My angels!

My angels!

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Yes, I am alive!

I haven't posted in so long.  I feel like a long lost relative in for an awkward visit.  I don't know where to begin.  Life is crazy.  Oh, so crazy!  My mom was diagnosed with ALS in 2012.  Life has kinda spiraled out of control then taken on some crazy kind of normalcy.  It's has been an emotional journey to say the least.  I home schooled the kids last year.  That was fun.  We bought our first ever home.  That was stressful!  The kids are in a great school.  My mom is not doing well, but she is hanging in there.  I have learned to take it slow.  Or at least I know I should and I am trying to do that.  It is hard with 4 kids!  Nothing is slow in a home with 4 kids.  Thaddeus is 3.  Ally 5, Christopher 8 and Evie 9!  Evie had Lyme disease last year!  That was rough.  We hope no lasting effects remain.  That's for another post I guess.  LONG story!  Christopher is still having troubles.  Another LONG story!  Ally has her own problems too! LOL  The only one without a long story is my youngest.  And he's just such a lil sweet heart that in itself is another long story!   We are definitely full of drama in this house!  But the point is I am still here.  Taking one day at a time.  Trying my best at this parenting thing.  Some days I feel like a horrific failure and other days I think "Wow I'm rocking at this"  Well there aren't a lot of those kinda days.  But many days that I'm ok with! I have learned one major lesson in all this.  I am the luckiest lady on the planet!  I am truly blessed.  My kids are a major pain some days but everyday they are amazing!  They show me so much and teach me more than I ever thought possible.  And yeah I make tons of mistakes, but that is ok too!  My husband is irritating sometimes, but other times he is of the charts awesome!  I thank God for him!  My mom is sick but she is still here and it has brought our close family together even more.  My brothers and sisters are frustrating to say the least, but they are also the best a girl could ask for.  I love my life and am so grateful for everything God has provided.  So Yes, I am alive and kicking!  

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Lazy mom

Some days nothing gets done.  At the end of the day I sit and think, trying to figure out where the day went.  I usually have no idea.  It has ended, and nothing was accomplished.   I am greatful we are all alive and well, but I cant help feeling lazy.  When I tell my friends they always blame it on the kids.  I have my kids every day. They're  mine! So why are some days non productive and others not....I must be lazy, sometimes.  Or at least it feels that way to me.  Granted chasing a 6,5,3, and 1 year old around can be exhausting and frustrating.   However, I'm not buying into that as an excuse.  I do realize that getting things done is not as important as stopping to be silly and having fun with my monsters every now and then.  Hopefully, more often than then! So for now  Lord, give me the wisdom to know when to play, the courage to not stress out, and the strength to just let go!  Amen.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Hello world

Taking a little time out of the insanity to say hello.  I have been so busy this year.  You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I will.  I spent over half the year going to my mom's everyday.  Taking all 4 of my kids there all day everyday.   So I was taking care of them, and my mom who has lou gehrigs disease, and my brothers and sisters.  I've been homeschooling my 16 yr old sister, poorly but she's a demon.   No seriously she is.  I was doing better.  However after 2 weeks of excruciating migraines and a possible miscarriage I had to cut back.  That's why she is poorly homeschooled.  I can't do the work for her, and I've got no power over her to make her.  So I advise and that's it.  She's not doing well but I did my best.  I still help take care of my mom.  I also took over her job in the family business.  So now I am office manager for my dad's office.   I work anywhere from 20 to 40 hours a week.  And still do every thing else.  The only difference is now I have a Lil money so ever so often I pay someone to help clean.   Some days for no reason at all I feel so exhausted.   Unfortunately for now that's my life. It could be worse could be better.  I am trying my hardest not to take my children and hubby for granted. I'm trying not to miss any of the little things. I'm trying to hold it together.  Trying to be a good mom and role model.  Some days i do better than others.   Often the stress makes me yell. I don't wanna yell. Trying to get to a place where i can be proud of myself i stead of feeling like a failure.  Which I s hard to do when you set impossible goals.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Fruit for lunch

Everyday last week I sent a cutie (small orange fruit) with Evie in her lunch box.  Everyday the lunch box came home with only the peels. So today I bought more and told her I got more cuties for your lunch. She said "mom I have to tell you the truth. I don't like cuties." I reply, "but you ate one everyday!?" She said, "No, someone else did....I gave them to one of my friends!" I busted up laughing. She then added "if you want me to eat fruit you should send apples and peanut butter!" I just kept laughing!


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