Don't feed the monkeys!

There is a reason signs like this are posted in zoos and parks. Certain behavior should not be encouraged. Regardless of how cute or fun the behavior seems at that point in time. I wish people would not feed my monsters. Or in other words I do not want them to encourage certain behaviors that turns my angels into monsters.

For example, if one of my children smack you, headbutt you, pull your hair, scratch you, bite you, and the list could go on... don't laugh or do anything to encourage the behavior. I can not stop these undesirable habits if I am the only one telling the kids no. It is not cute. It is not funny. Maybe a head but from a one year old might seem funny to an adult. It probably doesn't hurt much. However, imagine how that same head butt feels to a two year old.

Every time you allow a child to act this way you are saying, "it is ok to do this!" They look to us for guidance on what is acceptable behavior in society. They do not understand, "It is ok to be rough with daddy, grandpa, uncle, or whoever, but not sister!"

So what do you do? That is the easy and hard part. Talk to them. Tell them, "Ouch, that is called (whatever they have done), and that hurts!" If they continue to do it, put them down. I tell my kids I will not play with you if you are going to do that (whatever it is). I am not saying they are perfect, but they know mommy means business!

Give them a little time out. I have been using time outs for my kids starting at 9 months.
Evie gets about a minute in time out, and Christopher gets about 30 seconds. It is usually much less. The point is to make them take a second and understand this behavior will not be accepted. It is not fun for you or the kids. Nobody likes to be the meanie, but allowing this behavior turns your angel into the meanie! You know who he is, the kid that nobody plays with because he isn't nice!

The hard part is you have to be consistent and you can't laugh at them! Ah, there's the rub! Don't even smile at them. Ignore the cuteness, and bite your lip or turn your head. They will devour you if they sense weakness! I am not kidding. My kids already know us well enough to know if we think they are funny. If they get that impression all is lost! Who doesn't want to make mommy or daddy smile!

Uh Oh!

Tonight we had dinner on the living room floor, our indoor picnic. I had taken some things into the kitchen to clean up, but I forgot my drink. My daughter thought the large over sized glass glass looked too good to resist. So of coarse she helped herself to it. It was to heavy so she dropped it and pop went everywhere. She knew she was not supposed to have my glass, and thought that she would be in trouble. She ran to the couch covered her face and began to pout. It was to cute I couldn't punish her. Our punishments consist of taking time outs in the time out chair, one minute for every year. For an 18 month old one minute of sitting still borders along the lines of torture. I reminded her not to drink mommy's drink with out asking, and cleaned up the mess. After all this accident was mostly my fault, leaving out one of the biggest temptations to her.

As I scrubbed the floor I couldn't help but think, "Please let me finish cleaning up one mess before you make another"!

Discipline and punishment! Any Help!!!!!

I don't want to use spanking at all. But I honestly don't know how to discipline or punish my children at 6 months and 16 months. Are they too young?

Not that spanking really works or anything, but it is all I know. That's how I grew up. Until I went to college and took some psychology classes I had fully intended on spanking my children as well. Only now that I believe I shouldn't do it I don't really know what to do. Any ideas?

I know time outs but I can't put my kids in time out. I'd have to sit on my one year old for her to stay for even half a minute. I do constantly say no and distract them or remove them from whatever it is. However, I am often busy with one child and need them to stop at a firm "NO" especially when it is something potentially dangerous. Am I just dreaming or is that even possible.

Copy Cat Queen!

My daughter just adores her 6 year old uncle, my youngest brother. She copies everything he does!!! Some times it is cute but the ramifications often have devastating results. She hits and throws things after being around him. She goes from a perfect angel to a perfect demolition artist. He gets her so fired up that we often start referring to her as Evie the Destroyer!

I don't know what to do about this. It's not fair to keep them apart, after all they are family. However, she has a six month old brother. I am hoping he survives. She has smacked him a few times. Lucky for me, or him, that he is very tough. He usually flinches then looks at her like she's crazy. I am not so forgiving. I don't want to hit her back, which I did swat her hand once and instantly regretted it. I just don't know what to do. Usually the more I tell her no the more she does it. I try to show her how to touch and tell her how to. Sometimes it works others well her brother isn't so lucky those times. He doesn't seem to get hurt at all by it, but that doesn't mean I should let it go either.

I don't want to use spanking at all. But I honestly don't know how to discipline or punish a 1 year old! Not that spanking really works or anything, but it is all I know. That's how I grew up. Until I went to college and took some psychology classes I had fully intended on spanking my children as well. Only now that I believe I shouldn't do it I don't really know what to do. Any ideas.

I am also worried about what she is teaching her brother. I hope the effects of this on him are not bad. Hopefully he forgets about it and it doesn't damage him psychologically. Who really knows what it will do?

I tell my brother to stop and constantly remind him that he is teaching her bad things. Some times he stops, but most times he thinks it is funny. I can't convey the serious of it to him he's to young. My husband doesn't want them playing together. He is the only one she does this with. I am serious you wouldn't even think she is only 16 months watching her run around and copy every thing my brother does. It is funny to watch, but that's it.

One time in church my mom was busy so my brother slid on his knees across the floor. Next thing I know my toddler is crawling on the floor and sprawling out on her back in the middle of the floor just laughing as hard as she can. I was slightly embarrassed, but she's only one so most people just smile. I can just imagine the thoughts swimming through their heads.