Worlds Worst Mother!

It is official I am the worlds worst mother. I gave my son pizza crust. He is 8 1/2 months, and eats biter biscuits, wagon wheels, crunchies, and puffs (all from Gerber). I thought that he would be fine. I was sitting right next to him carefully watching him. I kept checking to make sure he didn't bite off a big piece.

I don't know how it happened, but it did. Some how he took a bite that was just the right size to choke him. He started vomiting. I didn't know what to do. I have had CPR classes, and am CPR certified. Nothing I learned prepared me for what happened. I didn't expect anything that happened to actually happen. I didn't know he would vomit, and he definitely didn't grab at his throat. I guess that's only for adults. I held him forward so gravity could do it's job, but other than that I froze. I was so scared I couldn't do anything.

After he stopped vomiting we thought all was ok. He never stopped breathing. I was holding him close, and feeling really bad. Then I realized he wasn't fine at all. I yelled for my husband who put his finger down Christopher's throat and discovered something in the back. Unfortunately, all he did was push it further back. During all this time he was breathing fine. So I think it was just stuck in the back of his throat.

He eventually swallowed it, and was fine. I held him close for ever, feeling horrible. Afterward he was sore for a while, but back to his usual self after about 15 minutes of resting on Mommy's lap. Even though he is fine I still feel awful. I can't believe I could have killed my son. I feel horrible. I can't let it go, and right now can't forgive myself.