My angels!

My angels!

Friday, August 29, 2008


We went to Michigan for the weekend to visit my In-Laws. When we got there Papa Chris was at the doctor's office he had a suspicious rash, which turned out to be Shingles. Shingles is a variation of Chicken Pox. Apparently once you have had Chicken Pox it remains in your system dormant until something disturbs it and causes Shingles. He was bit by a horse fly on his back. This happened to be in just the right spot over a nerve that set the virus off.

Any one who has not had Chicken Pox can get the virus from someone with Shingles, and they say to avoid pregnant women, elderly, and children under 12 months. His doctor advised him not to even be in the same room with the children. My family doctor said it wasn't a real concern unless the kids were rubbing up on him. You only get it through direct contact. My daughter has been vaccinated for varicella, but my son has not yet.

I didn't want to take any chances I took the kids and went home. I can't have both of the kids that sick at the same time. They are just to little right now. Plus, my husband had to use up all his vacation already for my C-section, my gall bladder surgery, and when my son was in the hospital for RSV and Laryngomalacia. So I would be on my own.

My mom thinks I shouldn't worry about it if they get it good. According to her this is the best time for them to get it because they are so young. She says it won't be that bad for them. I on the other hand am not so sure. I was in fifth grade when I had them, and it was horrible. As a mother I have to try to shield my kids from harm as much as possible. Hopefully they will never get chicken pox.

My husband wants me to listen to the family doctor who thinks I didn't need to leave the grandparents house. Just keep a shirt on grandpa to make sure the sores are covered, and watch that they don't seep through. They can also seep through his sweat. I just want my kids safe. I already left and don't want to chance anything. He started taking pills for it today. My plan is to go back Sunday. Maybe that will be enough time and we don't have to worry any more.

I feel really bad about the whole situation. I know they love the kids, and my kids adore them. Especially their Papa, but I can't be to careful when it comes to their safety. I know he would just be devastated if they got sick from him.

Plus, my husband has never had Chicken Pox, and is at risk to. He always gets to be the care free fun guy while I have to be the worried neurotic parent. It's not fun, but I already had a baby in Pediatric Intensive Care twice I really don't want to go there again if I can help it!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Belly Burn!

I mean that literally. I was cooking spaghetti for dinner when I got burned. I went to stir the noodles, but I stirred to hard. The spoon slid right out of the pan and bolling hot water was thrown right onto my stomach. It hurt BAD. I screamed, "Oh SH**T!" The thought of tiny ears was far from my mind at that moment.

Then the thought of tiny ones did enter my mind. Better me than either one of my kids I thought to my self as I searched the crowded freezer for an ice pack. I used my pants to hold it into place while I finished cooking and thanked God I wasn't holding one of the kids because I often do while I cook. In fact just a few minutes before this I was holding Christopher, but I had sat him down in the living room to play. He was still fussy so I don't know why I put him in the living room, but I am so glad I did. I have learned my lesson to. No kids while I cook no matter what. If they gotta scream they gotta. Its better than getting burned!

I know have a bunch of large red patches on my tummy next to my belly button, just above the stretch marks and other scars. The worst part is that even now hours later it still hurts, and it hurts to hold the kids. I don't know if I even have any thing to put on it or a bandaid big enough to cover it. That's my luck.

Funny Feet!

Evangeline has a play picnic set we got her for the summer. It has plates, cups, a cute basket, picnic cloth, and utensils. It is pink with pandas on it. I think we got it at a Wal-Mart, where else.

I was in the bed room trying to rock Christopher to sleep when I see that Evie is coming in. I think, "Oh, No!" Because how can I get him to sleep with noisy sissy in the room. However, she is taking a really long time to walk into the room. I know she is coming because I can see her shadow. I realize she is also walking really weird. I wonder what's wrong, but she isn't crying so I don't worry.

When she finally crosses the threshold into the room I almost die laughing. So much for sleeping baby brother! She has the two tiny pink cups on her feet as shoes and can hardly walk. She is determined to do it though and walks very slowly into the room taking extreme caution so she doesn't fall or loose her new shoes!

First Tooth!

Christopher dad his first tooth pop up. I noticed it Tuesday the 26th. I felt something sharp, and upon closer inspection realized you could actually see it a little bit. It is on the bottom left. I was so excited we did the "I did it dance"! We move our arms up and down as mommy sings "You did it, You did it, Yeah!" He loved the extra attention.

No wonder my happy guy hasn't been so happy lately!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Never enough time!

