Oh, where did the day go!

I got to sleep in today!  Whoo hoooo, that doesn't happen often.  The older to got up and watched tv.  Ally woke up and ate then went back to sleep!  Awesome.  But that put our entire day off balance.  Ally slept in so took a late nap.  Which put everything late.  We were gonna go to my moms to visit, but by the time we were in the car it was 5:30! We still needed to go grocery shopping!  So a quick (as quick as possible) trip to Wal-Mart was all we had time for.  We stopped at McDonald's of coarse for dinner. 

It was so nice out still when we got home I took the kids for a little walk in our neighborhood.  Where we might have lost a bottle because I can't find one!  Ally is almost 10 months and now we lose a bottle! I am so bummed.  I either dropped it somewhere or she carried it off somewhere (she's a walker now)! She also unrolled a roll of toilet paper and snuck up the stairs today.  I do have a safety gate, but my 4 year old opened it!  And they all went up!  I was close behind, but she got up 3 stairs before I realized it! 

So the kids didn't get to bed until 8:30 and it took the older two forever to fall asleep!  Now here I am blogging instead of sleeping.  I must thou!  It is my therapy, and helps me keep my sanity!  Evie remembered we were supposed to go to grandma's.  I got off the hook with maybe we can go tomorrow!  Hope she forgets I have no intention of going anywhere tomorrow! 

No sleep and going insane!

I have had less and less sleep everyday lately. The kids as well. For some reason they keep staying up later and later. They won't sleep, and they are driving me crazy. Most nights lately it has been a bedtime battle, one I always lose! I am so wore out that I can't get anything done during the day. Everything is suffering! The house is a mess, and the kids main food group is chicken nuggets! Which makes me feel worse, and that doesn't help. I just need good sleep.

It's like they are trying to drive me insane. The kids pick the time when I need sleep the most to stage a bedtime coup! How rude! I am trying so hard not to take it personally, but most nights I wanna cry "Please let mama sleep!" Even if daddy takes over they don't let me sleep. I end up with one or both of them crawling all over me! Or crying at the door as they knock repeatedly! Thanks for loving me guys, now please just let me sleep!

I am going to try to get up earlier and make the kids get up! Easier said than done. If I can get up I am going to and so are they! If not then I am definitely working on nap time. No more than a 2 hour nap and no nap after 3 pm! No matter what. Hopefully this will help or I will need a vacation in the KooKoos nest!

Trouble in paradise.

We have been trying to get the kids off bottles, binkies, and in their own beds for some time now. The problem is I want to do it the right way. The problem with that is even experts don't agree on what the right way is. So how can I find it? I don't have the slightest clue. The older the kids get (the more I drag my feet) the harder it is getting (the more I want to drag my feet). I didn't want this to be hard on anyone. I just don't know what to do or how to do it.

Everything is telling me no more bottles, no more binkies, no more sleeping in your bed, but nothing tells me how. I guess I am supposed to just take everything away and let them cry until they can't cry anymore. I can't do that. The worst thing is that it wouldn't be 2 kids crying it would be 2. I don't know how parents of twins handle that. I have always tried to keep things quiet or at least so only one is crying at a time. I try to make sure they don't wake each other up etc...

I feel like a horrible parent not knowing how to handle such simple problems. I don't know how to get my kids off the bottle. My son still wakes up at night wanting a bottle. He shouldn't be hungry but he will drink 8-16 oz during the night. It is also mixed with cereal due to his acid reflux. My daughter insists on drinking milk in a bottle and asks for it when she is tired.

I have recently begun to refuse these requests and tell her that if she wants milk she must have it in a cup. I am having a horrible time finding cups she will drink out of though! It is slowly getting better. She doesn't like it, but she is occasionally asking for milk in a cup. She has only had 3 bottles in the last 4 days compared to her usual of 2-4 a day it is a great improvement. I am making a reward chart and going to offer a sticker a day without a bottle at the end of the week a prize from the dollar store. We shall see how this works out.

I have no idea how to get rid of the binkies, but I think I will worry about that once the bottles are gone. I don't know if it matters, but according to the dentist the bottles do the most damage to their teeth so that will be the first to go. I saw an episode of supper nanny where the binkie fairy took the binkies and brought small toys. Perhaps the binkie fairy will come here. I would prefer a visit from supper nanny, but I guess I am on my own!

The other thing is I can't get my kids to sleep. I can't get them to sleep in their own beds. I can't get them to sleep without a fight. I can't get them to take naps. I can't get them to sleep through the night either! It is a battle every day and night that never ends, and then once they are asleep I dread the night wake up. My son wakes up 1-4 times. Evie has been having more nights without waking up, but not many usually she is up 1-2 times. To get them to sleep at night I lay down with them in my bed. We watch tv with little to no volume. Once Christopher is asleep he is moved out of my arms into a spot next to me in bed. When Evie falls asleep I put her into her bed. Which is next to my bed.

