Binky update

My oldest Evangeline will be 4 in March.  She is finally binky free and has been for over a month.  I still have her binkys!  I don't know why.  I won't let her have them.  She doesn't even know I have them.  I tried to throw them away.  But I ended up standing over the trash can holding them unable to toss them in!  I have no idea why.  So they are hidden in a small cabinet over the stove tucked safely in the back corner.  To prevent anyone from accidentally discovering them.  I know its probably ridiculous but I can't bring myself to toss em yet. 

baby update

I figured while I'm on here I'd let the world know how the baby is doing!  Ally has laryngomalacia like her brother and has to be on an apnea monitor when she sleeps.  She is doing great and growing like a weed.  She will be 6 months on the fourth, but is in 9month clothes!  She is trying so hard to crawl so it won't be long before she is mobile.  She gets on all four and rocks back and forth.  She even crawls a lil bit, and thrusts herself forward.  She can get to anything she sets her mind to though!  She is so smart and you can tell she's always thinking! She loves to watch her brother and sister, and they love her to.  Sometimes a little to much!  Topher gets to rough.  Most of the time it is because they don't understand, and occasionally there is a little jealousy!  Not much though we try hard to give them each attention and love! 

We have started to offer her a sippy cup and feeding with a spoon.  She does really good!  She loves sweet potatoes.   She hated the peas.  She has also tried carrots, bananas, peaches, rice, and oatmeal.  She still only gets breast milk.  I am hoping to make it a year.  I don't want to pump anymore and will quit sometime next month.  However, I have a lot frozen!  So keep your fingers crossed. 

She hasn't been sick yet but has a runny nose that just started so well see.   She did have a cough for a long time, but the doctor said it was due to her GERD (acid reflux).  She takes 2 medications for the GERD and gets rice cereal in her milk. It seems to help but she still spits up a lot.  Worse when I forget her medications.  It's hard cause she gets one four times a day.  I feel bad when I forget, and really there is no excuse.  But if you ask I've got a million of them!

blogging

I don't blog much anymore.  Obviously,  I just don't have the time.  Our computer is upstairs in our bedroom and we don't have a wireless router.  So in order to get online I have to go upstairs in our bedroom.  Imagine me in my room online while my 3 monsters run a muck in my room!  I'd rather not.  When I do have time (when they finally are asleep) I either catch up on cleaning or spend much needed time with my hubby.  Which is slowly bringing our marriage back from the brink of total destruction.  I never realized how much work goes into a healthy relationship, that is until I decided mine was worth the work! 

Wish I could get on here more if only for my sanity.  Maybe I'll make a wireless router a Christmas necessity!  Plus, I just saw this show about the coupon mom who shops and barely spends a dime cause of coupons?  How does she do it? I need this lady to teach me her secrets cause I don't get it.  Usually the coupons I find are for the more expensive brands and even with the coupon I spend more.

Are you ready for some football!

I don't know what to title this one! Maybe Help Please I'm Crazy!

I'm just having one of those days. The past few weeks have been rough. I'm tired all the time, and I have no idea why. I'm getting the same (if not more) sleep, but I am suddenly finding myself super tired. I went to the doctor and had blood work done. My vitamin d was low and I had a liver marker (idk what that means, but they said to watch it). Otherwise everything else they checked was OK.

I'm irritable and less patient than normal. At first I thought I might be pregnant again, despite birth control pills (which I take religiously LOL). Now I have no idea. I feel horrible for loosing my patience with my kids. I feel even worse for being crazy towards my hubby. Oh, yeah forgot to mention that part. I am delusional. I constantly think he is either cheating on me or just no longer in love with me. To the point that I ask almost weekly if he wants me to leave, and daily if he is sure he loves me. I'm sure he isn't cheating on me, but that doesn't mean he won't (there I go again). If he isn't with me acting like this he is bound to! So why am I pushing him away!

I need a straight jacket and a weekend in the loony bin! I constantly forget things. Or just don't do them because I'm tired. I set myself up to fail by trying to do to many things in the day! I know it's not possible, but I am still upset with myself for not completing them.

This week I have no idea where the days are even going. I wake up next thing I know its night time, and I didn't get anything done! I have no idea what I do all day! It's all a giant blurr! If it weren't for me writing everything on the calendar I'd have no idea what we did or even what day it is!

I'm so out of control of everything including myself right now and it is totally freaking me out. Worst of all I have no one to talk to about it. Therefore I have no way of figuring this out! Other than buckling down and waiting for the storm to pass, whenever that might be!

Oh, I am completely open to any advise! Cause I got nothing here!

Breast milk is Breast milk

My daughter is feed breast milk... through a bottle. I don't know why that's such a big deal, but I always feel the need to explain myself to people. They look at me like I am crazy. The way I see it at least she is getting breast milk! Because of her medical conditions (laryngomalacia and Acid Reflux) I want to do all I can to protect her from illness. But I can't keep her in a bubble! She has 2 older siblings, a 2 year old and 3 year old! Neither of which could tell you what a germ is, and proper hygiene to them is a joke! I can't control everything, but I can control what my baby eats and what I eat! So to give her the best start I pump and she eats! I didn't and don't have time to nurse, and my 2 ego centric children didn't understand why baby was getting all mama's attention! So please give me a high five for my efforts not a puzzled look! I deserve that much at least!

our latest pics!