I never have enough time in the day. There is always something I didn't do that I wanted or needed to. After a while it wears on you. Then you start to miss sleep because you are to stressed out to sleep or you are trying to catch up on things whenever you can.

Unfortunately I just get overwhelmed when I don't get enough sleep. Then every body suffers. Because then I don't get time to myself. So it becomes a trade off either catch up on sleep or have me time, guess what i pick the sleep! Sometimes no matter how tired you are you just can't sleep! Especially when your mind is bogged down with the day and all they days before. You get stuck in a cycle where time becomes your enemy. Then I end up becoming my husbands enemy, because I can be nice to the kids no matter what, but the rest of the world needs to watch out when I'm not happy.

Binkie Enabler!

Our Pediatrician has been nagging me for months because of my daughter's attachment to her binkie. "We aren't trying hard enough to break this habit," he says. Apparently binkies cause all sorts of problems after the age of one or some where in there. They cause speech delays or other speech problems, dental problems, and ear infections.

But what about all the good they do! Ok, that part is just me being selfish. Having two kids so close together is hard work. For example how do you make a 18 month old toddler be quiet for any amount of time???? You give them a binkie!!! If the baby is asleep and Evie is being fussy I give her a binkie. If I am trying hard to get my son to sleep and he can't because his sister is making too much noise for whatever reason I give her a binkie. If I need some peace and quiet to keep my sanity in tack I give every body a binkie!

I know this will all pass and she will out grow the binkie. I have yet to see a kid in elementary school with his or her binkie still. I just don't want to rush her because I am not ready. I can't deal with the screaming.

How on earth could I get one kid to sleep when the other won't stop screaming? Not to mention the fact that at this point all it does is provide comfort for her when I can't. She will take it out and give it to me when I ask for it with little thought. At times she even says it is "Yucky". If she puts it in my mouth I spit it out and say "YUCK".

So I am trying. Just not that hard, but do you blame me. She has had some ear infections and I feel horrible, as if they are my fault for allowing her to have a binkie and bottle. I just don't really know what else to do!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Choking Hazard!

I think the biggest choking hazard my youngest child, my son, faces is his older sister. The other day I gave my daughter some of those Gerber Crunchies, the veggie dip type, in her Gerber snack bowl, the one that attempts to keep her from making a mess! She was in the living room playing and enjoying her snack. Her brother was enjoying his tummy time, any day now he is going to crawl. I ran into the kitchen, which is only 10-15 feet from the living room, just to get a glass of water.

When I hear my daughter laughing and clapping about something. She does this when she thinks or knows she has done a good job or done something good. At first I couldn't figure out what she had done. I was standing in the hall staring at them then I realized she had shared her crunchies with her brother. He had a crunchie hanging out his mouth almost like a cigarette. I screamed, and ran in the living room removing the crunchie as quickly as I could. I then explained to Evie that brother is a baby and can't have big girl food.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Frenulotomy Surgery day!

I didn't sleep well last night. I was nervous about today's surgery. All went well though. My husband was going to stay home with our daughter, but she woke up at 6:30 this morning so I thought why don't we all go. Big mistake. She was tired and cranky and bored! She did not want to sit in the stroller at all despite the toys and treats I brought with us. Almost sounds like she's a dog.

She was so cranky. We all were in the prep room. (I'm not sure the technical name for the room, but it's where you get ready for the surgery and then wait to be taken into surgery.) Christopher sat very still for all his vitals, but his sister was crying and signing "ALL DONE". It was a nightmare. Not to mention the fact that because my husband works nights he was up all night and cranky too!

Christopher was so cute in the tiny hospital gown. It's the fourth one he's been into. I actually have two from the first times he was in the hospital. This one was orange with looney tunes on it. He was in such a good mood. The entire time we waited, about an hour, he mostly played, laughed, and talked. I was nervous, but mostly worried about cranky thing one and two!

When they took him back I felt bad at first because I couldn't go. I know why, but still it is hard to be separated from your child especially when you know they are going under the knife. I sound like he had some thing major done. To catch you up he had a Frenulotomy done. The ski under his tongue comes holds his tongue down to much. It actually extends all the way to the end of his tongue. It causes eating difficulties and later speech problems. So it is best to fix it during infancy.

The procedure took probably 15 minutes. They put him under anesthesia by use of a gas mask. He wasn't under long because before they came to get me I could hear him crying. They then gave him rectal Tylenol to help with pain. They numbed the area with a local anesthetic. Then clipped the skin under the tongue back so that it is now normal. There was little bleeding, according to the doctor only a drop. He didn't even need stitches. He had a little drainage after ward, but was fine.

