My angels!

My angels!

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

expectations vs reality

I gotta be honest with you all.  I always wanted to be a mom.  Seriously for as long as I can remember.  I have always been good with kids and started babysitting when I was really young.  I thought I knew it all, or at least some!  However, being a mom is completely different from what I expected it to be.  I thought all sun shine and rainbows, but reality is snot, poop, and unknown substances smeared on the sun shine and rainbows.  Don't get me wrong I love it.  I am just shocked at how completely different it is from what I expected. 

So why is that?  Why is the reality of parenting such a shocker?  It is like some big club secret that has been locked away, and only when you have kids do you get access to the keys.  Parenting really is a club all of its own.  You can talk to any parent, even if you don't like each other, about parenting and understand each other.  You don't have to agree, but you will get that "oh man I feel ya" We know because we have lived it.  If your not a parent you think whats the big deal my nieces and nephews stay over all the time!  Trust me I thought the same thing.  See you get the part time deal that way; and it is all sun shine and rainbows.  You don't get to know the dark side of parenting. 

Yes, I said it; the dark side! You have probably noticed especially with the use of social media today most people don't talk about the dark side.  You are constantly bombarded with images worthy of pinterest and finding you fall short.  Because no one wants to pin or post about the dark side.  How can we as parents help each other if we all pretend that this elephant isn't in the room thou?  How can we help prepare future parents for the reality of parenthood? 

 Parenting is tough.  You want to raise an intelligent, kind, compassionate, human being that isn't a door mat or a bully.  You want them to be confident yet humble.  Well I can go on and on.  Then there are parenting books and philosophies up the BUTT!   Yes you will be drowning in them.  Many contradict each other, so which is correct?  You also are stuck with the way your parents raised you.  Plus, everyone and I mean everyone will have advice for how you should do literally everything!  No joke! 

So you bring home this amazing bundle of joy and are expecting sun shine and rainbows, but what are you supposed to do when reality doesn't match your expectations.  The reality of parenting can make you feel overwhelmed, scared, and alone.   Where do you turn now?  If you don't know, don't worry I didn't either.  I felt and still do at times that feeling this way isn't ok, and it some how makes me a bad mother.  This is why we need to talk more about these dark days.  We need to openly allow each other to share without judgement.  So when expectations and reality collide we know its ok!  Don't give advice here, but encouragement.  Acceptance.  Hugs.  Reassurance. 

This was the beginning of my postpartum depression journey.  When my expectations of how, who, and what parenting was supposed to be met the reality of how parenting really is. 


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

🤎

Anonymous said...

Just remember the kids and I love you