My angels!

My angels!

Monday, March 30, 2009

Trouble in paradise.

We have been trying to get the kids off bottles, binkies, and in their own beds for some time now. The problem is I want to do it the right way. The problem with that is even experts don't agree on what the right way is. So how can I find it? I don't have the slightest clue. The older the kids get (the more I drag my feet) the harder it is getting (the more I want to drag my feet). I didn't want this to be hard on anyone. I just don't know what to do or how to do it.

Everything is telling me no more bottles, no more binkies, no more sleeping in your bed, but nothing tells me how. I guess I am supposed to just take everything away and let them cry until they can't cry anymore. I can't do that. The worst thing is that it wouldn't be 2 kids crying it would be 2. I don't know how parents of twins handle that. I have always tried to keep things quiet or at least so only one is crying at a time. I try to make sure they don't wake each other up etc...

I feel like a horrible parent not knowing how to handle such simple problems. I don't know how to get my kids off the bottle. My son still wakes up at night wanting a bottle. He shouldn't be hungry but he will drink 8-16 oz during the night. It is also mixed with cereal due to his acid reflux. My daughter insists on drinking milk in a bottle and asks for it when she is tired.

I have recently begun to refuse these requests and tell her that if she wants milk she must have it in a cup. I am having a horrible time finding cups she will drink out of though! It is slowly getting better. She doesn't like it, but she is occasionally asking for milk in a cup. She has only had 3 bottles in the last 4 days compared to her usual of 2-4 a day it is a great improvement. I am making a reward chart and going to offer a sticker a day without a bottle at the end of the week a prize from the dollar store. We shall see how this works out.

I have no idea how to get rid of the binkies, but I think I will worry about that once the bottles are gone. I don't know if it matters, but according to the dentist the bottles do the most damage to their teeth so that will be the first to go. I saw an episode of supper nanny where the binkie fairy took the binkies and brought small toys. Perhaps the binkie fairy will come here. I would prefer a visit from supper nanny, but I guess I am on my own!

The other thing is I can't get my kids to sleep. I can't get them to sleep in their own beds. I can't get them to sleep without a fight. I can't get them to take naps. I can't get them to sleep through the night either! It is a battle every day and night that never ends, and then once they are asleep I dread the night wake up. My son wakes up 1-4 times. Evie has been having more nights without waking up, but not many usually she is up 1-2 times. To get them to sleep at night I lay down with them in my bed. We watch tv with little to no volume. Once Christopher is asleep he is moved out of my arms into a spot next to me in bed. When Evie falls asleep I put her into her bed. Which is next to my bed.

I just want to sleep a peaceful sleep that lasts about 8 hours! If I stay up after they fall asleep to watch tv, clean, or spend time with my husband I am usually exhausted the next day because of how much the kids wake up throughout the night! I can go a night without getting more than 1 hour of straight sleep. It is worse than having a newborn.


Cara said...

I found this post via the Baby Bunching website. I so understand what you are going through.

We are currently in the binky battle at my house. My 2 are 15 1/2 months apart. My little girl will be 2 in 2 months & still wants her bink ALL the time. We've managed to cut it down to naptime/bedtime but are still struggling to get rid of it at those times.

It's hard to tell her that no, she can't have it when baby brother has his constantly.

Best of luck to you & I hope you find something that works.

Ryan & Lois said...

Came here via Baby Bunching too. My two are 15 months apart, and if it makes you feel better, we got rid of pacis when they oldest was 3 and his little brother had just turned 2. I figured I'd do them both at once. It wasn't too bad, we mailed them to Grammy and she mailed them back, each a "big boy" present. My 3 year old had an easier time, and my 2 year old asked for his "boom" a few nights, but it was quickly forgotten. They even had a newborn sister who was using one at the time. I cant help with bottles, because I breastfed, and weaned them both by 11 months because they were biting me. They had no choice! :) Good luck.

Emily said...

Hi. I am here via baby bunching too!
That's tough...I really feel for you! My kids are 4, 2, and 6 months. As far as the night waking goes...when I was ready for them to sleep through the night, I started asking my husband to go in their instead of me...that really made a difference. When they realized that their food source was no longer around they ended up just going back to sleep and then eventually staying asleep. You might start by putting less in the bottle than you normally do and gradually decreasing the amount until he just gets a sip at night.
As far as the bed thing goes I don't have too much advice. But since your daughter will sleep in her bed once she falls asleep, you might try moving it to her room and putting her there once she's asleep. Then starting doing the bedtime routine in there, before letting her fall asleep in your bed. And just gradually make the transition. At two she will be able to understand reason more and more which should make the transition easier.
With both the night waking and the bed, if you are consistent and take small steps it will work!! Have faith, sister! =)
As far as the paci...well, my two year old still has hers and bed and night. She will sometimes use it around the house too. The biggest rule is it never leaves the house. This is another thing that I will take away as she gets older and can reason. My son was 2.5 when I took it away and just had a few nights wanting it but basically did OK...and I' really think it was because of his age.
I hope this helps!! Good luck to you!! Don't stress too much...despite what it may feel like, your crew won't go to kindergarten with a bottle and paci after waking up in your bed!!
Oh, and your kids are adorable!!

Heidi said...

I can't help with the bottle problem (my kids love sippy cups) or the beds, but I can give you advice on the binkies.

My son was 2.5 when (just after a vacation - don't try this when there are other complications in your life) I decided to break him of his devotion to his "plug". He was already down to using it just at nap/bed time. I cut just the tip of each pacifier, with the intention of cutting off a little more each day until there was so little for him to chew on, he'd have to hold the thing in his mouth with his hand. I'd read somewhere that this is more effective because it is a gradual process and eventually they won't want to hold the darn thing in. Well, day one, I cut the tips off (and you must do this to all of them or you'll be tempted to give in) and handed him one at nap time. He put it in his mouth, looked confused, pulled it out, looked at it and handed it back (he wasn't very verbal, but the look said "what the heck?!") I let him pick another one from the container. He tried each one in turn, gave me the proverbial "withering glance" and tromped off to bed - completly plugless. I had expected weeks of weaning and it lasted 5 minutes.

My daughter, on the other hand, sucks two fingers and has since the day she was born. She's now two and I'm at a loss on how to get her to quit (pacifier method doesn't work with fingers!) My 4 month old keeps trying to suck his thumb and each time I catch him, I stuff in a plug because I know how to curb that urge.

Good luck!


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