In recovery when I came in he was crying, but also laughing when he saw me. I felt so bad for him, but so good to be wanted that much. He stopped crying a little when I held him, but he was miserable. I got him dressed and tried to feed him. He wasn't interested in eating so since we were discharged we left. I tried to put him into the stroller, but he screamed. He just wanted to be cuddled. By the time we got into the car he was fine. He watched the DVD "Meet The Robinson's" until he fell asleep. The rest of the day he was a little crankier than usual and slept a little more, but other than that was his normal self. I alternated Tylenol and Motrin all day so he wouldn't suffer any pain.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Sleep PLEASE!!!

Last night was awful...

I'll start with my son. He was asleep by 7:30, and I thought oh what a great night this is shaping up to be. He woke up at 10 and ate 5 ounces and went back to sleep after I changed his diaper. No big deal. He woke up a 1 am and I thought, "What the heck?" But I made him a bottle, he only ate 3 ounces and I changed his diaper. He went back to sleep. Then 4 am hit and he was awake. He was wide awake and didn't fall back to sleep until between 5:15 and 5:30. Then at 7 he was up. He took a 3o minute nap at 9am. Ok, so that wasn't too bad, but combine that with my daughter and "Ouch, I'm hurting for some sleep".

My daughter's night wasn't so pleasant. She didn't fall asleep until after midnight. I tried and tried. She then was whining at 3 am. She wanted to cuddle with me, but I didn't feel good and couldn't get comfortable so every time I moved she moved. We each made the other uncomfortable every time we moved so for about an hour neither of us slept. Then when her brother woke up so did she. She tried to get out of bed but I kept yelling at her, "No, lay down it's bed time."

Finally in desperation I turned on Muzzy, the foreign language DVD set we have, both the kids love it, and laid them both down. I tried to sleep. Every 10-15 minutes my daughter would bother me and I'd just tell her no time for bed. They both fell asleep a little after 5. Around 9:30 my daughter was up for the day.

Now its tonight and we are headed down the same path. Christopher has been asleep since 8pm. Evie is tired, but won't sleep. She sleeps with me and usually I don't have such trouble. We spent the weekend at my in-laws and there it is impossible to make her sleep so we basically let her stay up until she can't any longer. That's not gonna fly here. She no longer has her own crib. I couldn't get her to sleep in it. So instead of buying a second crib her brother sleeps in hers. She is currently screaming bloody murder because I put her in the play pin and told her she has to go to bed because it is bed time. I feel absolutely awful, but don't know what else to do. I have to sleep or I'm gonna go nuts!!!!

If any one has ideas to solve our sleep dilemma I am all ears!!!!!

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Whats wrong with my baby????

My son has been diagnosed with Acid Reflux, GERD, from the age of 2 months. We have always tried to keep him upright especially after eating. I have always thickened his formula with cereal. We tried medication, but it didn't seem to work. Not that long ago my son developed these horrific screaming episodes. He would just scream until he fell asleep. Sometimes he would be hungry but would refuse to eat. He would arch his back and tighten up his body like he was in pain. The screams were like nothing I had ever heard from him, and often they would last as long as a half hour.

At first the doctor said it sounded like colic. We tried gas drops, and gripe water with little relief. I tried Tylenol and Motrin with still no signs of relief. I took him to see our family doctor, he usually sees the pediatrician. Again he said what I was describing sounded like colic, but he commented that my son was past the age you generally see colic. I was not convinced and not happy with what I considered a diagnosis of convenience. It seemed to fit so that's what they called it. I wanted to know exactly what was wrong.

The doctors told me not to worry he was thriving and doing well. That is fine and I was very thankful for that especially after all he has been through. However, the screaming episodes were increasing. Each episode seemed to increase in intensity. My son was clearly in pain, and suffering needlessly. I was furious with my doctors, and family for not taking this serious. No one who can talk would be made to suffer so much pain so why is it OK for my baby!!!!

He was spitting up more often and the spit up would stink with a horrific acidic smell. You just knew that it had to burn coming up. I asked the pediatrician at his 6 month check up. He said that with GERD my son would have heartburn, and now that he is older he would experience the pain more. He explained the smell of the spit up was due to being partly digested and therefore was completely normal. However, he didn't tell me what to do or give him any thing for it. I was let down again. Anyone who has had heartburn knows it is not pleasant at all.

