get him out before he wakes up his sister. Unfortunately, for now we are stuck in a 2 bedroom apartment, and I refuse to change the toy room into a bedroom also. I like having a safe place that they can play. That way if I have to run to the bathroom I know they are ok. A bed in the mix just adds an unsafe toy for my monkeys to climb on.

So for now I am up every couple of hours all throughout the night. Complicated by nights when the kids take turns waking up. Those are the best! Add a sick mommy and you get a dangerous mix creating a sleep deprived, cranky, and judgement impaired whack-o. I can't wait for all this to pass! I don't want my kids to grow up fast I just want them to sleep all night, or most of it!

Sunday, November 30, 2008


I just feel so frustrated lately. I don't feel like doing anything. Taking care of the kids seems to be all that I have the energy for or the desire for. I don't know if it has anything to do with the cold weather. Now that it is cold the simplest tasks, like going to the store, are so much more difficult. Before I would take the kids by myself to the store and just grab a few things at a time that we need. Now doing this would be so hard I dare not even try. Snow suits, snow pants, gloves, hats, blankets, coats, boots, and a diaper bag are just to much for me to carry. The stroller is no longer an option. So I am now on my own. Even the kids are getting cabin fever. Some days Evie, my 21 month old, goes to the door and cries, "GO". I know she is used to going places, but I don't have the energy for all that goes along with getting out in the winter. My husband doesn't like doing most of the activities that we usually do. Like going to the library! It is impossible to get that man in a library or a book store. Oh, he reads just things that are on a computer screen! Already I can't wait for summer. All that keeps me sane right now is my excitement for Christmas! I can't wait for my son's first. Plus, now that Evie is bigger Christmas will be more fun for her, thus more fun for us!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

I'm Back!

I am sorry for the huge lapse in my posts. I have been having the worst time. It is as if the world is against me. Our computer got a virus and basically quit working. As if that wasn't bad enough nothing seems to work right for me lately. For example the other day I was making lunch, and I dropped the open can of Beefaroni, not our normal lunch but I was feeling very tired. It went everywhere, and of coarse my now super fast crawling son made it to a meat ball before I could stop him and choked on it. Lucky for me he coughed it right out.

Neither of my kids have been sleeping well. Christopher is getting 4 teeth at once and has a nasty cough, so he is miserable. Evie has a runny nose and a cough as well. No fevers, but sick enough to be miserable. So both of them a extremely whinny and cranky.

All I can say is that the past few weeks have been pushing me to my limits. All I want is for something to work out right, or maybe some good news, or just some time to myself (that isn't also my sleeping time. I just need a break, and I feel awful saying that. Mommy just desperately needs a time out.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Poor Little Guy!

As if choking wasn't bad enough. My son spent most of the weekend sleeping. I guess he was preparing for his marathon of vomiting and diarrhea. He woke up Monday morning vomiting, and it didn't stop until late Tuesday night. He was able to keep enough down that he didn't get to dehydrated. He is feeling much better, but still has the diarrhea. The doctor said it was, "Gastroenteritis".

Friday, October 10, 2008

Worlds Worst Mother!

It is official I am the worlds worst mother. I gave my son pizza crust. He is 8 1/2 months, and eats biter biscuits, wagon wheels, crunchies, and puffs (all from Gerber). I thought that he would be fine. I was sitting right next to him carefully watching him. I kept checking to make sure he didn't bite off a big piece.

I don't know how it happened, but it did. Some how he took a bite that was just the right size to choke him. He started vomiting. I didn't know what to do. I have had CPR classes, and am CPR certified. Nothing I learned prepared me for what happened. I didn't expect anything that happened to actually happen. I didn't know he would vomit, and he definitely didn't grab at his throat. I guess that's only for adults. I held him forward so gravity could do it's job, but other than that I froze. I was so scared I couldn't do anything.

After he stopped vomiting we thought all was ok. He never stopped breathing. I was holding him close, and feeling really bad. Then I realized he wasn't fine at all. I yelled for my husband who put his finger down Christopher's throat and discovered something in the back. Unfortunately, all he did was push it further back. During all this time he was breathing fine. So I think it was just stuck in the back of his throat.

He eventually swallowed it, and was fine. I held him close for ever, feeling horrible. Afterward he was sore for a while, but back to his usual self after about 15 minutes of resting on Mommy's lap. Even though he is fine I still feel awful. I can't believe I could have killed my son. I feel horrible. I can't let it go, and right now can't forgive myself.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Thank you stranger!

I was having a bad day. The day isn't over I meant to say, " I am having a bad day!"

I had to go to Wal-Mart, to make matters worse. I love the store, but don't like to go by myself with the kids just to get two things. That's no fun, and a lot of work for nothing. However, we needed both milk and formula.

It took me 15-20 minutes in the parking lot before I even got into the store. I had to feed Christopher who decided he was going to start screaming. I think he just wanted out of his car seat, he hates it! So I tried to feed him. He only ate 1 1/2 oz. Then I changed his diaper. Then I put him in the wrap in wear, set up as a front carrier. It does 15 carries, and I absolutely love it. I just wish it were a little easier to wrap. You know it could wrap itself, then it would be perfect.

There was a cart next to our car, but a store employee wanted to look busy while he flirted with some girl so he took it. Thank YOU, for nothing! I grabbed Evie who at this point desperately wanted out of her car seat as well. Now with my son strapped to me, my daughter on my hip, and my bag over my shoulder we headed in the store. Thankfully, my parking spot was close. That was at least 40 lbs with just the kids, and I'm sure the bag is close to 20 too!

In the store I start to look at things I want to buy, but don't have the money for right now. Then Evie signs she is "all done", and oops it is hot in here. Carrying a 20lb baby turns up the heat fast. So I have to hurry get the stuff and go.

Having a child in a front carrier is a blessing and a curse. It keeps them busy and happy. Unfortunately, you can't see their face. Therefore you have no idea what is going on. We head for the check out counter and I am placing items on the counter. When a man walking by says, "Excuse me I think that's your binkie"! At first I was confused. Then I looked a few feet behind us, and sure enough my son had spit out his binkie. I wanted to hug the guy to say, "Thank you!" That binkie is worth more than its weight in gold to me. Especially in a few minutes on the way home when Christopher will decide he has had enough.

My excessive gratitude stems from the fact that this man walking by noticed and told me this when no one else did. Despite there being countless others in the area and no one else noticed or bothered to say something! In fact the binkie was just inches away from one woman's feet. So thank you for just noticing and speaking up. I appreciate it!

