expectations vs reality

I gotta be honest with you all.  I always wanted to be a mom.  Seriously for as long as I can remember.  I have always been good with kids and started babysitting when I was really young.  I thought I knew it all, or at least some!  However, being a mom is completely different from what I expected it to be.  I thought all sun shine and rainbows, but reality is snot, poop, and unknown substances smeared on the sun shine and rainbows.  Don't get me wrong I love it.  I am just shocked at how completely different it is from what I expected. 

So why is that?  Why is the reality of parenting such a shocker?  It is like some big club secret that has been locked away, and only when you have kids do you get access to the keys.  Parenting really is a club all of its own.  You can talk to any parent, even if you don't like each other, about parenting and understand each other.  You don't have to agree, but you will get that "oh man I feel ya" We know because we have lived it.  If your not a parent you think whats the big deal my nieces and nephews stay over all the time!  Trust me I thought the same thing.  See you get the part time deal that way; and it is all sun shine and rainbows.  You don't get to know the dark side of parenting. 

Yes, I said it; the dark side! You have probably noticed especially with the use of social media today most people don't talk about the dark side.  You are constantly bombarded with images worthy of pinterest and finding you fall short.  Because no one wants to pin or post about the dark side.  How can we as parents help each other if we all pretend that this elephant isn't in the room thou?  How can we help prepare future parents for the reality of parenthood? 

 Parenting is tough.  You want to raise an intelligent, kind, compassionate, human being that isn't a door mat or a bully.  You want them to be confident yet humble.  Well I can go on and on.  Then there are parenting books and philosophies up the BUTT!   Yes you will be drowning in them.  Many contradict each other, so which is correct?  You also are stuck with the way your parents raised you.  Plus, everyone and I mean everyone will have advice for how you should do literally everything!  No joke! 

So you bring home this amazing bundle of joy and are expecting sun shine and rainbows, but what are you supposed to do when reality doesn't match your expectations.  The reality of parenting can make you feel overwhelmed, scared, and alone.   Where do you turn now?  If you don't know, don't worry I didn't either.  I felt and still do at times that feeling this way isn't ok, and it some how makes me a bad mother.  This is why we need to talk more about these dark days.  We need to openly allow each other to share without judgement.  So when expectations and reality collide we know its ok!  Don't give advice here, but encouragement.  Acceptance.  Hugs.  Reassurance. 

This was the beginning of my postpartum depression journey.  When my expectations of how, who, and what parenting was supposed to be met the reality of how parenting really is. 

Flying with kids!

As you can see I have 4 kids!  Four very active, loud, opinionated, passionate, wild, active, fun loving kids!  You can also see my main picture above is us at an airport! Yes,  I crammed my kiddos into an air plane, and No I am not crazy.  Or at least I don't think I am.  However, I did do lots and lots of prep work before the flight.  My kids had never flown before so that helped to.  I also want to make it  known that I had not flown since 2000!  Yes, it has been a while, and while some things never change some changed A LOT!  I researched all the new rules with flying.

So my first step was I found the cheapest tickets I could find!  Seriously, with 6 of us flying the cheapest way to go was the only way to go.  I found great round trip tickets from Spirit airlines.  I quickly learned that flying these days is very different.  You now pay for everything!  Carry on and checked bags, extra fee.  You all want to sit together, then you need to pick your seats, extra fee!  Even with this these still were the cheapest seats! 

But what about the kids.  I did not want my kids to be the screaming, yelling, crying, kids that we see videos of on Facebook where rude strangers posted complaining about them.   So I planned ahead.  I went to 5 below.  Each kid got a brand new back pack.  Some small games Hungry hippos, clue, connect four, and uno.  They each received a pack of gum, fidget spinner, and fidget stick.  I bought them each a pencil case, markers, crayons, colored pencils, and a notebook (these I bought when school supplies were on sale)!   I went to the dollar store and bought them each a couple small things squishy light up animals small fidgets.  I made sure their ipads were charged and packed those as well. Each got new headphones.  All these things I wrapped up as presents and gave them the day before the trip!  They were so excited.  Also, they did not need any of their electronics on the flight, other than taking some pics with them!

My 5 and 7 yr old each brought a stuffed animal and special blanket. I packed an extra outfit for everyone in the bags as well, even myself in my own bag and my husband.  You can never be to prepared! 

Airline food is super expensive!  Find out the rules on snacks and drinks and bring SNACKS! Do not forget yourself also!  You will get hungry too!

We arrived early enough to get through security.  Make sure you wear shoes that are easy on and easy off!   The kids did not have to remove theirs.  So I am not sure what age that starts.  Also dress comfortable.  I let my 7 yr old wear her pajamas. 

We had a great experience, and would definitely fly again! 

Ironically my kids did not disturb any one.  However my 10 year old was terrorized by the small children that sat behind us!   He said he would only fly again if no kids were by him!  They did get pretty bored.