My angels!

My angels!

Friday, April 1, 2011

The Crazy Lady Got Out!

I am losing my mind. Tonight I got so frustrated at the kids I yelled so loud my throat hurt.  After that I told them "mommy needs a time out!  Watch your movie, and do not fight!" Then I left the room.  I was and am so upset with myself.  I am so impatient these days.  I don't know who I am sometimes.  It seems like there is so much going on I can't focus and can't remember things.  It is driving me crazy.  Plus, add in kids screaming all day!  It's enough to make you lose it. 

I told them I was sorry and we decided they would be good and I wouldn't yell tomorrow. I didn't even realize I was yelling till after I did it!  I just don't want to be like my mom she always yelled and never listened.  At the same time I don't want my kids to think they can talk their way out of listening to me. If that makes sense.

 I just feel so bad.  This isn't who I wanted to be as a parent.  I didn't want to yell or spank my kids.  I wanted to be the nice mom that listens and always knows what to say and how to handle things!  I'm just not sure I know how to be her!  I guess the fact that I realize this and I want to correct it has to be a step in the right direction.  I think I am just overwhelmed.  That's why I am blogging again.  This is something for me and my sanity! I need it back! 

I just don't know what to do for discipline and punishments.  Topher doesn't respond to much.  He either laughs at me if I spank him or shuts down.  Time outs are also very challenging.  He is definitely a full time job.  Often watching him alone is very exhausting.  Evie is to smart.  She talks back and can be very nasty.  She refuses to clean up anything.  Ally is just a baby, getting into everything and everywhere!  I am stuck in the middle maintaining the peace, keeping everyone healthy, and at the same time trying to have a clean house as well.  Maybe I am just chasing the impossible and need to lower some of my expectations here.  A person can only do so much. 

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