Pregnant again, again, again!

According to my calculations I am 5 weeks and due on July 9th.  Since my doctor doesn't do VBACs (vaginal births after a csection) this birth will also be a c-section.  Usually, scheduled two weeks early so we are looking around June 18th? I'm not sure about that date didnt look at next years calendar and my math is horrible. He usually does them on a friday!  So as long as things go ok.  We know what to expect as far as that.  My last pregnancy I had gestational diabetes and that was not fun! Hope it doesnt happen again. 

I also feel it's a little to early to celebrate, but if your pregnant you're pregnant thats not gonna change.  At least not for another 8 months!  I am not looking foreward to being pregnant or having a c-section again.  Each time it gets a little harder than before! I am guessing thats from the scar tissue.  I am loking foreward to having a baby!  Kids are amazing and I couldn't imagine a life without them. 

That being said.  I am not looking foreward to all the changes that are gonna have to be made.  We need a new car!  We all won't fit in ours!  Which really sucks cause we just bought it!  Well 7 months ago but still that's new.  We are already planning on moving next year, but moving when your pregnant is not fun!  You can't do anything, and while people understand that it still sucks! 

My kids are so excited.  Evie and Topher are already talking about names for their baby brother!  I really hope its a boy! Thats's another thing.  Nameing a kid is difficult!  All of my kids have special names with special meanings the more you have the harder that is to do! Oh, and by coincidence all 3 of their names are greek in origin!  So gotta keep that trend going! 

Here we go again!

I am pregnant again.  I took a test last night and it was positive.  I'm gonna take a blood test tomorrow to confirm.  Or really just make it official.  The kids are so excited.  Topher told my sister first when she got here this am.  Then he and Evie sat down and discussed what the baby's name is gonna be.  They are sure its a boy!  I just think it is so funny because as you may have read a couple weeks ago all a sudden out of the blue my 4year old daughter started talking about a baby brother!  I told you she's spoiled and usually gets what she wants. I'm starting to wonder if she's psychic too! Maybe she can hook me up with some lottery numbers! My husband is supper excited I can tell, but I am freaking out.  This changes everything. Were gonna need help!  I'm so scared, nervous, and everything else you can possibly feel!

Plus, my boobs hurt something awful! 

smack me!

My daughters teacher had a baby around the same time I had Ally (a little over 10 months ago), but she is pregnant again.  There is nothing wrong with that at all.  In fact I find myself every time I see her or think of her wishing I were pregnant too!  I must be going crazy!

Maybe it is because Evie and Topher are so close and that is such a special bond that in a way I wish Ally could have that to.  I don't know.  

Headaches keeping momma off the net!

I have not posted in forever... I have been having the worst time. I finally got rid of the nausea only to have it replaced with horrific headaches. Some days I can hardly function my head hurts so bad. Tylenol usually doesn't do much to help. It has taken all that I have lately to just take care of the kids and myself. The house that's another story! I have never seen our house this messy! The kitchen and bathrooms are the worst since the chemicals in the cleaners for those rooms makes me feel even worse.

My OB just said, "Sorry about those headaches, not much we can do though!" Thanks buddy. So I deal and for the past month we've been surviving of easy to cook meals or take out! The kids have taken advantage of it to the max. I have been very lax in discipline or enforcing rules and they are running wild! Smart little buggers! If they smell weakness your done for!

Hopefully these headaches won't last much longer I have been feeling better lately. As an added bonus the stress of the holidays is finally gone! Hubby might even be getting a raise and bonus at work! Keeping my fingers crossed on that one!

The kids and the idea of a new baby

Evie knows that mommy is going to have a baby, and is excited about it. I think. Christopher has no idea what we are talking about, and I don't think he cares either. He just glances at me or my belly and then continues whatever he is doing.