Today it is sad, but often we are to self absorbed to notice anyone else. Other times we notice, but for what ever reason choose to say nothing! It is ok to be nice! Try it, I dare you!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Help Please!

I don't know what has happened to people today. It is as if offering to help someone has become a crime. I'm talking about any kind of help from opening the door, driving courteously, and what ever else you can think of. I know that with my two kids there are many times that I look like I need help, because often I do. It is really hard to do simple things like open doors when you are pushing a double stroller. Most times people don't even open doors for me. In fact I have held open doors for a lot of people who don't mind pushing by me and my two kids.

Fitting a double stroller in an elevator is hard to. I once had a lady move in front of me and stand as we waited for the elevator. I think she didn't think we would fit, and wanted to make sure she would get in. We had been waiting for the elevator for a while because we were on the top floor. When the elevator came I finally said, "We will all fit if you let us get in first." That way I could push the stroller up against the wall and not other people. I just can't believe how rude people are.

Due to the fact that my husband works nights I am often left to do the grocery shopping by myself. Or at least I am the only adult. Shopping carts are designed for one kid only. Even some of the newer ones that hold more than one kid are not baby friendly. I carry my youngest in a front carrier and my oldest goes into the cart. It is very hard to maneuver this way. Try bending down to pick up something with 20 lbs strapped to your chest. Yikes! And it is next to impossible to pick up anything heavy like a case of bottled water or pop. Do you think anyone offers to help! No.

I don't know what is wrong with people. You don't have to carry the kids, change their diapers, or buy my groceries, but would it hurt to be polite and hold the door?

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Babbling Baby!

Christopher has said his first baby words. "Da Da" was first two weeks ago. Followed by "Ba Ba" a couple days ago. I also swear he says "HI". I am trying for "Ma Ma," but all he does is smile.

Baby on the move!

Christopher has perfected his version of crawling. He is probably faster than any one in the military with his low crawl. It is the cutest thing to watch. He can crawl the right way, but his low crawl is just faster for him so that's what he prefers.

He is also pulling himself up on anything he can grab a hold of the tv stand, the couch, his sister, and the list goes on! He has even taken a few cruising steps around the couch. However, he is easily distracted and since his balance isn't that great he falls, ALOT! I have actually thought of getting him a helmet! NO Joke! But everyone assures me he will be fine. I remember thinking similar thoughts about my daughter as she was learning to walk. I didn't think she's make it to one. She started walking at 9 months, and brother is trying to beat her I guess! He just can't wait to be like his sister.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Sibling Rivalry!

I can not believe that my kids are fighting already. I did expect fights, but not this soon. The other day I put a cars tee shirt on my son. It was his shirt, but the problem was that I had allowed my daughter to wear it over the summer. My in-laws bought it months ago, and since it was to big for my son at the time I figured why not let Evie wear it. When I put it on him she was so mad. She signed cars and pointed at Christopher while she screamed. I was taken off guard I did not expect this. I told her he could wear it, and that she was already wearing a shirt so she couldn't wear it. This helped for a little bit then the tantrum hit again. Again I insisted there was nothing wrong with him wearing it and she had to share.

This was only the beginning of the brother sister madness over the week. My daughter has a pink toy laptop. We figured it would keep her busy when we were on our laptop. (Didn't really work!). However, she still plays with it. One day she sat on the living room floor with it and instantly brother noticed. He is mobile now. So within seconds he was at her side grabbing as babies do. This would not do. She began screaming as he grabbed and pulled. He is the stronger of the two, and would win this battle if I let it continue. I put her on the couch with the toy, and gave him something else to play with. He wasn't having it. He crawled to the couch and pulled himself up. Unfortunately, he couldn't reach his sister. He decided to scream out as he stretched as far as he could in hopes of obtaining the toy.

Again I was not ready for this. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't take the toy away for Evie. After all it wasn't her fault. Her brother loves her and is amazed by everything she does. He wants to be a part of it. Anything she has he wants. He always tries to be near her, and smiles the moment she walks in the room. He just doesn't know how to be gentle.

At 20lbs he is almost bigger than his 23lb sister. Soon he will be the bigger little brother. I want to be fair, and thought I knew how to handle these things. I was prepared for this type of stuff, when they get older. I had no idea it would happen so soon.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Weekend Get away!

A weekend get away is supposed to be just that, a quick and easy get away from everything. However, nothing is a quick and easy when you have kids even when it is only for 2-3 days. First of all you have to pack everything and anything you might need. This includes a complete medicine cabinet. If your kids are going to get sick it will be at night on the weekend when you are not at home! I found this out the hard way too many times to count.

Every other weekend we go to my in-laws home north of here. It is only about an hour and a half drive, but long enough to make the little ones miserable. I wish they would sleep. I am usually not so lucky. Each time without fail my daughter starts signing "all done", indicating she wants out of her car seat, when we still have 20-30 minutes until we arrive. We even have a DVD player for her already. I do not know how my parents survived without one!

I spend a few days before we leave attempting to get every thing in order. The day before I attempt to clean the entire house. Who wants to come home to a dirty smelly house? Not me. Don't forget to take out the trash. Old stinky diapers, do I need say more? The night before I pack and make a list. Then I can't sleep, despite the fact that I need to go to sleep early, because I am so stressed out about forgetting something. I have only done so once or twice! I also make a list of everything that needs to be done in the morning and grabbed before we can head out. This way my husband can help without messing up my plan.

We rarely get out of the house by the time we planned to, but each trip's departure time gets a little earlier. We are making progress, just slowly! Once we finally arrive and unpack thanks to grandma and grandpa it eventually is a get away. Actually it is the only time I really get to sleep! Thank God for Grandparents!

Monday, September 22, 2008

The Potty Train!

It is official. We are on the potty train, and we have no idea what we are doing!!! We got the potty chair and set it up. It's in the living room. That is where the pediatrician told us to put it. Or really he said to put it where she plays the most. Apparently this is to get her accustomed to it.

We are to leave it near where she plays until she feels comfortable sitting on it. Once she sits on it for long periods of time we are to start taking her diaper off when she sits on it. Then hopefully she will accidentally go in it. I think I am supposed to attempt this when I think she may have to go. If she does we are to of coarse make a big deal about it. Who wouldn't!! Thus encouraging more going in the chair. Finally, when she has got the idea and is comfortable with the chair it goes into the bathroom. All in all I was told this will take weeks. However, he assured me that if done correctly at her own pace things will work out for the best.