I just want to sleep a peaceful sleep that lasts about 8 hours! If I stay up after they fall asleep to watch tv, clean, or spend time with my husband I am usually exhausted the next day because of how much the kids wake up throughout the night! I can go a night without getting more than 1 hour of straight sleep. It is worse than having a newborn.

Time for bed, Please!

Last night I though for sure I would have my kids in bed at a descent time. I was wrong. By 9 my son fell asleep only to wake up an hour later and stay up till almost 1am. My daughter just refused to sleep. She wanted to watch tv. Each time I tried to turn off the tv she threw a fit. Since I didn't want her to disturb her brother I caved. Finally after midnight I ran out of patience. I told daddy to pic a kid and help me or else. He did and within minutes each kid was asleep. He turned off the tv and dealt with my daughters pleas, while I dealt with Christopher. So they both were able to sleep without bothering each other.

I know I need to make changes, but I don't know what to do or how to do it. Every thing tells me the way things should be, but not steps to make it happen.

I always felt this would just stop and at some magic day the kids would sleep all night. That day still has not come for either of them. I'm losing my mind. Feeling like a failure and moody from no sleep.

Depressed or sleep deprived or both?

Since the birth of my son I have been worried about my emotional state. I have been concerned about my depression. I think I have post partum depression. I do not and will not take drugs for it unless the safety of my children is in question. A lot of my problem could be due to a lack of sleep.

I have been doing some reading, attempting to find a way to get my kids to sleep better. The results have made me aware of how sleep deprived I am, and the side effects of such deprivation. Many of the side effects are similar to the symptoms of depression. So I wonder what is the case for me. Is the solution just as simple as more sleep or is the problem bigger than I am willing to admit.


You might find that we have many of these problems in common. Or you may be wondering what is the big deal, because some of these things bother everyone everyday. The problem is that all of these things are bothering me daily, and they are just getting worse. Really bad lately since my kids won't sleep and are really cranky all day long.

The worst part is when I lose my cool and feel like a horrible mommy, making everything much worse! I have yelled at my kids! Not a lot, but more than a 1 or 2 year old deserve. Some times I find myself telling them "Just stop crying." I haven't and would not hit them. However, still "My patience is gone!"


The best thing is that they don't hold a grudge usually within minutes of yelling I tell them, "Sorry mommy got so mad at you for...." Then I kiss and hug them. If I cry my oldest says, "Don't cry mommy!" They both usually give me kisses at this point. The greatest thing about kids is they can always make you smile and bring the sun out from behind the clouds!


One thing is that I wake up at the slightest sound. My daughter was laughing in her sleep, I rolled over and had to check on her. Another thing is that my imagination runs havic so I have to check my kids many times. Not every night but A LOT of nights! Most days I feel foggy and sluggish. I constantly misplace things and forget what I am doing or why I am in a room!

I feel like such a failure as a mother. Especially since my kids are getting older and still facing baby problems. Such as not sleeping, taking bottles, and binkies. I have decided the binkies will wait for bigger problems to be solved. I have also decided that bottles will wait until sleep issues are solved. I believe my kids will be more susceptible to the idea of getting off the bottle when they have had adequate sleep! Now how to do that I don't know since I can't even get enough sleep myself.

Insomnia

I can't sleep and it is killing me. I am tired, but then my head hits the pillow and I can't sleep. All day my head has been empty, but when I lay down thoughts start swimming around my in my head. What to do, what not to do, grocery lists, budgets, birthdays, the past year, the next year, and anything else that climbs in there. I spent most of the day in a tired fog, and now my head is working overtime.

I took a nap with the kids. Which now I am thinking "big mistake". I was tired until I went to lay down! I hope this helps, because it's late and I NEED sleep!

I know some of my problem is stress. I am stressed over money, marriage, life, parenting, and anything else that list doesn't cover. Actually, my marriage is doing surprisingly well. Considering that we hardly get any time to ourselves, sex is a foreign word no longer in our vocabulary. I mean we share our bed with a toddler. The most exciting thing going on in there is dodging kicks throughout the night! But we love each other and I can't imagine ever loving anyone else, or ever being without him. He's my knight in shining armor.

I am stressed over money. Especially since I don't work. I feel like I need to find ways to stretch our money as far as possible. I also feel guilty for wanting things, they cost money! I feel guilty for not working, and that my husband has to work. I don't like that he feels he has to carry the financial burden alone. I wish I could find good work at home! I don't have money to start an at home business, especially one that may not succeed!

