Some days nothing gets done. At the end of the day I sit and think, trying to figure out where the day went. I usually have no idea. It has ended, and nothing was accomplished. I am greatful we are all alive and well, but I cant help feeling lazy. When I tell my friends they always blame it on the kids. I have my kids every day. They're mine! So why are some days non productive and others not....I must be lazy, sometimes. Or at least it feels that way to me. Granted chasing a 6,5,3, and 1 year old around can be exhausting and frustrating. However, I'm not buying into that as an excuse. I do realize that getting things done is not as important as stopping to be silly and having fun with my monsters every now and then. Hopefully, more often than then! So for now Lord, give me the wisdom to know when to play, the courage to not stress out, and the strength to just let go! Amen.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Friday, December 6, 2013
Taking a little time out of the insanity to say hello. I have been so busy this year. You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I will. I spent over half the year going to my mom's everyday. Taking all 4 of my kids there all day everyday. So I was taking care of them, and my mom who has lou gehrigs disease, and my brothers and sisters. I've been homeschooling my 16 yr old sister, poorly but she's a demon. No seriously she is. I was doing better. However after 2 weeks of excruciating migraines and a possible miscarriage I had to cut back. That's why she is poorly homeschooled. I can't do the work for her, and I've got no power over her to make her. So I advise and that's it. She's not doing well but I did my best. I still help take care of my mom. I also took over her job in the family business. So now I am office manager for my dad's office. I work anywhere from 20 to 40 hours a week. And still do every thing else. The only difference is now I have a Lil money so ever so often I pay someone to help clean. Some days for no reason at all I feel so exhausted. Unfortunately for now that's my life. It could be worse could be better. I am trying my hardest not to take my children and hubby for granted. I'm trying not to miss any of the little things. I'm trying to hold it together. Trying to be a good mom and role model. Some days i do better than others. Often the stress makes me yell. I don't wanna yell. Trying to get to a place where i can be proud of myself i stead of feeling like a failure. Which I s hard to do when you set impossible goals.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Everyday last week I sent a cutie (small orange fruit) with Evie in her lunch box. Everyday the lunch box came home with only the peels. So today I bought more and told her I got more cuties for your lunch. She said "mom I have to tell you the truth. I don't like cuties." I reply, "but you ate one everyday!?" She said, "No, someone else did....I gave them to one of my friends!" I busted up laughing. She then added "if you want me to eat fruit you should send apples and peanut butter!" I just kept laughing!
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Sunday Evie was playing on a ride on toy when she crashed into something and broke a tooth! She said it was wiggly, but when she wiggled it just broke. She didn't cry and says it doesn't hurt. Lucky it's a baby tooth and would come out soon anyways. However it broke completely in half across the gum line. A tiny bit is hanging down but not enough to grab an try to wiggle or pull the rest out. We are finally going to the dentist today, Wednesday. Hopefully, we will get some good news. I'm hopeing he can get the rest out quickly and painlessly! Ha, like anything ever works out like that in life. Wish her luck and say a prayer....we shall see! The worst part is this tooth is one of three that have cost me over 3,000 dollar in the last 6yrs. She had what they call "bottle rot" and has had them fixed 3 times, by 3 different dentists. Each time they didn't get all the decay out so after time it spread. The last time she had it done in a hospital. They had so little tooth left she had basically fake teeth attached. (I don't know the correct terminology an am to tired to look it up!) The second dentist treated her like you would an adult so she's terrified of dentists!
Monday, February 4, 2013
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Now it sounds like he is a horrible kid. He is not! He is a very smart and loving person. He just cannot help it. He gets upset, frustrated, or angry and cannot control how he acts. He loves to help and can be very loving. He usually isn't gentle but that isn't on purpose either. I always say he is basically 2 kids! My angel and my demon all in one, but you never know what your gonna get! And they can switch on you in an instant.
P.S. If any one has any experience with these medications or any advice please don't hesitate to leave me a comment! At age 5 we really don't want to start medication. I don't think the vitamins could do any harm, but I guess you never know. I'm not sure if any long term research has been done on them. I am just gonna trust my doctor, because I do trust him, and I am in way over my head!
Thaddeus is sick to but he has diarrhea. He is so cranky and miserable. He has hardly slept at all today. He will be seven months tomorrow. The worst part is every time he goes it is so watery it seeps out everywhere, and I have to change him.
I hope they feel better tomorrow we are supposed to go to my moms and watch the Super Bowl. The older kids aren't sick, and I know my mom is looking foreword to it. She has ALS and doesn't get to leave much or have many visitors other than me and my sisters. I hate it because many of my moms friends ask me on facebook how she is and if there is anything they can do. If your really a friend don't talk to me go visit her! That's my rant for the day!
Well wish me luck! Hopefully we all get some sleep tonight and get to watch the niners win it tomorrow with all the family!
Friday, February 1, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
I am driving home after taking my oldest, Evie, to the doctor. Ally (the 2year old) and Thaddeus the baby are in the car as well.
Ally says "Mom, Evie called me a name!"
"Oh, what did she call you?" I ask.
"She called me 'ALLY'," she responds.
I smile. "That's because that is your name!" I say trying not to laugh.
"Oh, you call me that all the time...(giggles)...I'm so silly!" she laughs!
Then she makes monkey noises for a while to show me how silly she is!
I say, "Yes, you are silly!"
She adds, "you are too, mommy!"
My children never cease to amaze me!
First, I will start with the positive. The best thing that happened in 2012 was the birth of my second son, my fourth and most likely final child, Thaddeus Samuel Menear. I didn't post during my pregnancy because it was rough. I had gestational diabetes again and I was just miserable. Plus, the thought of another C-section was really dragging me down. In fact during my C-section I said "I'm never doing this again!" Having a C-section is nothing like they show on TV! It is horrible. I freak out every time and have a massive anxiety attack. I was also nervous about having another baby because of our life in general. I was finally at a point where I could go back to work. Lord, knows these days most families need or can use a second income. In fact I was working up till the day before the baby was born. I just can't bring myself to put him in daycare. (I may be slightly neurotic but I can't trust strangers with my kids till they are old enough to talk to me about problems!) I can admit now I had doubts about whether having another child was the smart decision, but God knows best! I am Thankful for that. I couldn't imagine life without any of my children. Thaddeus is a gift from above and his smile, hugs, and kisses remind me every day how precious life is. (Not that my other children don't as well, but with Thaddeus it is a little different.)
That brings me to the negative of 2012. The rock bottom of my roller coaster ride. A couple weeks before the birth of Thaddeus my mom was diagnosed with ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease, and given three to five years to live. My mom went from being a hard working, outgoing, and completely self sufficient person in the beginning on 2012 to hardly being able to walk, lost the use of her arms, can no longer drive or do any self care without assistance. She spent the week before Christmas in ICU at Northwestern in Chicago. She now has a feeding tube. She can still eat foods, but not enough to maintain. This has been devastating to our family. My 15 year old sister is now home schooled to help mom during the day. My mom was her mentor but as of November mom could no longer use the computer. I took over and am now homeschooling my sister. I am also doing all my moms work at the family business. I don't really get paid for any of this. I'm not complaining about that I just wanted to mention it since I had talked about money above. Life right now is just bearable. I'm grateful my mom is still with us, but can't bear to see her suffering. So when things get completely unbearable Thaddeus give me a big kiss and reminds me that life goes on. He is my sunshine through the darkness. A gift of life from God sent at just the right time to remind me that everything happens for a reason.