Due to the fact that I have never done this and don't remember my potty training I have to take his word for it. So the chair is in the living room next to the couch. What a conversation piece for company!! Already we have troubles. She doesn't want to sit on the seat without the cover over the hole! I don't know if this is normal or not, but hopefully she overcomes her fear of the hole! Wish us luck! I think we might need it!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

feeding baby solids!

My son is developmentally at the stage where he should be able to eat 2nd and 3rd foods along with things like Cheerios, Gerber Puffs, and Crunchies. However, often when he eats things that are thick he chokes and then vomits. I don't know if He isn't ready or there is something wrong. He does really good some times. He clearly wants to eat these things. Also he only has two teeth, the bottom front ones. He does try to mash things with his jaws. I just hope nothing is wrong.

My son the independent sitter!

Last Sunday my son sat up for the first time. Now he sits up all the time, and moves his entire body while sitting so he can face another direction. It is so cute. He is also trying to pull himself up on things. He doesn't crawl crawl yet. He does the commando low crawl. He is very good at it to.

I worry about him because he doesn't seem to pay attention to his balance. For instance when sitting he often will look behind himself then fall backwards and land on his head. You know that hurts. He pulls himself up on things, but then just lets go. He either isn't afraid or just doesn't realize whats going on. He has gotten more bruises during the past week than he has had the past 7 1/2 months! I know he will make it through this but my nerves are shot! I am afraid to take my eyes off him for even a second who knows where he will fall next. The worst part is he's not even walking yet!


I am fighting my kids and my lazy procrastinating inner urges and trying to develop some type of a daily schedule. It is not going so good. One night both kids are asleep by 8pm then they both wake up around 9 and are up a couple of hours. I am trying, but this is actually really hard.

To complicate things even further my kids couldn't be more different from one another. My daughter is like me and would rather stay up late and sleep in. My son is ready for bed by 7:30 most nights and awake at about 6:30 most mornings. You could set a clock to him. When he starts to get cranky at night I know its almost 7. He needs the schedule most of all because if he is up to long. He becomes a screaming monster!

I know my daughter needs some regularity with her daily life to. Most days she has trouble taking a nap. If I can't get her to sleep before 4 I make her stay up. Or at least I try to. She can't sleep after 4 or she will be up until midnight or one. The worst night was 3am when she fell asleep. Then of coarse baby brother was up at 6:30 all smiles! I just don't know what to do.

Part of the problem is she has never learned to fall asleep on her own. She falls asleep in my arms or in the car. That's it! So if baby brother is awake then I can't lay down with her. I tried putting her in bed and letting her scream for a while that had disastrous consequences. For now I am just doing the best I can. Hoping the day I can just tell her to go to bed comes sooner than later.

I am flexible on what we do during the day, but I try to get some things in. We watch Muzzy or some thing in Spanish at least once a day. I don't make them watch it, but I have it on so they can watch if they want to. I try to play with each of them separately a few times during the day. As well as letting them play together and by themselves. We read every day, and work on sign language. My daughter learns them quicker than I do. Plus, she makes up her own if she doesn't know one for what she is trying to say. We go a lot of places as well. Which also makes a schedule hard to follow.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Cranky Kids!

Both my kids are sick enough to be cranky and miserable, but not bad enough to go to the doctor. I am so worried because usually they end up having to go to the doctor any ways. If I rush and take them now then the doctor will think I am crazy, but if I wait they suffer. I don't know if they need antibiotics or not. I understand that with antibiotics you usually feel better within 24-48 hours. I also don't want them on antibiotics if they don't need them.

They both have runny noses, coughs, and sneezes. I'm giving them allergy medicine and Tylenol or Motrin. I am doing my best for them, but I don't feel so hot either! Their sleep schedules are out of whack to. Which only makes things worse for me because I don't get to sleep! I hope they start feeling better soon. I really hope they don't get worse, and end up at the doctors.

I am thinking about getting a humidifier for their room. I heard they have ones that kill bacteria while they run so you don't have to clean them every day! Who has time for that? I saw one but it was triple the price of the other ones. I guess if it works and saves you time it is well worth it. Plus, with winter coming I am sure we will get our use out of it!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

To Good To Be True!

Both kids were supper tired. I had to get my son to sleep first because my daughter won't go to sleep if she can hear her brother. So despite the fact that my daughter was super cranky and not to happy about sharing mommy this evening I had to take care of baby first. Then I laid down with my daughter and started watching a Thomas the Train movie. We didn't get very far into the movie when I realized she was already asleep. Yeah!!!

Nine O'clock and both kids were fast asleep! I used this time to clean up, and take a badly needed shower. I was finally in bed getting comfortable when my daughter began to whine! Uh, OH!!! She didn't eat much for dinner so I knew she was hungry. I had a bottle with 5 oz of milk and a container of Gerber bananas mixed together. I call them her smoothies! She loves them. She drank it in no time. Then she tossed and turned! I was worried. Finally disaster struck, she sat up and began babbling away! She was wide awake, and in a good mood ready to play! Yikes! So hear I am at 11 pm on the computer while she plays and just talks ans talks the night away! I wish I had her energy!

Friday, September 12, 2008

Cloth diapers!

I desperately want to help out the environment. I am embarrassed by the amount of diapers that I am constantly adding to land fills. However, I have looked into cloth diapers and am at a loss. Some newer ones are super expensive, and the older ones are a joke. I don't want to invest a lot of money in something that won't work. I also don't have tons of money to throw around either!

The cheap ones at Wal-mart like stores look ridiculous. You fold them around your child like your kid is Square, and then you safety pin them on! I am not comfortable pinning anything on my babies. How did people survive before we had disposable diapers. I tried these cloth ones and my fingers are sore. Not only are my kids not square, but they also don't lay still long enough to pin anything on! And let me tell you what it only takes pinning yourself once or twice before you give this up!

I really want to do my part. I have two little ones in diapers and use up to 100 diapers a week! I buy 3 boxes of 92 diapers every 2 weeks. Sometimes we have some left over and some weeks we run out! If anyone out their has an ideas or tips I am all ears.

Uh Oh!

