Bad mommy!

I must be an awful parent. I can't seem to get right some of the simplest things. I can't get my kids to sleep without a fight. I can't even get them to sleep all night. I don't know if other people have these problems or not. It seems like they don't. At their age both the kids should be sleeping around 12 hours straight at night. Everything I've read says there is no need for them to have a bottle during the night either. Apparently they didn't read that article!

People tell me to just put them in bed and let them cry. That crying doesn't hurt them. But they don't just cry. They scream like they are petrified. They have tears and snot streaming down their faces, and cry so badly. I can't do that to them. It is too traumatic. I can't believe that other people could or would do that. It seems horrible. Know that is just my opinion, and I am not an expert. I am only a mom!

I can't get my kids of the bottle or binkie either. My mom constantly harps me. Evie is over 1 and doesn't need a bottle, and now I hear it about Christopher he will be 1 soon. Why does 1 have to be the magic number? Can't 2 or 3 be that number. I know why it has been hard on Evie, she sees her brother with a bottle everyday. Now I've got to get them both off the bottle. I am trying to offer sippy cups throughout the day. They don't really drink out of them much. Christopher doesn't appear to lift the cup up enough to even get a drink without help. That is my fault to I've always held his bottle instead of making him do it. He can, but he gets distracted and stops. So I just always fed him.

These things seem so simple. However, they seem to be the hardest to solve. In theory everything in the parenting books sounds so easy, but the reality is not so straight forward. Lay your baby down awake so he/she learns to self soothe. Yeah, right. Until the moment you lay them down and they scream and scream. Like your not going to pick up that baby.

I just feel like somewhere or some how I did everything wrong. Because nothing seems to work the way it is supposed to. My kids are very loving, independent, and outgoing so something is working. I am thankful for that. It just seems like the simpler things elude me some how. I went to the library and checked out as many parenting books as I could carry. I didn't have time to look at them at the library. With both the kids I was glad they were quiet long enough for me to grab the books I got. So I checked them out and maybe they will help. If not the library has a couple of shelves with parenting books still on them! So we will see.