Sick little guy

Christopher is sick. Poor guy has had a fever for 2 days. I'm keeping it down with ibuprofen and tylenol. He's just not happy and doesn't have much of an appetite. He ate a big lunch which made me happy and has been sleeping for 2 1/2 hours. I am hoping the sleep is just what the doctor ordered! He doesn't really have any other symptoms so I don't know whats wrong.

I do know that he only wants momma! I made the mistake of going in to work for my mom today to help get their office caught up on some paper work. They are closed on the weekends.I wasn't gone an hour when daddy called and said "Topher needs you bad momma!" Apparently he had been standing at the door since he realized I left crying! Tears snot and all! As if I didn't feel bad enough leaving! I said I'd finish up and come home. I recieved another call "I don't wanna make you feel bad, but he really needs you. Nothing I've tried is working!" said daddy! "I'm going as fast as I can" I replied!

All in all I was gone an hour and probably 20 minutes. When I got to the door sure enough Topher was standing there crying. His binkie in his mouth, and softie in hand. With in seconds he was sitting on my lap quiet as can be. Then with in a few minutes he was playing as if nothing had happened, as long as I was with in sight! I know he's sick, but I think I got played a little. Otherwise I have some great healing powers. I guess as moms we should never underestimate the power of a hug and kiss!

Abuse

I love my kids so much. That is why when I hear of kids being abused I can't comprehend it. How could someone hurt a small innocent child! I just don't get it. Yeah, they make me mad some times and push your buttons definitely! But to a point that you hit them and seriously injure them, NO WAY!

I have never hit my son and my daughter got spanked twice. Once when Christopher was a baby she hit him and I panicked. I smacked her hand. I instantly felt horrible. Another time she wasn't listening and almost fell down the stairs my dad swatted her but. After these I realized that hitting didn't make sense. Neither my husband nor I plan to ever hit our children.

I watched a video on facebook called "the story" about a 2 year old girl who died when her step father hit her or kicked her in the stomach. My daughter is just over 2 and my son almost 2! How could anyone do such a horrible thing. The video made me cry and all I could do was hug and kiss my kids! As a parent I would gladly suffer any pain so that my kids wouldn't have to. Something is wrong with the world when children get treated like this. If you ever even think someone is being abused speak up!

I would be offended if child services investigated me for abuse, but I wouldn't be angry. They have an important job to do, saving kids whose parents won't save them. Which is very unfortunate. I think it is better to be safe than sorry. So don't be afraid to get involved. If you see something that doesn't sit well speak up. You may save a life!

Speech eval

Monday a group is coming out to evaluate Christopher to make sure he isn't behind on his speech. The doctor thinks he is fine, and is basically doing this to humor me. I was worried at first because I could hardly understand most of what he was saying. However, all of a sudden over the past couple days he has had a language explosion! I'm not kidding. He is saying 2 and 3 word sentences!!! He has some troubles, that are probably normal, but I'm still gonna keep the evaluation appointment. I think the problem is that I compare him with his sister, who is exceptionally vocal beyond her years! It is hard not to compare the two. She was my first and the one who taught me all I know! I think it is better to be safe than sorry. If he does have a problem maybe it can be fixed before he is in school. Kids can be so hard on other kids. If he doesn't have a problem at least we will know. As a parent you can only do your best.

binkie nightmare

I definitely need to get the binkies away from the kids. Christopher is getting to where he wants his binkie all the time. I was looking for pics of him and can't find many without the binkie! I realized that enough was enough, but how? How do you take some thing so loved from someone you love? I don't care if he has it, but I do want him to have it less (like bedtimes)!

Plus, I want to move him to a toddler bed in the future and I don't want to take some thing he needs before that move! That will be hard enough since he will go from sleeping with me and daddy to being by himself. The pediatrician doesn't think he is ready yet, and I am glad. To be honest I don't think he is ready either. I just know that hubby is getting sick of being kicked and yelled at during the night. My son isn't nice if you disturb him! Even if it was actually his fault.

Evie doe ok without it until she is reminded of it or is tired. However, with brother wanting his 24/7 she wants hers more often too! I am stuck. I feel horrible, especially when Christopher is yelling "binkie, binkie, binkie!" What can you do?

Update

A lot going on lately so I haven't been able to post, not to mention I am hooked on facebook! Therefore I spend most of my online time on facebook! I also started working. It is good for me to be away for a little bit, and good for the kids to spend more time with dad! Plus, they get to learn that other people can fill their needs not just mommy! I am only working 10 to 20 hours a week so it's not much. Just enough to give me some peace! I don't know why, but when you contribute to the household financially it just feels good! I always felt so bad not making money, but spending it! I know that is silly since I take care of the kids, but that is what our society has done to us. Which is very unfortunate. Right now I need to go to bed, but I am boiling corn because if I don't it will go bad! I can't waste that 2$. I am obsessed with saving money these days! I guess if your gonna be obsessed with anything that's probably a good thing. Believe me it won't last long, not with Christmas around the corner!