Tonight we had dinner on the living room floor, our indoor picnic. I had taken some things into the kitchen to clean up, but I forgot my drink. My daughter thought the large over sized glass glass looked too good to resist. So of coarse she helped herself to it. It was to heavy so she dropped it and pop went everywhere. She knew she was not supposed to have my glass, and thought that she would be in trouble. She ran to the couch covered her face and began to pout. It was to cute I couldn't punish her. Our punishments consist of taking time outs in the time out chair, one minute for every year. For an 18 month old one minute of sitting still borders along the lines of torture. I reminded her not to drink mommy's drink with out asking, and cleaned up the mess. After all this accident was mostly my fault, leaving out one of the biggest temptations to her.

As I scrubbed the floor I couldn't help but think, "Please let me finish cleaning up one mess before you make another"!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Creating a Schedule!

I need help. I desperately need to create some type of schedule for our daily activities. I never know day to day what we will be doing or when we will do it. This makes planning for anything almost impossible. I just plan things and hope for the best. I don't know how many doctor visits I have had to reschedule due to kids taking naps late in the day. I don't care if the schedule is perfect I just need some type of a guideline. However, I don't know how to do this I have never been on time for anything let alone follow a set schedule. We have always just let our kids tell us when they are hungry or tired and worked around that. For infants this strategy is fine, but as kids age and become more vocal and active this no longer works. They become over tired and can't sleep or are really cranky. I would like to avoid these tantrums, and show the world the well behaved kids I see when they are not hungry or sleepy. My dad says my daughter is always cranky, but he never sees her when she isn't tired or hungry. I don't know what to do or how to do it. I think for my kids this is a necessity, but I am at a complete loss. I think life would run smoother if the kids and I new what to expect next. How the heck do you do that? Any ideas!

My daughter won't sleep!

My 18 month old daughter has never been one for sleeping a whole lot. Now that she is getting older it is getting harder and harder to get her to sleep. She has always slept in our bed and usually falls asleep in my or my husband's arms. She has regrettably never learned to fall asleep on her own. So if we can't lay down with her for whatever reason she is a bear. Also sometimes she just won't fall asleep. I don't know why. She can be super tired, but instead of sleeping she just goes and goes. As long as she gets whatever she wants she is fine, but if you tell her no she throws a fit because she is so tired. I don't know what to do. I have tried letting her cry in her crib, but I can't do it. We got up to 20 minutes of her just screaming then I quit. I couldn't handle it. Also during that time period she was extra clingy to me and extra whinny. I am at my whits end. I want her to get the sleep she needs, but I also want it at predictable intervals. So life can move on without tiptoeing around naps. I would like to create a schedule and have nap time at nap time. I don't know how to do this. We have always just let our daughter tell us when she is hungry or tired and worked around that. For infants this strategy is fine, but as kids age and become more vocal and active this no longer works.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Flying with kids???? Help Please!!!!

I am thinking about flying with my two kids to Colorado to visit family. I am not sure if this is a good idea or not. I don't know how the kids will handle flying and then the car ride to their house. I also don't know how they will be away from home and daddy. Since my husband doesn't have any vacation he will not be traveling with us. I know I can do this by myself. I am just worried it might be to much for the kids. On the other hand they might have a blast. Does anyone with experience traveling with kids have any ideas or suggestions????

Thursday, September 4, 2008

18 months Check up

Evangeline had her 18 month check up yesterday. She is 34 inches tall. That is in the 96th percentile. The doctor says that at 2 she will probably be off the charts. She only weighs 23 pounds. He was glad she gained since last time. She is doing really good. He said she is above average with her speech and walking. She still takes the bottle and binkie, which he was not happy about. I am working on it. I insisted she was doing very well getting off of both of them. However, while we were talking she got into the diaper bag and took her binkie and bottle out. I was totally humiliated as she put her binkie in her mouth and carried her bottle to around the room. Once she found a spot to sit she pulled out the binkie chugged her bottle and reinserted the binkie. Thanks Evie! He also recommended we start potty training which was something I thought would be in the distant future! I was and am completely unprepared for this. Next payday our potty training adventure will begin. She only had to get one shot and did pretty good with it. It was a hib I think. She did get a fever and really cranky later. I kept her on Tylenol and Motrin alternating all day and she was fine!

No Power!

The other night a transformer blew at one of the main substations for the entire town causing massive blackouts. It was the first time since Evie has been walking that we didn't have power. I don't know if she just sensed my frustrations, or if she was put off by the change from our normal routine.

Of coarse this had to happen during our bed time routine so both kids were having a horrible time falling asleep. Both of them just seemed cranky and wanted mommy, but their is only one of me. Usually my daughter watches cartoons while I get her baby brother to sleep. I just couldn't get him to sleep! Probably because we always have a fan on for the white noise, even I have trouble sleeping without it. It is unbelievable how quiet the world is when you don't have power. Not to mention his cranky sister wandering around making noises.

Plus, it was the hottest day of the week. It only took about 20 minutes with out the air conditioning to turn our apartment into an oven. She enjoyed looking at all the candles, which frightened me to death. All she would have to do is bump a table just right and end up burnt. I tried to make sure they were all in the safest spots possible, but kids can do anything they want if they just set their little minds to it! I kept a vigilant eye and no fires or burns thankfully.

After I get my youngest to sleep my daughter and I usually watch the Good Night Show on Sprout until 8 pm then we go to sleep. My daughter kept pointing at the TV and babbling about something. I am positive she was asking why she didn't get to watch her "toonies" what we call cartoons around here. I hope she didn't think she was being punished because she was very upset by everything that was going on. She did enjoy talking to all the neighbors about what was going on.

After two hours without power I decided to head to grandma's house thankfully they had power. So I packed up and headed out. This only made bed time harder for everyone. Christopher who normally is asleep by 7:30 didn't get to bed until 10pm. Evangeline didn't get to sleep until 11:30. I was exhausted. The air mattress was also horribly uncomfortable.

My son normally wakes up at 7 was up at 6:45, and his sister who normally sleeps in a little was up at 8. It was the morning from hell!!!! All I wanted to do was sleep, but they were wide awake. Most likely it was due to different surroundings this was the first time we had spent the night at my moms. Hopefully the last my back can't take things like that any more. Now I know not to go camping! So exhausted I hurriedly packed us up and we went home.

Friday, August 29, 2008


We went to Michigan for the weekend to visit my In-Laws. When we got there Papa Chris was at the doctor's office he had a suspicious rash, which turned out to be Shingles. Shingles is a variation of Chicken Pox. Apparently once you have had Chicken Pox it remains in your system dormant until something disturbs it and causes Shingles. He was bit by a horse fly on his back. This happened to be in just the right spot over a nerve that set the virus off.

