Lazy mom

Some days nothing gets done.  At the end of the day I sit and think, trying to figure out where the day went.  I usually have no idea.  It has ended, and nothing was accomplished.   I am greatful we are all alive and well, but I cant help feeling lazy.  When I tell my friends they always blame it on the kids.  I have my kids every day. They're  mine! So why are some days non productive and others not....I must be lazy, sometimes.  Or at least it feels that way to me.  Granted chasing a 6,5,3, and 1 year old around can be exhausting and frustrating.   However, I'm not buying into that as an excuse.  I do realize that getting things done is not as important as stopping to be silly and having fun with my monsters every now and then.  Hopefully, more often than then! So for now  Lord, give me the wisdom to know when to play, the courage to not stress out, and the strength to just let go!  Amen.

Hello world

Taking a little time out of the insanity to say hello.  I have been so busy this year.  You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I will.  I spent over half the year going to my mom's everyday.  Taking all 4 of my kids there all day everyday.   So I was taking care of them, and my mom who has lou gehrigs disease, and my brothers and sisters.  I've been homeschooling my 16 yr old sister, poorly but she's a demon.   No seriously she is.  I was doing better.  However after 2 weeks of excruciating migraines and a possible miscarriage I had to cut back.  That's why she is poorly homeschooled.  I can't do the work for her, and I've got no power over her to make her.  So I advise and that's it.  She's not doing well but I did my best.  I still help take care of my mom.  I also took over her job in the family business.  So now I am office manager for my dad's office.   I work anywhere from 20 to 40 hours a week.  And still do every thing else.  The only difference is now I have a Lil money so ever so often I pay someone to help clean.   Some days for no reason at all I feel so exhausted.   Unfortunately for now that's my life. It could be worse could be better.  I am trying my hardest not to take my children and hubby for granted. I'm trying not to miss any of the little things. I'm trying to hold it together.  Trying to be a good mom and role model.  Some days i do better than others.   Often the stress makes me yell. I don't wanna yell. Trying to get to a place where i can be proud of myself i stead of feeling like a failure.  Which I s hard to do when you set impossible goals.