Evie on the other hand copies everything I do. So of coarse there is a baby in her belly to. The other day I ran to the bathroom and said "I am going to vomit!" Later she ran to the kitchen, because she thought that was where I went. She also said, "I am going to vomit!" She does know what vomit is. I told her no mommy vomits in the toilet not the trash can, and then I flush it away. So she went into the bathroom, and made vomit noises then flushed the toilet. When she came out she said "I vomited!" I just said "OH!" Not wanting to give it to much attention. I don't want to discourage or encourage the behavior.

She also told my husband the other day during her bath that she wants a sister, and we should name her princess Leia! I thought this was funny since she has only heard that name a couple of times. Then today she told me she had a sister in her tummy! I again just said, "Oh."

miserable momma

This week has been hell. I started feeling a little nauseous Monday, and it slowly got worse as the week progressed. Today I woke up at 6:00 am just so I could run to the bathroom and vomit! That was great. Then I felt horrible all day long. I am so tired. I am not getting any thing done. Our house looks horrible. I haven't had dishes piled up like this in years. My poor husband and kids have to deal with cranky impatient sick mommy all day. It is awful. I cried today and told my husband I can't do this. His smart ass asked if I wanted an abortion. I replied no I just wanted someone else to be miserable for 9 months not me! Like him! I seriously don't know how I am going to get through this. I know things are going to get worse before they get better. I think it's a girl, because my daughter made me this sick, but my son didn't.

I feel nauseous no matter what I do. I get super thirsty then feel sick for drinking to much water. I feel like I am on fire, or freezing cold. I feel tired, and just yucky. I have no energy. My breasts ache like hell. Plus, I must be sleeping differently because my neck aches. I toss and turn all night, and feel like I haven't slept at all. I wake up throughout the night with my stomach burning.

When its not the pregnancy keeping me up the kids are taking turns waking me up through the night. Evie is potty trained (mostly) she wakes up once or twice a night and goes potty. Of coarse she wakes me up to! Christopher wakes up, and drinks from his bottle or plays with my hair. Then I wake up if hubby is tossing and turning or just getting up. I am suck a light sleeper I think I need my own room, one that is freezing cold because I get hot the most at night!

I know I will get through this I have no choice. I just have to take one day at a time, and just ignore the dirty dishes. I'll get to them when I get to them. I also am buying more quick and easy foods, because I can't guarantee I will be up to cooking when it's time to cook!

Fast day

Today went by to fast. I think. We had so much going on today that it wore us all out, and we didn't even finish everything. I think my problem is that I want to do too many things in a day. It is just not possible to be two places at once, but I haven't mastered time management enough yet. Which I really need to with another baby on the way. I am working on being able to make a daily schedule, like in school! So when the bell rings I know what comes next no matter what. I'd love to be that organized.

Evie had preschool today, but at first she didn't want to go. I know it was because she was tired this morning. She didn't go to sleep until around 11 last night. I caught her crawling out of the bedroom! I guess she thought if she crawled I wouldn't see her. It wasn't a baby type crawl either, but more like a commando low crawl (she meant business)! She didn't escape though.

Christopher has behavioral therapy this morning to. So I had to hurry and get the house clean, or clean enough for other people to come in! It went well. He was being silly. This was the first time I have ever seen him act shy. He hid behind our couch! Then he refused to talk to her for most of the time. Oh, well! This was the first visit, and it was more of an interview anyways to see what he needs.

My sister came by to. Which was nice because I got to visit with my nephew, he's 6 months and really starting to develop his own personality. He gets freaked out by Christopher, who is very loud at times. We spent most of the day visiting. I had wanted to take the kids to see Toy Story, but Christopher took a late nap. Which means he slept to late for us to go. That just meant we got to visit more, and save money!

I am completely exhausted so I didn't get much done today. I'm tired because I didn't get any sleep last night. That's my own fault. I stayed up to late online! Sometimes that is the only way I get time to myself. It's a trade off. I'm hoping to go to bed soon! Keep your fingers crossed!