The kids are doing good. They fight like cats and dogs, then turn around and play as if nothing happened! I feel like I have 4 kids. Two that hate each other and two that love each other! The house is messier than I'd like, but daddy just had surgery and can't do to much yet! He can watch the kids though! Thank you daddy! I really needed time on my own! Even if it is working it is just what the doctor ordered! I get to talk to people, big, adult type people!!!!
Well I think the corn is done so we gotta get to bed! Goodnight

Evie's Hospital stay

Evie in the hospital bed. She called it her "Wipe bed" She says wipe instead of white no idea why! The wagon ride to the hospital room was just what she needed!

Making the most of the time in the ER, waiting for the CT results!

Evie with her breakfast she was so excited when she saw it!

Evie in Er she was getting bored and sleepy!

I posted earlier about When Evie was admitted to the hospital because a few hours after she fell and hit her head we think she had a seizure. She was admitted for observation even though her catscan was normal. She is doing fine and hasn't had any problems. I wanted to share some pics of the event with the world.

A word of advice: I grabbed a couple backpacks of toys as we walked out the door so she would have stuff to play with. Thank goodness she loves to put things in backpacks. This helped so much though! We were able to pass the time fairly easily. If you have a minute before taking your child to the ER I would urge you to try and grab a few toys. Thankfully we didn't have to wait that long either. I know usually you don't have time to think about things like that, but I also keep a back pack in the car stuffed with toys. In case we go to a friend without kids' house we are prepared. They also help if we end up at a busy restaurant or the ER!

Hair pulling gone, but hitting in!

Christopher has recently stopped pulling hair, for the most part someone still gets an occasional pull. This is how I handled any unwanted behavior, every time he would pull hair I would tell him, "No we don't pull hair it hurts!" Then I would put him in the pack in play for a minute or two. He hates to be in there, and it was the only way to give him a time out without sitting on him! Timeout is great if you can keep the kids in time out for more than a second.

He does play with my hair still, and I don't know how to stop that obsession. If he wakes up at night and I'm not there he gets pissed because playing with my hair is his soothing method! I absolutely hate it. My husband will try to comfort him, but once he reaches for the hair he realizes it's not there and he gets pissed!

However, as one unwanted behavior seemed to vanish overnight another moved in! He now hits and pushes. It is almost like he is just evil. Except when you watch him he isn't doing it out of anger (usually). For example he has a water gun and because he can't use it properly he walks around hitting people with it. In his mind he is shooting them.

Unfortunately, since Evie is an easier target she is constantly getting hit by him. Don't feel to bad for her, she is no angel! She hits and pushes him just as much. I think some of this behavior she inadvertently taught him! She has been pushing him since he could walk. So now that he is bigger he's pushing back.

He is usually just playing when he hits or pushes, but sometimes he is upset. He doesn't talk much, and I'm gonna have his hearing check just to make sure. I think that he gets frustrated at time and since he doesn't know how to deal with that he hits or pushes. He also resorts to hair pulling when he is angry.

My biggest concern is when he hits his sister she hits back, and or vice versa. I feel like I am watching a wrestling match most of the day! Well some days are like watching mortal enemies along the front lines and then other days they are the best of friends. I usually don't interfere unless someone is really hurt, or going to get hurt! I really don't know what to do about this or if their is anything I can do.

Internet access

I finally have the Internet at home! Yes, this means lots more posts and regular updates. Which I am ecstatic about because blogging is better than therapy, mostly because it's free! I settled on Verizon wireless. We have unlimited access, a home phone, plus direct tv all through Verizon for 99$ a month. Not to bad. Plus if we are on time with our bills we get a free netbook. I don't really know what that is, but I like the word free so I will find out! I am so happy to be able to use the Internet again!

Going out without the kids!

Since making the decision to be a stay at home mom I have come to identify myself as a mother. An identify that consumes every moment of my day and night. No different than that of any other parent. However, I have had so little time away from my kids that now when I am not with them I feel horrible. Even the thought of leaving the kids with anyone else gives me anxiety. I recently read an article in Parenting magazine about my (or any parents) need for time to themselves, and I realized this was so true. I decided that I would have to take or make time for myself without the kids.

I have also come to realize that since the kids rely solely on me 24/7 I have done them a disservice. They do not trust others as they do me, and they have a hard time without me. I knew I needed time alone and so did they. I figured the only way to do this was just start going places without the kids, no matter what. This was hard really hard. Over the past year and a half I had not been away from them for more than a few hours!