I am stressed over the kids. They still take bottles and binkies. I don't know how to not. I give them sippies throughout the day. My son doesn't even hold his bottle most times. I know I have over parented. I can't help it. It's my job, and I am good at it. Too good in areas, and not so good in others. Neither of my kids sleep all night without a bottle or two, or three. I lay down each night with my kids until they fall asleep. I don't know how to get them to sleep any other way! We all sleep in one room. I don't know if they need their own room or not, but I am so afraid of something happening to them. Plus, for them to have their own rooms we would have to move. Something not undo-able (I don't know if that is a word!). I just don't know what to do about these things.

Time for sleep!

It's almost a perfect night. Both kids are asleep. Christopher fell asleep around 8 and Evie around 10. Now I can't sleep. I don't know why. Earlier I couldn't stay awake, but now I can't shut my eyes. I can't stop thinking about stupid stuff.

I said something really bad about someone today and I shouldn't have said it. I think that is what is bothering me. I know what I said will get back around to me. I was just mad at the time. The person I said it about has used me and taken advantage of me in the past. Not to mention she has also stolen from me. That doesn't give me a right to say anything about her. What I said was in my opinion true, but very harsh. I may have slightly over exaggerated it. The worst part is that I honestly have no right to judge her. The comment was about her parenting skills. Every one and every child is different. We all make mistakes!

That's not all that is on my mind. I feel bad because I don't work. I want things that we don't really have the money to buy. I feel like I shouldn't want them since I don't work, for money! I want to work, but I want to be here for my children! I know many women work and still have great relationships with their children. However, I remember my mom working when I was little we never saw her, and when we did she was so tired. There were fun times, but not many. I remember feeling that it was my fault she had it so rough. She was 17 when she got pregnant with me. So in my mind that was my fault. If only I hadn't come along. (Keep in mind this was the thinking of a child.) I don't want my kids to feel that way ever. Everything I do I do for them because I want to. They complete me. I couldn't function without them.

Definately not bed time!

My daughter just brought out a huge bag of mega blocks and dumped it on the floor. She is now sitting in the middle of the pile building guns and shooting me. No I do not encourage violence. She doesn't really know what she is doing. All she knows is that her favorite uncle Isaac (he's 7) builds something with the blocks and points it at people while making a swish and bang sort of noise. His rendition of a machine gun. So of coarse she copies. Either that or she is trying to kill me because sleep deprivation is taking to long! Just kidding.

I think it's time for bed...

I want to go to bed. It is almost 10pm and I know it is time for bed. However, my daughter (who unfortunately wears the pants) won't go to sleep. She keeps laughing and playing. So here I am on the Internet and she is playing next to me on her toy laptop. Everyone else is asleep and I wish I were to. We are supposed to get up early to go to Michigan. I don't know if that will happen. Mommy can't pack if she can't open her eyes. Why don't I pack tonight? Good question, I know my husband will wonder the same thing. I am to TIRED to pack.

I did discover what looks like a cool system to help me. It is the baby sleep coach system, and it sounds very interesting. I am tempted to buy it now, because it has a money back guarantee. It guarantees my kids will sleep! I can't even do that and I gave birth to them! I am just not sure if the program works with multiple kids. I emailed them and will post later regarding what they say. If it will I am gonna buy it. I need my kids to sleep, for mine and their sake.

Sleep please!

My son is up 4 or 5 times a night the past few weeks. I have no idea why. Previously, he was only up twice. I know that he is teething. He has 6 teeth now. The top four came in two at first, and before they finished coming in the other two started in.

The pediatrician says that he is in pain and that is why he can't sleep. Nothing I do seems to help. Tylenol, Motrin, teething drops, and tablets all help a little but he still wakes up crying and takes 10 to 30 minutes at least to get back to sleep. Half the time he will be asleep, but the minute I lay him down in his crib he starts crying and then sits up crying. I have to grab him because we all share a room, (My brilliant idea that has backfired) I have to get him out before he wakes up his sister. Unfortunately, for now we are stuck in a 2 bedroom apartment, and I refuse to change the toy room into a bedroom also. I like having a safe place that they can play. That way if I have to run to the bathroom I know they are ok. A bed in the mix just adds an unsafe toy for my monkeys to climb on.

So for now I am up every couple of hours all throughout the night. Complicated by nights when the kids take turns waking up. Those are the best! Add a sick mommy and you get a dangerous mix creating a sleep deprived, cranky, and judgement impaired whack-o. I can't wait for all this to pass! I don't want my kids to grow up fast I just want them to sleep all night, or most of it!

No Power!

The other night a transformer blew at one of the main substations for the entire town causing massive blackouts. It was the first time since Evie has been walking that we didn't have power. I don't know if she just sensed my frustrations, or if she was put off by the change from our normal routine.