Growing pains

Evie has gone through some major changes over the past month. First she lost her binkie. We had been telling her for a long time to leave it in her bed so she wouldn't lose it. Every time I had to search the house for it I swore it would be the last. Finally one day she lost it and we couldn't find it. So she went without. I found it a few days later, but put it up. She has been binkie free 3 or 4 weeks now. Its been a little bumpy, but not to bad.

She still asks for her binkie every once in a while, and if you ask her if she needs one she will say "yes". However, she no longer cries for it, that only lasted the first day or so. She does talk A LOT! I mean it she talks and talks and talks now. I had no idea she was such a talker. Some nights we can't fall asleep cause all you can hear is her little voice talking away!

She also started throwing tantrums. She had mini ones before, but nothing compared to these new ones. I mean she will kick, scream, cry, and yell. It is horrific. I finally just started putting her into bed every time, and I tell her she can get out when she is done. Usually she is out with in a minute or two and is her normal self. I think some of the crying is because she doesn't sleep as much as before. I think that is because she's adjusting to life without the binkie. She hardly ever takes a nap anymore either.

She has also started wanting to be a baby. She has always worn diapers at night, even though she is potty trained. However, now many times she asks to wear a diaper during the day. She used to take diapers off and use the potty when she was awake, but many times now she just goes in the diaper. She doesn't do it all the time, but when she does she says "I a baby!" She has also started a squeaky talk that she says is her baby talk. Were not giving it to much attention, but it is annoying.

If anyone has any advice on these undesired behaviors I am all ears.

fighting

The fighting between my kids never stops. Many times Evie is simply the victim of Topher's inability to control his impulses, and understand what hurts and what is play. However, on occasion Evie has instigated the fight herself. Whether she is just getting pay back or deciding to take control of a situation herself she has gotten herself into a fair number of scuffles.

For instance tonight I ran to her aide, and quickly grabbed Topher off her back before he had a chance to bite into her. I had to then chase him before I could put him into time out (which doesn't work, but gives Evie the feeling that justice has been served). On my way with him to time out Evie said, "I take his binkie!" Which is a big "No No!" Even for mommy.

I asked, "Why did you take his binkie?"

Her response made me bite my tongue to keep from laughing. She matter of factly said, "I take his binkie. He naughty, I take his binkie!"

I could not believe it, and once I was sure I would not laugh or show her my smile. I very seriously said, "Mommy is the boss. If he is naughty tell mommy, and I will take binkies if they need taking!"

For now I am the boss, but she is so independent I know it won't last for long.

Topher, Sensory Integration Disorder, Update

As you may know that my son Christopher was diagnosed with sensory integration disorder earlier this year. He has occupational therapy, developmental therapy, and behavior therapy once a week for an hour each. However, he doesn't seem to be improving. He's getting more aggressive as he gets older. He doesn't seem to mean to hurt people, and doesn't understand when he does.

He has hurt his sister Evangeline on multiple occasions. One particularly bad incident he bit her back so bad she was bruised from the middle of her back to her arm and on her arm as well. This was so disturbing I took her to the doctor to show him and discuss Topher with him. He wants to have Topher evaluated by a psychologist to determine if he has a type of autism. The doctor's take on it was that since the diagnosis and medications are all so serious he would not make the call without a second doctor agreeing with it.

A week later he hit her in the face so hard that he separated the tissue that holds your upper lip to the gums in your mouth. I felt so bad. It all happened so fast. I called the doctor and informed him. He wants to put Topher on medication. If he hurts Evie once more then he will put him on the meds. Topher has bit her twice since then, but I really want to wait and have the psychologist evaluate him. Plus, when the doctor does come and evaluate him I don't want his behavior to be altered from meds. I want her to be able to see how he truly is.

For now Topher and Evie are not to be alone for more than a few seconds. I try to have one or both even come with me to the bathroom! It is exhausting! Also the aftermath of all this is that Evie is often afraid of her brother. So he may just be near her doing nothing, but she will cry and scream that he is after her. That is the worst part. I never know when something is really wrong or she is just anticipating something happening. I don't blame her, but I am so wore out. I feel horrible about it too, but I am sick of hearing her whine. Which really breaks my heart! I feel like an awful mom, but it happens off and on all day long every day! I am at the end of my rope. The psychologist doesn't come until the 21st of this month. Trust me that day could not come any sooner.

Headaches keeping momma off the net!

I have not posted in forever... I have been having the worst time. I finally got rid of the nausea only to have it replaced with horrific headaches. Some days I can hardly function my head hurts so bad. Tylenol usually doesn't do much to help. It has taken all that I have lately to just take care of the kids and myself. The house that's another story! I have never seen our house this messy! The kitchen and bathrooms are the worst since the chemicals in the cleaners for those rooms makes me feel even worse.

My OB just said, "Sorry about those headaches, not much we can do though!" Thanks buddy. So I deal and for the past month we've been surviving of easy to cook meals or take out! The kids have taken advantage of it to the max. I have been very lax in discipline or enforcing rules and they are running wild! Smart little buggers! If they smell weakness your done for!

Hopefully these headaches won't last much longer I have been feeling better lately. As an added bonus the stress of the holidays is finally gone! Hubby might even be getting a raise and bonus at work! Keeping my fingers crossed on that one!