He had a couple episodes at my mom's house. She acted like it was no big deal. My youngest brother had GERD and according to her did the same. She said it sounded like gas and told me to hold him, burp him, comfort him, and if that didn't work put a warm cloth on his belly. I was angry she didn't take it serious at all either. I know he is going to live, but he doesn't need to suffer.

Finally, one weekend we were at my in laws and my son was having a particular bad day. They did take it serious and sympathized with me. I call the doctor and insisted they at lease give him a prescription for his acid reflux. If that is whats causing the problem then he needs something. We have been trying it for a couple weeks and he's doing better.

I also restarted introducing solids. He has had bananas and prunes only for the past 10 days. I also realized that when we moved to the crib he was no longer sleeping elevated. Prior to that he was in his car seat which I kept in the bassinet next to my bed. So I put a wedge under his mattress and now he sleeps at a 30 degree angle. I also try to feed him more often so he never goes hungry. The pediatrician recommended this to reduce heartburn. I am also still using gas drops, Tylenol, Motrin, teething tablets, and lots of love. He has had less and less episodes, and seems to be doing much better.

Unfortunately, I don't have a specific diagnosis. I am just doing all I can. I really would like someone to say this is exactly what is wrong, no doubt about it.

Friday, August 15, 2008


A few months ago we were told that our son had a problem with his tongue. The tissue under the tongue that holds it down is to prominent. We were told not to worry, and that we would just watch to see if it caused any problems. My husband and I thought he was a very silly baby because he always has his tongue sticking out, and has done so almost since birth. Now that he is older he constantly makes raspberry noises as well.

Since he has been able to sit up, with assistance, we have been trying to spoon feed him and are having tons of problems. He spits almost all the food out. I know that he needs to learn to eat with a spoon, but it seems like he is trying and just can't. His tongue just pushes the food out. It seems only every once in a while would he actually really be able to take a bite.

Looking back to when he was a newborn I had attempted to breast feed him, but with little success. For one thing it was really painful. I just thought I was doing something wrong. He was also really noisy, and that scared me. We later found out that he was so noisy due to a throat condition he had called Laryngomalacia. Also, breast feeding takes up a lot of time, and my daughter was to young to understand why this baby was getting all Mommy's attention. So to my disappointment I quit breast feeding.

Now my son is set up to have surgery this coming Thursday. He is having a Frenulotomy. Which is the surgical detachment of a frenum. The skin under your tongue that holds your tongue down. His comes all the way out to the end of his tongue. If this is not done he will continue to have eating problems, develop speech problems, and when he has teeth the skin can and probably will get stuck between his teeth.

The procedure seems relatively simple. He will be put under anesthesia, but only by a gas mask. All they will do is cut back the tissue as close as they can get to being right underneath his tongue. He may not even bleed. Apparently this procedure has been done since the 18th century when midwives would just use a sharp nail at birth to separate the tissue. None the less as a parent I am still nervous for my son, and praying that all is well.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

The emergency room.

Everyone hates to go to the emergency room. However, the worst things always happen at night. They either get worse at night or begin at night. So what do you do. As a parent you and I both know it is torture to wait until the doctors office open when we know our children are suffering.

My son is clearly in pain this evening and I have no idea why. It looks like gas pain, but I can't get it to go away. He has Acid Reflux and that in itself can be painful. I don't know what to do. I was literally in tears earlier holding him, because I could just feel how much he was suffering, but I didn't know what to do. I couldn't do anything but hold him. I feel so worthless to him. I want to take him to the ER, but I also know it is not life threatening, or I believe it's not. That doesn't make the situation any easier. He is 6 months and clearly in a lot of pain.

He's grunting and tightening up his entire body. His temp is 100.9. And he keeps lurching like he is going to vomit, but doesn't. Sometimes it sounds like something came up but he swallowed it. His eyes were watering like he was crying from the pain. I kept trying to burp him, but it didn't seem to help. I gave him gas drops, his acid reflux med, tried to feed him, and gave him Tylenol. He finally fell asleep. I want to take him to the ER, but at the same time I really don't. Nobody wants to sit for hours and hours unless you truly have to .

I know when your supposed to go to the emergency room, but it is hard to watch someone so little suffer. Since he's resting I will wait, but if he isn't able to sleep due to it then we will be off to the hospital. I am really afraid he will vomit in his sleep, and I won't hear him. He's only 5 feet from my bed, but I am still worried. Thank God he is still on his apnea monitor. If he wasn't I would probably be at the hospital already. Because of the machine I know his heart rate and breathing are OK. Hopefully he can rest until the morning then see the doctor.