Any one who has not had Chicken Pox can get the virus from someone with Shingles, and they say to avoid pregnant women, elderly, and children under 12 months. His doctor advised him not to even be in the same room with the children. My family doctor said it wasn't a real concern unless the kids were rubbing up on him. You only get it through direct contact. My daughter has been vaccinated for varicella, but my son has not yet.

I didn't want to take any chances I took the kids and went home. I can't have both of the kids that sick at the same time. They are just to little right now. Plus, my husband had to use up all his vacation already for my C-section, my gall bladder surgery, and when my son was in the hospital for RSV and Laryngomalacia. So I would be on my own.

My mom thinks I shouldn't worry about it if they get it good. According to her this is the best time for them to get it because they are so young. She says it won't be that bad for them. I on the other hand am not so sure. I was in fifth grade when I had them, and it was horrible. As a mother I have to try to shield my kids from harm as much as possible. Hopefully they will never get chicken pox.

My husband wants me to listen to the family doctor who thinks I didn't need to leave the grandparents house. Just keep a shirt on grandpa to make sure the sores are covered, and watch that they don't seep through. They can also seep through his sweat. I just want my kids safe. I already left and don't want to chance anything. He started taking pills for it today. My plan is to go back Sunday. Maybe that will be enough time and we don't have to worry any more.

I feel really bad about the whole situation. I know they love the kids, and my kids adore them. Especially their Papa, but I can't be to careful when it comes to their safety. I know he would just be devastated if they got sick from him.

Plus, my husband has never had Chicken Pox, and is at risk to. He always gets to be the care free fun guy while I have to be the worried neurotic parent. It's not fun, but I already had a baby in Pediatric Intensive Care twice I really don't want to go there again if I can help it!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Belly Burn!

I mean that literally. I was cooking spaghetti for dinner when I got burned. I went to stir the noodles, but I stirred to hard. The spoon slid right out of the pan and bolling hot water was thrown right onto my stomach. It hurt BAD. I screamed, "Oh SH**T!" The thought of tiny ears was far from my mind at that moment.

Then the thought of tiny ones did enter my mind. Better me than either one of my kids I thought to my self as I searched the crowded freezer for an ice pack. I used my pants to hold it into place while I finished cooking and thanked God I wasn't holding one of the kids because I often do while I cook. In fact just a few minutes before this I was holding Christopher, but I had sat him down in the living room to play. He was still fussy so I don't know why I put him in the living room, but I am so glad I did. I have learned my lesson to. No kids while I cook no matter what. If they gotta scream they gotta. Its better than getting burned!

I know have a bunch of large red patches on my tummy next to my belly button, just above the stretch marks and other scars. The worst part is that even now hours later it still hurts, and it hurts to hold the kids. I don't know if I even have any thing to put on it or a bandaid big enough to cover it. That's my luck.

Funny Feet!

Evangeline has a play picnic set we got her for the summer. It has plates, cups, a cute basket, picnic cloth, and utensils. It is pink with pandas on it. I think we got it at a Wal-Mart, where else.

I was in the bed room trying to rock Christopher to sleep when I see that Evie is coming in. I think, "Oh, No!" Because how can I get him to sleep with noisy sissy in the room. However, she is taking a really long time to walk into the room. I know she is coming because I can see her shadow. I realize she is also walking really weird. I wonder what's wrong, but she isn't crying so I don't worry.

When she finally crosses the threshold into the room I almost die laughing. So much for sleeping baby brother! She has the two tiny pink cups on her feet as shoes and can hardly walk. She is determined to do it though and walks very slowly into the room taking extreme caution so she doesn't fall or loose her new shoes!

First Tooth!

Christopher dad his first tooth pop up. I noticed it Tuesday the 26th. I felt something sharp, and upon closer inspection realized you could actually see it a little bit. It is on the bottom left. I was so excited we did the "I did it dance"! We move our arms up and down as mommy sings "You did it, You did it, Yeah!" He loved the extra attention.

No wonder my happy guy hasn't been so happy lately!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Never enough time!

I never have enough time in the day. There is always something I didn't do that I wanted or needed to. After a while it wears on you. Then you start to miss sleep because you are to stressed out to sleep or you are trying to catch up on things whenever you can.

Unfortunately I just get overwhelmed when I don't get enough sleep. Then every body suffers. Because then I don't get time to myself. So it becomes a trade off either catch up on sleep or have me time, guess what i pick the sleep! Sometimes no matter how tired you are you just can't sleep! Especially when your mind is bogged down with the day and all they days before. You get stuck in a cycle where time becomes your enemy. Then I end up becoming my husbands enemy, because I can be nice to the kids no matter what, but the rest of the world needs to watch out when I'm not happy.

Binkie Enabler!

Our Pediatrician has been nagging me for months because of my daughter's attachment to her binkie. "We aren't trying hard enough to break this habit," he says. Apparently binkies cause all sorts of problems after the age of one or some where in there. They cause speech delays or other speech problems, dental problems, and ear infections.

But what about all the good they do! Ok, that part is just me being selfish. Having two kids so close together is hard work. For example how do you make a 18 month old toddler be quiet for any amount of time???? You give them a binkie!!! If the baby is asleep and Evie is being fussy I give her a binkie. If I am trying hard to get my son to sleep and he can't because his sister is making too much noise for whatever reason I give her a binkie. If I need some peace and quiet to keep my sanity in tack I give every body a binkie!

I know this will all pass and she will out grow the binkie. I have yet to see a kid in elementary school with his or her binkie still. I just don't want to rush her because I am not ready. I can't deal with the screaming.

How on earth could I get one kid to sleep when the other won't stop screaming? Not to mention the fact that at this point all it does is provide comfort for her when I can't. She will take it out and give it to me when I ask for it with little thought. At times she even says it is "Yucky". If she puts it in my mouth I spit it out and say "YUCK".

So I am trying. Just not that hard, but do you blame me. She has had some ear infections and I feel horrible, as if they are my fault for allowing her to have a binkie and bottle. I just don't really know what else to do!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Choking Hazard!