I really wanted to see the new Harry Potter movie so we decided that I would go to that opening night with my mother, and daddy would watch the kids. We thought since they would already be asleep things would go smoothly, which would give me more confidence to leave them in the future. I didn't want to go and debated going until the movie started. I had horrible chest pain and felt like I was gonna jump out of my skin until the movie got going! I couldn't get home fast enough after the movie, and an array of horrific things flashed through my mind as I drove home!

When I got home things weren't as bad as I feared, but not that good either. Both kids woke up and cried for me. Evie was fine once daddy told her I would be back. Christopher didn't do so good. He cried for me for a half hour and refused to go back to sleep until I got home. He woke up at 1am and his cries woke up Evie. After an hour Evie was back asleep, but he held on until 3:10 when I arrived home. I held him and within 15 minutes he was asleep. The good thing is that I know daddy can handle it!

I still have trouble and have a hard time leaving the kids. The though of it gives me the willies! I have gotten better, and since then have had to leave them with my in-laws on 2 occasions for longer than 5 hours. Due to medical procedures my husband had. They did great without me, and hardly missed me when I got home! Ouch! I think it was harder for me than them. They still have trouble without me (usually if they are tired), but we are all getting better at it. No matter where I go or what I do there is no place I'd rather be than with my babies!

Hospital Overnight

Sunday Evangeline fell off a slide at my in-laws house. She fell about 3 feet and hit the back of her head, giving her the biggest goose egg I'd ever seen. My husband immediately wanted to take her to the emergency room, but I insisted you don't go to the hospital just because they get a big bump. You first wait and see how they do. If it was bleeding uncontrollable, she was vomiting, or acting unusual then yes go straight to the ER, but she was her normal self. So we waited and watched. She was slightly clumsier than normal and had a little trouble with her speech that day. However, in a toddler it is hard to say how much of that was abnormal from the fall and how much is just her being tired or silly. Since it wasn't in excess I didn't worry.

However, after we arrived home that evening, probably six hours later, the odd behavior started. She complained of being hot in the car and insisted I get her out of the car seat immediately. I hurried up and got her out, and while we were unloading the car she cried for me to hold her. Which could have been because she was tired. Then I cradled her like a baby as we walked to the elevator in our apartment complex. As I was walking I noticed her eyes were twitching, but she wasn't blinking. She was also shacking a little. I told my husband to come look at her eyes, and I tried to get her to talk to me. She didn't have a binkie in and for some reason she refused to talk to me or she couldn't. All of this is extremely out of character for her! So we were extremely worried.

Both my husband and I decided we should go to the ER or my dad's house (he's a doctor and my mom is a nurse). Our concern was maybe that was a seizure! Just then my mom called and I told her what had happened. She immediately scolded me for not going to ER already! She to thought it may have been a seizure! So off to the ER we went.

I brought her some toys and she doesn't mind going to the doctor so she was ok with the trip, and a little excited since she had never been to the hospital. I was worried because I had heard horror stories from the ER, but they were all great! They got us back immediately and we didn't have a long wait at all. They sent us for a head CT (Catscan). The doctor asked me if she'd hold still. I thought so. They decided not to sedate her which was great. Because she was a perfect patient. She held so still. She likes when we drive through tunnels so she was excited about the tunnel she got to go into. She also likes getting her picture taken so she liked the idea of getting a picture of her "Bad Bump" that was what she called it. She was only upset she never got to see the pictures!

They said it very well could have been a seizure, but there was no way of knowing for sure.
The pediatrician on call decided that even thought the CT came back ok he wanted her to remain overnight for observation. I was horrified what about Christopher at home! Even though daddy was with him I had never been away all night before! He had a rough night, they both did, but they survived! Evie was getting tired and bored in the ER as we waited for them to get her room ready. She was crying "I want daddy!" I felt so bad.

Then they came to take her to her room. She got to ride in a wagon, which she loved! She got 2 arm bands, she thought were bracelets! They put a security device on her foot since she is so young, she also thought this was jewelery! They put a band aid like thing on her finger with a red light on it (pulse oximiter) to measure the oxygen in her blood and her pulse, I guess! She thought it was a sticker and liked that it lit up. All the armbands and finger things she had to keep! She cried when we were leaving and the nurse took them off, so they let her keep them. She was excited about her big white bed! She watched the Land before time and then cars (when she finally fell asleep around 1:30am).

She woke up promptly at 7! Shortly after that they brought in a tray with her breakfast. She asked "What's that mommy!" When I showed her she was so excited, she got her own breakfast and got to eat it in bed! We got discharged to go home a little after nine! Which was perfect because I don't think she was going to sit any longer!