My angels!

My angels!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Topher, Sensory Integration Disorder, Update

Well I am so upset.  Topher aged out of first steps.  A government program where he was getting weekly Occupational therapy OT, Developmental therapy DT, speech therapy, and twice a month psych visits.  I wasn't worried at the time because I thought he would go to developmental preschool through the local school system.  Well they said he doesn't qualify "he's to smart!".  What the heck does being smart have to do with needing special help or not?  He still needs help.  I honestly think the teacher just didn't want to deal with him, but I can't prove it.  So the doctor wants him to get OT and DT privately.  He does need it, but it will cost me 40.00 a week plus gas.  I can't really afford that, but can we afford for him not to go? 

He's a very good kid, but different. It's often like he doesn't even hear you talk to him or can't process it.  Sometimes he is so wild and out of control, and other times he just wants to lay around and watch tv all day!  Sometimes he is loving and polite.  Other times he is demanding, rude, loud, obnoxious, and will cry if you touch him.  You never know what your gonna get.  He still has melt downs quite frequently, and often without any warning.  He has gotten better with his sisters.  He will slide on the floor into Ally (she's 9 months) knocking her over like a bowling pin.  He will hug her (squeezing quite hard) then twist and they both fall to the floor.  He squeezes her face (this usually doesn't hurt her but she doesn't like it either).  It's like he can't not touch her. 

It just seems to be always something. He is truly exhausting (on the bad days).  Other days he is the sweetest boy on the planet.  It is almost insane how fast his moods can change!  He is also extremely difficult to discipline, and I absolutely hate to spank him. When we had kids we decided we didn't want to spank our kids, and I feel like a failure for having done so at times.  A couple times it was a reaction. 

He has kicked me in the face so hard during diaper changes that he has given me migraines, these were on accident he is extremely sensitive genitalia.  He often can't stand to be even touched with a wet wipe for cleaning or even putting ointment on.  But He doesn't seem to get the message if he has to pee until afterwards so potty training has been a bust.  He will also sit in a wet diaper until it leaks.  I have to check him frequently and even when he's wet he will deny it! 

Once he was extremely hyper for whatever reason and accidentally knocked me out.  I was sitting on the couch.  He had both hands on the couch and was jumping up and down.  I was talking to him, but he didn't seem to notice.  Usually, when he does this I grab his shoulders and make eye contact.  I tried he jumped and hit me in my temple.  Everything went dark and I crumbled to the ground.  I opened my eyes, and I was crying with a horrific headache.  It took a minute to realize what happened.  Evie was standing over me very upset and worried about me.  Topher was laughing.  I yelled so bad it scared him "Go to your room!"  He ran to his room.  Thank God, because I have never hurt my kids, but I knew if I spanked him at that moment we would all have been in trouble.  I needed a few moments alone. 

He is very smart and at 3 tested for speech at a 5year old level. He has very advanced pretend play.  He can't grasp emotions of others.  He doesn't get consequences for things.  He does what he wants or needs to in that moment with no thought for the future.  He lines his cars up all through my house, and does other bizarre things when he plays.  He doesn't usually get mad if I move the cars.  It depends on why I moved them and if he agrees with my reasons for moving them.  If he thinks he needs to do something you have to let him do it even if he can't.  For example if he wants to open the door, you have to let him try, and wait for him to ask for help.  Otherwise he will have a full tantrum, and its not worth it!

Life with my son is hard to explain because he is a very good kid.  He just doesn't get it.  He just can't control himself.  He is just Topher. 

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