What more than likely will happen is that he will have an unpleasant night, but be fine when I finally get him in front of the doctor. Which will then make me appear totally insane, but I am used to that. Every since my son spent most of March in the hospital, and half of that in the Pediatric Intensive Care unit, I have rushed him to the pediatrician for every cough, sneeze, and fever. I am not taking any thing for granted. The time he spent in the hospital were some of the worst days of my life!

Life insurance???? Any answers....

I know we should get life insurance on our kids just because. I try to talk to my husband about it and he says he doesn't want to think about it. I don't even think we have life insurance for ourselves. He takes care of all that. My mom has 50,000 on me still.

I was thinking that we should look into getting some type of policy that would have a cash value when the kids are older. So if they wanted to or maybe had their own policies they could cash in this one for college or a down payment on a house. Are there policies out there that don't cost a fortune, but would yield a large cash value after 20 or 30 years? What is a good company to talk to? I am completely naive when it comes to things like this. That is why I have my husband, but unfortunately even when I approach it from this angle he doesn't want to talk about it. He has a hard time when ever the concept of death is even mentioned. I don't blame him, but you still have to be smart. I say plan for the worst and hope for the best!

Family Drama....

I haven't been able to post much lately because I have been exhausted. My cousin and her 19 month old son are staying with us, in our two bedroom apartment. Her husband kidnapped her son and wasn't going to give him back. Apparently since they are married its not called kidnapping and he was totally within his rights to do so. She finally got possession of her son and called the police. Since he was being violent, and has a history of violence they let her keep her son. He was already arrested once for spouse abuse. She filled a restraining order and was granted temporary custody. However, now she has no where to go. She is in the processes of filling for medicaid and WIC and food stamps. She has also called for legal aid. Get this they are going to call her back at a scheduled time for an on the phone interview to see if she qualifies then if she does, which she should, they will set her up with an attorney. But they aren't going to call her back until the 29th of this month. That is crazy. I guess you need money and lots of it to get any real help these days.

She was given a court order for the restraining order, temporary custody, and to get her possessions from the house. When she went to the house with an officer. Her husband refused to let her in. He should have been arrested, due to the court order. The officer told her he didn't want to get into a fight over clothes. He told her she needed to go to the court house with the police report he filed and get a court order. She believed him and did as he said. At the court house they were horribly rude and told her she had a court order, and then highlighted the area to show the officer. It did say that the officer was to escort her onto the premises to get her and the baby's stuff, and if her husband didn't comply he was to be arrested. So either the officer was an idiot or just plain lazy. Either way look at what we have serving and protecting us. That's so reassuring!!!

Why am I involved? If the same thing happened to me I would hope that people would help me. I couldn't imagine not having my kids for a day!

Am I stupid?

Last night I opened the refrigerator at 10 pm looking for a snack for my 17 month old daughter who through sign language told me she wanted to eat. She grabbed a pack of pork chops and while handing them to me did the sign for eat. So what did mommy do? She cooked pork chops at 10pm. We had already eaten dinner around 8, which is late for us. Since she didn't eat much due to all the excitement I was concerned and wanted to make sure she had enough to eat. We had a crazy day that completely threw us off our normal routine. We ended up at my mom's for dinner where she has 5 yorkies most of them are tiny puppies, and my 6 year old brother, 8 year old sister, 11 year old sister plus her friend, my cousin and her 19 month old son, my kids, me and my husband, my parents, and my 26 year old sister were all there. Evangeline was totally fired up and wouldn't or couldn't really sit still to eat. I kept giving her bites of green beans, corn, or chicken when ever I could catch her.

Anyways I busted out the George Foreman and cooked those pork chops. It only took about 10 minutes all together. Can you guess her reaction when I tried to give them to her? She was cuddled up on the couch with daddy watching cartoons. I came in and showed them to her. She whinnied and rolled over towards daddy so I couldn't see her face or anything. Daddy even tried to feed her a bite. "Nope" she wasn't having it. She decided now she just wanted milk. Knowing she was hungry, but to tired I made her a smoothie, sort of. I mixed 4 oz of milk with a container of banana and mixed berries second foods from Gerber. So at least she had something good. Mean while any body hungry for pork chops. Can you say, "Sucker"!

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