I think the biggest choking hazard my youngest child, my son, faces is his older sister. The other day I gave my daughter some of those Gerber Crunchies, the veggie dip type, in her Gerber snack bowl, the one that attempts to keep her from making a mess! She was in the living room playing and enjoying her snack. Her brother was enjoying his tummy time, any day now he is going to crawl. I ran into the kitchen, which is only 10-15 feet from the living room, just to get a glass of water.

When I hear my daughter laughing and clapping about something. She does this when she thinks or knows she has done a good job or done something good. At first I couldn't figure out what she had done. I was standing in the hall staring at them then I realized she had shared her crunchies with her brother. He had a crunchie hanging out his mouth almost like a cigarette. I screamed, and ran in the living room removing the crunchie as quickly as I could. I then explained to Evie that brother is a baby and can't have big girl food.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Frenulotomy Surgery day!

I didn't sleep well last night. I was nervous about today's surgery. All went well though. My husband was going to stay home with our daughter, but she woke up at 6:30 this morning so I thought why don't we all go. Big mistake. She was tired and cranky and bored! She did not want to sit in the stroller at all despite the toys and treats I brought with us. Almost sounds like she's a dog.

She was so cranky. We all were in the prep room. (I'm not sure the technical name for the room, but it's where you get ready for the surgery and then wait to be taken into surgery.) Christopher sat very still for all his vitals, but his sister was crying and signing "ALL DONE". It was a nightmare. Not to mention the fact that because my husband works nights he was up all night and cranky too!

Christopher was so cute in the tiny hospital gown. It's the fourth one he's been into. I actually have two from the first times he was in the hospital. This one was orange with looney tunes on it. He was in such a good mood. The entire time we waited, about an hour, he mostly played, laughed, and talked. I was nervous, but mostly worried about cranky thing one and two!

When they took him back I felt bad at first because I couldn't go. I know why, but still it is hard to be separated from your child especially when you know they are going under the knife. I sound like he had some thing major done. To catch you up he had a Frenulotomy done. The ski under his tongue comes holds his tongue down to much. It actually extends all the way to the end of his tongue. It causes eating difficulties and later speech problems. So it is best to fix it during infancy.

The procedure took probably 15 minutes. They put him under anesthesia by use of a gas mask. He wasn't under long because before they came to get me I could hear him crying. They then gave him rectal Tylenol to help with pain. They numbed the area with a local anesthetic. Then clipped the skin under the tongue back so that it is now normal. There was little bleeding, according to the doctor only a drop. He didn't even need stitches. He had a little drainage after ward, but was fine.

In recovery when I came in he was crying, but also laughing when he saw me. I felt so bad for him, but so good to be wanted that much. He stopped crying a little when I held him, but he was miserable. I got him dressed and tried to feed him. He wasn't interested in eating so since we were discharged we left. I tried to put him into the stroller, but he screamed. He just wanted to be cuddled. By the time we got into the car he was fine. He watched the DVD "Meet The Robinson's" until he fell asleep. The rest of the day he was a little crankier than usual and slept a little more, but other than that was his normal self. I alternated Tylenol and Motrin all day so he wouldn't suffer any pain.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Sleep PLEASE!!!

Last night was awful...

I'll start with my son. He was asleep by 7:30, and I thought oh what a great night this is shaping up to be. He woke up at 10 and ate 5 ounces and went back to sleep after I changed his diaper. No big deal. He woke up a 1 am and I thought, "What the heck?" But I made him a bottle, he only ate 3 ounces and I changed his diaper. He went back to sleep. Then 4 am hit and he was awake. He was wide awake and didn't fall back to sleep until between 5:15 and 5:30. Then at 7 he was up. He took a 3o minute nap at 9am. Ok, so that wasn't too bad, but combine that with my daughter and "Ouch, I'm hurting for some sleep".

My daughter's night wasn't so pleasant. She didn't fall asleep until after midnight. I tried and tried. She then was whining at 3 am. She wanted to cuddle with me, but I didn't feel good and couldn't get comfortable so every time I moved she moved. We each made the other uncomfortable every time we moved so for about an hour neither of us slept. Then when her brother woke up so did she. She tried to get out of bed but I kept yelling at her, "No, lay down it's bed time."

Finally in desperation I turned on Muzzy, the foreign language DVD set we have, both the kids love it, and laid them both down. I tried to sleep. Every 10-15 minutes my daughter would bother me and I'd just tell her no time for bed. They both fell asleep a little after 5. Around 9:30 my daughter was up for the day.

Now its tonight and we are headed down the same path. Christopher has been asleep since 8pm. Evie is tired, but won't sleep. She sleeps with me and usually I don't have such trouble. We spent the weekend at my in-laws and there it is impossible to make her sleep so we basically let her stay up until she can't any longer. That's not gonna fly here. She no longer has her own crib. I couldn't get her to sleep in it. So instead of buying a second crib her brother sleeps in hers. She is currently screaming bloody murder because I put her in the play pin and told her she has to go to bed because it is bed time. I feel absolutely awful, but don't know what else to do. I have to sleep or I'm gonna go nuts!!!!

If any one has ideas to solve our sleep dilemma I am all ears!!!!!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Whats wrong with my baby????

My son has been diagnosed with Acid Reflux, GERD, from the age of 2 months. We have always tried to keep him upright especially after eating. I have always thickened his formula with cereal. We tried medication, but it didn't seem to work. Not that long ago my son developed these horrific screaming episodes. He would just scream until he fell asleep. Sometimes he would be hungry but would refuse to eat. He would arch his back and tighten up his body like he was in pain. The screams were like nothing I had ever heard from him, and often they would last as long as a half hour.

At first the doctor said it sounded like colic. We tried gas drops, and gripe water with little relief. I tried Tylenol and Motrin with still no signs of relief. I took him to see our family doctor, he usually sees the pediatrician. Again he said what I was describing sounded like colic, but he commented that my son was past the age you generally see colic. I was not convinced and not happy with what I considered a diagnosis of convenience. It seemed to fit so that's what they called it. I wanted to know exactly what was wrong.

The doctors told me not to worry he was thriving and doing well. That is fine and I was very thankful for that especially after all he has been through. However, the screaming episodes were increasing. Each episode seemed to increase in intensity. My son was clearly in pain, and suffering needlessly. I was furious with my doctors, and family for not taking this serious. No one who can talk would be made to suffer so much pain so why is it OK for my baby!!!!