Of coarse this had to happen during our bed time routine so both kids were having a horrible time falling asleep. Both of them just seemed cranky and wanted mommy, but their is only one of me. Usually my daughter watches cartoons while I get her baby brother to sleep. I just couldn't get him to sleep! Probably because we always have a fan on for the white noise, even I have trouble sleeping without it. It is unbelievable how quiet the world is when you don't have power. Not to mention his cranky sister wandering around making noises.

Plus, it was the hottest day of the week. It only took about 20 minutes with out the air conditioning to turn our apartment into an oven. She enjoyed looking at all the candles, which frightened me to death. All she would have to do is bump a table just right and end up burnt. I tried to make sure they were all in the safest spots possible, but kids can do anything they want if they just set their little minds to it! I kept a vigilant eye and no fires or burns thankfully.

After I get my youngest to sleep my daughter and I usually watch the Good Night Show on Sprout until 8 pm then we go to sleep. My daughter kept pointing at the TV and babbling about something. I am positive she was asking why she didn't get to watch her "toonies" what we call cartoons around here. I hope she didn't think she was being punished because she was very upset by everything that was going on. She did enjoy talking to all the neighbors about what was going on.

After two hours without power I decided to head to grandma's house thankfully they had power. So I packed up and headed out. This only made bed time harder for everyone. Christopher who normally is asleep by 7:30 didn't get to bed until 10pm. Evangeline didn't get to sleep until 11:30. I was exhausted. The air mattress was also horribly uncomfortable.

My son normally wakes up at 7 was up at 6:45, and his sister who normally sleeps in a little was up at 8. It was the morning from hell!!!! All I wanted to do was sleep, but they were wide awake. Most likely it was due to different surroundings this was the first time we had spent the night at my moms. Hopefully the last my back can't take things like that any more. Now I know not to go camping! So exhausted I hurriedly packed us up and we went home.

Never enough time!

I never have enough time in the day. There is always something I didn't do that I wanted or needed to. After a while it wears on you. Then you start to miss sleep because you are to stressed out to sleep or you are trying to catch up on things whenever you can.

Unfortunately I just get overwhelmed when I don't get enough sleep. Then every body suffers. Because then I don't get time to myself. So it becomes a trade off either catch up on sleep or have me time, guess what i pick the sleep! Sometimes no matter how tired you are you just can't sleep! Especially when your mind is bogged down with the day and all they days before. You get stuck in a cycle where time becomes your enemy. Then I end up becoming my husbands enemy, because I can be nice to the kids no matter what, but the rest of the world needs to watch out when I'm not happy.

Sleep PLEASE!!!

Last night was awful...

I'll start with my son. He was asleep by 7:30, and I thought oh what a great night this is shaping up to be. He woke up at 10 and ate 5 ounces and went back to sleep after I changed his diaper. No big deal. He woke up a 1 am and I thought, "What the heck?" But I made him a bottle, he only ate 3 ounces and I changed his diaper. He went back to sleep. Then 4 am hit and he was awake. He was wide awake and didn't fall back to sleep until between 5:15 and 5:30. Then at 7 he was up. He took a 3o minute nap at 9am. Ok, so that wasn't too bad, but combine that with my daughter and "Ouch, I'm hurting for some sleep".

My daughter's night wasn't so pleasant. She didn't fall asleep until after midnight. I tried and tried. She then was whining at 3 am. She wanted to cuddle with me, but I didn't feel good and couldn't get comfortable so every time I moved she moved. We each made the other uncomfortable every time we moved so for about an hour neither of us slept. Then when her brother woke up so did she. She tried to get out of bed but I kept yelling at her, "No, lay down it's bed time."

Finally in desperation I turned on Muzzy, the foreign language DVD set we have, both the kids love it, and laid them both down. I tried to sleep. Every 10-15 minutes my daughter would bother me and I'd just tell her no time for bed. They both fell asleep a little after 5. Around 9:30 my daughter was up for the day.

Now its tonight and we are headed down the same path. Christopher has been asleep since 8pm. Evie is tired, but won't sleep. She sleeps with me and usually I don't have such trouble. We spent the weekend at my in-laws and there it is impossible to make her sleep so we basically let her stay up until she can't any longer. That's not gonna fly here. She no longer has her own crib. I couldn't get her to sleep in it. So instead of buying a second crib her brother sleeps in hers. She is currently screaming bloody murder because I put her in the play pin and told her she has to go to bed because it is bed time. I feel absolutely awful, but don't know what else to do. I have to sleep or I'm gonna go nuts!!!!

If any one has ideas to solve our sleep dilemma I am all ears!!!!!