Other than that I just get sore aches every now and then. Some abdominal cramping, and occasional breast tenderness. I am going to have my doctor send me for an ultrasound though. Because whenever I sneeze or cough I get a sharp stabbing pain in my left pelvic region.

I'm Pregnant!

Yep, It's official I am certainly definitely pregnant! I had my doctor order a blood test today! So there is no doubt! I have mixed feelings! Of coarse I am happy and excited, but I am also worried. Babies cost A LOT! Plus, they need lots of attention, and I already have 2 who need lots of attention. I don't want to short change anyone! I really worry about that. I don't know if that makes sense or not, but I can't think how to put that into words, without sounding harsh. I don't mean it negatively, but it is a huge concern for me. I know the kids probably won't care, but they won't ever know anything else either.

I have been really tired lately for about 3 weeks (I think). I have also been cranky (moody), and impatient or less patient than normal (which is probably more than the average Joe!). You don't survive Irish Twins without having a lot of patience already! I have been eating more too! Which I don't need to do. I am already overweight! The worst thing is I crave Pepsi, so bad! Some days all I think until I drink a pop is PEPSI!

I also have been having cramps the past 3 or 4 days. At times I feel like I am being pulled apart. I just don't feel good, and I don't know how much of this is normal. I imagine it is totally normal. Since I've already had 2 C sections over the last 2 1/2 years! I also get a sharp pain when I cough or sneeze. Which in the past when that happened I was told it was a cyst rupturing, but I wasn't pregnant then! I will probably ask the doctor to send me for an ultrasound on Monday to make sure that everything is ok in there! I'm sure it is, but it would be nice to know for sure.

I'm freaking out here!

I have been really tired lately, which I just chalked up to the kids not sleeping through the night. Despite the fact that they rarely sleep through the night and I should be used to it. Then something my mom said the other day got me thinking. Out of the blue she was drilling me "Are you pregnant? Are you sure? You're sure your not pregnant?" What the heck she's nuts I thought.

Then today as I was going to the bathroom I thought what the heck I'll take a pregnancy test. I had 3 of them, one left over from a few months ago. My husband insisted I was pregnant so we bought tests, and I was right no baby! We still had a test. It was a double pack name brand "Answer," since I had that I decided to take it. It was positive! I peed on it longer than 5 seconds because I didn't read the instructions!

So I freaked. I had 2 tests I bought at a dollar store and decided to take those as well. They were both negative! So I'm not sure what to think or do! I don't want to tell anyone if I'm not pregnant, but I want to know. Maybe the first test was better than the dollar store ones?????

I have no idea what to do, but I am majorly freaking out!!!! I don't even want to tell hubby yet. I think he wants another one right now and would be bummed if I wasn't pregnant. I will be happy and sad. I know another one would be more sharing of me for the kids and I don't think that is fair for them since they are so young! I wanted to wait until they are a little older and more independent. I don't want to have to rush them!

Could I be pregnant?

I don't really know what to think about all this. I don't really know what to do about it either. Well here it is. This is my problem. My son is five months old now. I have been taking birth control pills for almost 3 months. Usually you start them after your period. I was breast feeding and didn't have a period so I just started taking them after I took a pregnancy test to make sure I wasn't pregnant again. Once I started taking them I started my first period in about two years. Then I started the second pack and a few days later started my second period. I didn't keep track of the exact days or even how long they lasted. I couldn't even remember if I tried. I know that cause I have been racking my brains trying to recall every detail. That is just not going to happen. Any ways. I am almost finished with the second pack and no period!!! I also am tired and moody. News flash I am a mom to two tiny tots. I am going to be tired and moody! Right? Well, after careful review I have realized that last month I missed a few days I think three, and this month I forgot one night. I didn't even know that I forgot. So I took a home pregnancy test a couple days ago and it was negative. They don't have false negatives do they. I did have a dream where I told someone it was time to have another baby. I thought it was funny at first, but now I am not so sure. I have never been on birth control pills, but I always thought they caused your cycle to come like clock work. I haven't told anyone or asked anyone about it. I really don't want to jinx myself, but I am getting more and more nervous every day!! I never had a regular cycle before kids, but I also never took birth control pills. I am taking something called a mini pill. Oh, and guess what? Due to the holiday my OBGYN is closed until the 7th. How's that for service. Wish I could take a long vacation!