He was spitting up more often and the spit up would stink with a horrific acidic smell. You just knew that it had to burn coming up. I asked the pediatrician at his 6 month check up. He said that with GERD my son would have heartburn, and now that he is older he would experience the pain more. He explained the smell of the spit up was due to being partly digested and therefore was completely normal. However, he didn't tell me what to do or give him any thing for it. I was let down again. Anyone who has had heartburn knows it is not pleasant at all.

He had a couple episodes at my mom's house. She acted like it was no big deal. My youngest brother had GERD and according to her did the same. She said it sounded like gas and told me to hold him, burp him, comfort him, and if that didn't work put a warm cloth on his belly. I was angry she didn't take it serious at all either. I know he is going to live, but he doesn't need to suffer.

Finally, one weekend we were at my in laws and my son was having a particular bad day. They did take it serious and sympathized with me. I call the doctor and insisted they at lease give him a prescription for his acid reflux. If that is whats causing the problem then he needs something. We have been trying it for a couple weeks and he's doing better.

I also restarted introducing solids. He has had bananas and prunes only for the past 10 days. I also realized that when we moved to the crib he was no longer sleeping elevated. Prior to that he was in his car seat which I kept in the bassinet next to my bed. So I put a wedge under his mattress and now he sleeps at a 30 degree angle. I also try to feed him more often so he never goes hungry. The pediatrician recommended this to reduce heartburn. I am also still using gas drops, Tylenol, Motrin, teething tablets, and lots of love. He has had less and less episodes, and seems to be doing much better.

Unfortunately, I don't have a specific diagnosis. I am just doing all I can. I really would like someone to say this is exactly what is wrong, no doubt about it.

Friday, August 15, 2008


A few months ago we were told that our son had a problem with his tongue. The tissue under the tongue that holds it down is to prominent. We were told not to worry, and that we would just watch to see if it caused any problems. My husband and I thought he was a very silly baby because he always has his tongue sticking out, and has done so almost since birth. Now that he is older he constantly makes raspberry noises as well.

Since he has been able to sit up, with assistance, we have been trying to spoon feed him and are having tons of problems. He spits almost all the food out. I know that he needs to learn to eat with a spoon, but it seems like he is trying and just can't. His tongue just pushes the food out. It seems only every once in a while would he actually really be able to take a bite.

Looking back to when he was a newborn I had attempted to breast feed him, but with little success. For one thing it was really painful. I just thought I was doing something wrong. He was also really noisy, and that scared me. We later found out that he was so noisy due to a throat condition he had called Laryngomalacia. Also, breast feeding takes up a lot of time, and my daughter was to young to understand why this baby was getting all Mommy's attention. So to my disappointment I quit breast feeding.

Now my son is set up to have surgery this coming Thursday. He is having a Frenulotomy. Which is the surgical detachment of a frenum. The skin under your tongue that holds your tongue down. His comes all the way out to the end of his tongue. If this is not done he will continue to have eating problems, develop speech problems, and when he has teeth the skin can and probably will get stuck between his teeth.

The procedure seems relatively simple. He will be put under anesthesia, but only by a gas mask. All they will do is cut back the tissue as close as they can get to being right underneath his tongue. He may not even bleed. Apparently this procedure has been done since the 18th century when midwives would just use a sharp nail at birth to separate the tissue. None the less as a parent I am still nervous for my son, and praying that all is well.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

The emergency room.

Everyone hates to go to the emergency room. However, the worst things always happen at night. They either get worse at night or begin at night. So what do you do. As a parent you and I both know it is torture to wait until the doctors office open when we know our children are suffering.

My son is clearly in pain this evening and I have no idea why. It looks like gas pain, but I can't get it to go away. He has Acid Reflux and that in itself can be painful. I don't know what to do. I was literally in tears earlier holding him, because I could just feel how much he was suffering, but I didn't know what to do. I couldn't do anything but hold him. I feel so worthless to him. I want to take him to the ER, but I also know it is not life threatening, or I believe it's not. That doesn't make the situation any easier. He is 6 months and clearly in a lot of pain.

He's grunting and tightening up his entire body. His temp is 100.9. And he keeps lurching like he is going to vomit, but doesn't. Sometimes it sounds like something came up but he swallowed it. His eyes were watering like he was crying from the pain. I kept trying to burp him, but it didn't seem to help. I gave him gas drops, his acid reflux med, tried to feed him, and gave him Tylenol. He finally fell asleep. I want to take him to the ER, but at the same time I really don't. Nobody wants to sit for hours and hours unless you truly have to .

I know when your supposed to go to the emergency room, but it is hard to watch someone so little suffer. Since he's resting I will wait, but if he isn't able to sleep due to it then we will be off to the hospital. I am really afraid he will vomit in his sleep, and I won't hear him. He's only 5 feet from my bed, but I am still worried. Thank God he is still on his apnea monitor. If he wasn't I would probably be at the hospital already. Because of the machine I know his heart rate and breathing are OK. Hopefully he can rest until the morning then see the doctor.

What more than likely will happen is that he will have an unpleasant night, but be fine when I finally get him in front of the doctor. Which will then make me appear totally insane, but I am used to that. Every since my son spent most of March in the hospital, and half of that in the Pediatric Intensive Care unit, I have rushed him to the pediatrician for every cough, sneeze, and fever. I am not taking any thing for granted. The time he spent in the hospital were some of the worst days of my life!

Life insurance???? Any answers....

I know we should get life insurance on our kids just because. I try to talk to my husband about it and he says he doesn't want to think about it. I don't even think we have life insurance for ourselves. He takes care of all that. My mom has 50,000 on me still.

I was thinking that we should look into getting some type of policy that would have a cash value when the kids are older. So if they wanted to or maybe had their own policies they could cash in this one for college or a down payment on a house. Are there policies out there that don't cost a fortune, but would yield a large cash value after 20 or 30 years? What is a good company to talk to? I am completely naive when it comes to things like this. That is why I have my husband, but unfortunately even when I approach it from this angle he doesn't want to talk about it. He has a hard time when ever the concept of death is even mentioned. I don't blame him, but you still have to be smart. I say plan for the worst and hope for the best!

Family Drama....

I haven't been able to post much lately because I have been exhausted. My cousin and her 19 month old son are staying with us, in our two bedroom apartment. Her husband kidnapped her son and wasn't going to give him back. Apparently since they are married its not called kidnapping and he was totally within his rights to do so. She finally got possession of her son and called the police. Since he was being violent, and has a history of violence they let her keep her son. He was already arrested once for spouse abuse. She filled a restraining order and was granted temporary custody. However, now she has no where to go. She is in the processes of filling for medicaid and WIC and food stamps. She has also called for legal aid. Get this they are going to call her back at a scheduled time for an on the phone interview to see if she qualifies then if she does, which she should, they will set her up with an attorney. But they aren't going to call her back until the 29th of this month. That is crazy. I guess you need money and lots of it to get any real help these days.

