Insomnia

I can't sleep and it is killing me. I am tired, but then my head hits the pillow and I can't sleep. All day my head has been empty, but when I lay down thoughts start swimming around my in my head. What to do, what not to do, grocery lists, budgets, birthdays, the past year, the next year, and anything else that climbs in there. I spent most of the day in a tired fog, and now my head is working overtime.

I took a nap with the kids. Which now I am thinking "big mistake". I was tired until I went to lay down! I hope this helps, because it's late and I NEED sleep!

I know some of my problem is stress. I am stressed over money, marriage, life, parenting, and anything else that list doesn't cover. Actually, my marriage is doing surprisingly well. Considering that we hardly get any time to ourselves, sex is a foreign word no longer in our vocabulary. I mean we share our bed with a toddler. The most exciting thing going on in there is dodging kicks throughout the night! But we love each other and I can't imagine ever loving anyone else, or ever being without him. He's my knight in shining armor.

I am stressed over money. Especially since I don't work. I feel like I need to find ways to stretch our money as far as possible. I also feel guilty for wanting things, they cost money! I feel guilty for not working, and that my husband has to work. I don't like that he feels he has to carry the financial burden alone. I wish I could find good work at home! I don't have money to start an at home business, especially one that may not succeed!

I am stressed over the kids. They still take bottles and binkies. I don't know how to not. I give them sippies throughout the day. My son doesn't even hold his bottle most times. I know I have over parented. I can't help it. It's my job, and I am good at it. Too good in areas, and not so good in others. Neither of my kids sleep all night without a bottle or two, or three. I lay down each night with my kids until they fall asleep. I don't know how to get them to sleep any other way! We all sleep in one room. I don't know if they need their own room or not, but I am so afraid of something happening to them. Plus, for them to have their own rooms we would have to move. Something not undo-able (I don't know if that is a word!). I just don't know what to do about these things.

To move or not to move?

We live in a two bedroom apartment, but it is the size of a 3 bedroom. Which means that our master bedroom is HUGE! I have a king bed, two end tables, twin bed, toddler bed, crib, dresser, computer desk, vanity, two bookcases, and a jewelry chest in our room, and we still have tons of floor space.

The problem is that both our kids sleep in our room. My son falls asleep in my bed or my arms, and then is placed in his crib. He wakes up at least twice a night. The worst night he was up 6 times. I think if he had his own room he might sleep through the night. I think that some of the times he just gets woken up by noises we make. Daddy snores, mommy coughing, and sister crying or laughing.

My daughter sleeps in our bed still. I can't try to get her to sleep in her own bed because if she screams and cries (which she will) she will wake up her brother. Then I will be dealing with two extremely unhappy children at one time. If you have more than one child then you feel my pain. One cries so the other can't sleep then they both start to cry followed by you crying as well (if you can't beat 'em, join 'em).

I think that if we had a 3 bedroom I might be able to get the kids to sleep in their own beds and sleep through the night. I am not sure if this plan would work, but it sure does sound good!

We looked at renting some houses, buying right now is not an option. To big, to small, to expensive is all we found so far. The problem is I love where we live. We park indoors so during inclement weather I don't have to take the kids out to go somewhere. I love our neighbors (on our floor). So I want to stay there, but I want 3 bedrooms.

A 3 bedroom opened up on our floor. Which I felt was a sign from God. My husband won't even look at it. It costs more, has less square footage, and has only 1 bathroom. We currently have 2. Another apartment opened up on the 2nd floor, and is exactly like ours. The only difference is that it has 3 bedrooms. Basically our big bedroom only with a wall in the middle.

We told our landlord that we would take it, but now my husband says "No". He says it is stupid to move into the exact same size apartment, but pay more money (70$ more)! I agree, but desperately want the 3rd bedroom! I understand his concerns about money especially with the economy the way it is. Plus, with me not working I feel that when it comes to money I don't have much of a say! We already turned off the cable to save money for a while. I know if I made a fuss he would move for me, but what if he is right and it's a bad decision.

I guess my biggest problem is that I don't know how to get my kids to sleep when I want them to sleep. I am trying for a bed time before 9pm, but most nights I am left at the mercy of my children and when they decide to fall asleep. I don't know what to do! I can't just throw them in bed and let them cry, and I won't

I give up! Update: My daughter won't sleep in her own bed.

I know I only worked at it for a little over a week, but this is killing me. I keep trying to get my daughter to sleep in her own bed, but she doesn't want to. The pediatrician said to keep at it and eventually she will get it. I don't know what she's supposed to get. So far all she has developed is a fear of walking by her bedroom when its close to bed time.

Tonight she was tired and ready for bed, but we had company over so she stayed up and played longer than she should have. After they left she grabbed her Binky, bottle, and blanket then started following me around. I had to go to the bathroom first. As she followed me we walked past her bedroom and she stopped and looked frightened at her room then at me. When she realized I wasn't going in her room she was fine. This hurt me so much. I felt so bad. I couldn't believe the look on her face. She remembered being put in there and was obviously seriously upset by it.

I posted a week update last Wednesday. Thursday night I put her in her bed again, but Friday and Saturday nights we were out of town visiting my In-Laws so our schedule got messed up. Sunday night I didn't put her in her crib for long I felt like I was starting all over and didn't really want to. So basically I gave up. She will be sleeping in our bed for now. The bad part of this is I have a six year old brother who still sleeps in my parents room almost every night. My husband seems to think at some point she will just want to sleep in her own bed. Yeah, when she's 13. The only good news is for now it saves us some money. We are now using her crib for Christopher who has needed to move from the bassinet to a crib for a long time now. I was procrastinating the move because our bassinet is a bed side one and due to Christopher's health problems I didn't want him very far from me.

The end result of all this will probably be me sharing my bed with Evie and Christopher while daddy gets the couch. So much for any romance. I don't even know what that means any more! I guess the best birth control is kids!