My angels!

My angels!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Mad, but not mad!

Ok, I am mad. I don't think I should be mad, but I am. Today after work (he works nights) my husband went out with the guys for a few drinks. This is not the problem. He should go out every once in a while. The problem is well it is a couple of things.

First he didn't call me to tell me he was going out until he was already out. Not to mention I received the call 2 hours after he was supposed to be home from work. Yes, I was starting to worry. He said he had a meeting, went to the bank, and called me when he got to the bar. He didn't have a phone with him so he had to borrow a buddies phone. Fine.

Why didn't you call before you left work? I don't know. Plus, he called me not on the house phone, but on my cell. Which he knows that I usually don't answer when at home! I felt like he was being a sneaky kid. Trying to get the voice mail and leave a message so I couldn't or wouldn't yell. He said, "It was the first number I thought of!" Ok, fine. I'm not in the habit of calling him a liar, so I accepted this shaky argument!

My second problem with hubby's day out is that he was out until 2pm. No big deal you say! Well his 2pm is a normal persons 2am. Think about that! On top of that we only have 1 car so the kids and I were stuck at home all day. Again, no big deal. I did have places I wanted to go, but nothing really important. I wanted us to go as a family. That's not entirely true I would have gone with my sister if she had come into town. She was to tired, she's the one with the newborn!

I am more jealous than mad I guess. So mostly these are excuses to be mad. I could never go out for any length of time without the kids. I wouldn't have fun. I would be driven crazy by visions of horrible things that may or may not happen. As if they wouldn't happen if I were there. I hardly ever go or do anything without the kids and when I do I feel naked! I know that doesn't sound right, but having my kids with me is so normal just like getting dressed! It's just what I do! I wouldn't have things any other way, though. I don't ever want to miss anything in either of my kids lives. I really feel like hubby misses out on too much! You can never get these days back, once they are gone they are gone. Kids grow up so fast!

So I am mad, but I am not mad. I know hubby works hard to support us and deserves some outlet. I don't approve of the bar with his buddies. It is not my cup of tea, but that really isn't my place to judge. Or is it? I guess there are worse and more expensive things he could do. Plus, he hardly ever goes out. I am trying to cut him some slack. I just don't think he should go when I can't. I don't feel comfortable leaving the kids with anyone for a long time, and if I did I would go some where with him, not by myself. Maybe I need to! I guess the problem is more me than if is him! Bummer! Again, these are probably some of my postpartum issues that have yet to be addressed.

1 comment:

Cara said...

I 100% understand the back & forth of "yes, you deserve time out with your friends, have fun!" & "NO FAIR! I want my time out too" or "I want to spend time out with you" etc. Although we're not limited by only having 1 car, I don't go do much during the day b/c (I know you get it!) it's hard to wrestle, er wrangle, er handle, two little ones all by yourself! I'm guilty of giving The Doctor guilt when he wants to go out with friends rather then do something with us or just hang out at home because he works 9-7 (normally 4 days a wk but lately 6 days), so he leaves at 8:45, gets home in between 7:15-7:30 & the kids are in bed by 8:30 at the latest. I hope you get some time for yourself soon!


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