She was given a court order for the restraining order, temporary custody, and to get her possessions from the house. When she went to the house with an officer. Her husband refused to let her in. He should have been arrested, due to the court order. The officer told her he didn't want to get into a fight over clothes. He told her she needed to go to the court house with the police report he filed and get a court order. She believed him and did as he said. At the court house they were horribly rude and told her she had a court order, and then highlighted the area to show the officer. It did say that the officer was to escort her onto the premises to get her and the baby's stuff, and if her husband didn't comply he was to be arrested. So either the officer was an idiot or just plain lazy. Either way look at what we have serving and protecting us. That's so reassuring!!!

Why am I involved? If the same thing happened to me I would hope that people would help me. I couldn't imagine not having my kids for a day!

Am I stupid?

Last night I opened the refrigerator at 10 pm looking for a snack for my 17 month old daughter who through sign language told me she wanted to eat. She grabbed a pack of pork chops and while handing them to me did the sign for eat. So what did mommy do? She cooked pork chops at 10pm. We had already eaten dinner around 8, which is late for us. Since she didn't eat much due to all the excitement I was concerned and wanted to make sure she had enough to eat. We had a crazy day that completely threw us off our normal routine. We ended up at my mom's for dinner where she has 5 yorkies most of them are tiny puppies, and my 6 year old brother, 8 year old sister, 11 year old sister plus her friend, my cousin and her 19 month old son, my kids, me and my husband, my parents, and my 26 year old sister were all there. Evangeline was totally fired up and wouldn't or couldn't really sit still to eat. I kept giving her bites of green beans, corn, or chicken when ever I could catch her.

Anyways I busted out the George Foreman and cooked those pork chops. It only took about 10 minutes all together. Can you guess her reaction when I tried to give them to her? She was cuddled up on the couch with daddy watching cartoons. I came in and showed them to her. She whinnied and rolled over towards daddy so I couldn't see her face or anything. Daddy even tried to feed her a bite. "Nope" she wasn't having it. She decided now she just wanted milk. Knowing she was hungry, but to tired I made her a smoothie, sort of. I mixed 4 oz of milk with a container of banana and mixed berries second foods from Gerber. So at least she had something good. Mean while any body hungry for pork chops. Can you say, "Sucker"!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Afraid to Forget!

Every time I wish my kids were older so life would be a little easier I shutter. The thought of my babies no longer being babies brings tears to my eyes with the painful realization that one day they won't need me any more. Hopefully they will always come to me for advice, and if I'm really lucky they will actually follow it. But the painful reality is that they will grow up and move away.

Already I see so much change in Evangeline. She wants to feed herself, actually she insists on it! I don't get much say in that department. She tells me "Bye, Bye" and leaves the room to go play in another. I know these are all good things, but one day I'm gonna really miss these little things.
The annoying way she insists I rub her head to help her go to sleep. The way she follows me from room to room. How sometimes she actually pulls my pants down while getting my attention so I'll pick her up. Which can be really embarrassing, make sure your pants fit well!!!

Christopher is growing up so fast too. Sometimes he doesn't even let me rock him to sleep. He wants to just lay down and then he falls asleep on his own. He tries to hold his bottle now. Which ends up in more play than eating, but he's learning. Some day he will grab his spoon and scream at me when I try to feed him, and some day he won't even need me to cook for him.

The sad thing is that some days I wish they weren't babies. The ironic thing is one day they won't be and I'll wish they were. The unfortunate thing is that with both of them being so little life gets so hectic that it is impossible to take in all these little things. I want to remember everything. Half the time I forget what I'm doing from one room to the next let alone savoring the time with my children. I'm so afraid that life is moving to fast. How do you slow it down?

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Siblings Love or Hate?

My son adores my daughter. He watches everything she does so intently. He pays more attention to her than to me! He gets excited when she is near and tries to grab hold of her. Does he think she is a toy? Or maybe he just can't wait to play with her. He has grabbed her hair on a number of occasions and her shirt is another of his favorites.

Once I thought they were both playing together so well. They looked like they were both examining the same thing very intently so I grabbed the camera. Only to discover their heads were so close together because Christopher had Evangeline's hair and she couldn't get away. When she finally pulled away she pulled back so hard she landed on her bottom. It didn't stop her from coming back to play some more though. However, upon her return she held her hand up as if to say, "Stop"! He just grabbed her shirt, which made it even harder for her to pull away.

She loves him to. She lays next to him on the floor, often putting her head on his or on his back. She constantly kisses him. In fact I am positive she gave him RSV when he was two months old. Hey, brothers and sisters gotta share right! She gives him toys and his binkie. She tries to feed him his bottle. She won't share her lovey, her blanket called "Softy".

She was given a cookie monster doll one night. When Christopher saw it he fell in love. The next morning I asked her if she wanted it. She did the sign for "Baby". So I asked her do you want me to give Cookie Monster to your baby brother. She did the proud laugh that says, "You understood me!" So I gave it to her brother who laughed hysterically while he tried to chew on Cookie Monster's eyes. What an awesome sister, Huh?

A little too awesome, she shares to much, I almost had a heart attack when I realized she would also try to feed him. She was eating yogurt, and he was in his jumperoo. He looked like he had spit up, but it was pink. He didn't eat anything pink so I was worried. I smelled it. It smelled like yogurt so of coarse I tasted it! Yep, it was strawberry yogurt. Evie has given him some. No more walking around with food!!! Yikes!

The problem is she also smacks him at times. I tell her no to be nice or careful, but as if to spite me she smacks him harder. I don't know if she understands. I really think she does. That is why it bothers me so much. He doesn't seem to mind. He is a tank! At 6months he is over 17 lbs. Friday I will know how much for sure, his 6month check up. He fervently kicks anything that touches his feet. So I am sure when he does this she thinks he is kicking her.

I know there will be fights and sometimes it won't be pretty, but I'd like to do the best I can to prevent them. Sometimes I can see it in Evie's eyes the disappointment when she needs me or wants me, but I am taking care of Chris. She cries a little, but on most occasions she seems to understand and just waits.

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