The Good News!

I want to take a stroll down memory lane today and talk about the day I found out I was pregnant for the first time. As you may already know my husband and I have been married for 10 years this year. We dated for about a year prior to that. The entire time we were together we didn't use any birth control methods. After a while we started wondering why we didn't have any kids. I discovered that I had endometriosis and my husband had a varicocile that was repaired. According to my doctor there was no reason why we couldn't have kids. So we began to do all the things that couples do when they are trying. This included taking my temperature daily at the same time, and documenting everything from my cycle to when we had intercourse. We were told to had sex every other day. Then to make matters worse everyone and their brother had suggestions on what to do, what not to do, and how to do it. Intimacy became more like a job we had to do. However, like most marriages we got busy with other things and decided to leave the baby stuff up to God.

We had finally given up all hope and decided to look into adoption. Fortunately for us adoption is very expensive. I even thought about going to Mexico, apparently you can buy kids there. It sounds bad, but the parents want a good home for their kids and in most cases have to many already. I didn't know how legal this was and decided not to take any chances. So we went to the Family Services office. In order to adopt you have to first take classes. They try to get you to be a foster parent. I guess that when it comes to adopting a baby the foster parents are always given the opportunity first. Which is only fair the baby has been living with them and knows them. At this point I didn't care if it was a baby or not I just wanted to be a mommy. We thought foster parenting would be the way to go. Maybe this is what God intended for us. So I called Family Services and told them they said they would mail us a class schedule. I watched the mail eagerly it never came.

Then I had been feeling really tired for a couple weeks, but attributed it to the weather. Suddenly I felt horribly ill. I felt like I was suffering from the worst hang over known to man, but I hadn't had any alcoholic beverages in forever. I remembered hearing about all those deadly viruses like the West Nile Virus. I was sure that was what I had. My husband, Dennis, had some buddies over playing poker. Which I was not to thrilled about after all I was deathly sick. I asked one of his friends if his girlfriend was coming over. He said, "Yes."

I told him to call her for me. I informed her of how sick I was, and requested that she stop and buy me a home pregnancy test. If it was negative I was heading to the emergency room because it was only a matter of time before I would die. Thankfully she didn't mind helping me out. I took the test carefully. I honestly did not think it would be positive, but who ever wants to go to the emergency room? Plus, this was not the first time I had taken a test and I had failed miserably every other time. The results appeared instantly and were very dark. No mistake about it I was pregnant. I couldn't believe it I checked the paper a million times to make sure I read it right. I asked my friend to come in and verify the results. Calmly with a quiver in my voice I said, "Michelle, what does this mean?"

She said, "You're pregnant congratulations!" And gave me a hug.

I told Dennis to come inside and I felt my entire body shaking as I told him. He looked like a deer in headlights. I think I was dumbfounded. Then without a word he walked out side. A couple minutes later he came back in and he hugged me so tight I couldn't breath, and I had to actually tap out. He was so excited he started yelling at all his friends telling them the news. He called his parents and said, "Hi, Grandpa!" to his dad. Who did not get it. He thought we were referring to our two dogs at the time. Then he thought for sure we were kidding. My parents didn't get to excited yet. They were concerned the test might have been in error. So the next morning I took another one, positive again. To ensure it was no fluke since both tests came from the same package I went to the hospital for a blood test. It was official I was going to have a baby. I was so excited, and so so so sick. Its hard to be ecstatic when your that miserable the room wouldn't stop spinning, and it didn't for what seemed to me like an eternity.