Confessions of a sick mommy!

So to say I am having a rough day is kind of an understatement!  I woke up all throughout the night either freezing or feeling so hot that, I swear my blankets were burning my skin.  Not to mention the horrific cough that hurts my abbs so bad that it could be considered exercise!  No kidding! My body feels like I was hit by a truck or maybe a bus.  I can't breath or smell, thank goodness for the smell part!  I'm sure the sweating last night doesn't make for a spring fresh smell in the morning.

I got up and did the best I could to get the kids to school.  Thank goodness they were all angels this morning!  I know that in itself is a miracle.  I should have known nothing good was going to follow.  I called off work!  I don't want to share my germs, and I am positive they don't want them either.  I cancelled my dentist appointment.  I prepared to rest.

I set up my 4 year old and went to lay down.  HA HA HA!  Surprise, crazy drama going on and your working from home today!  I should explain, I often work from home.  That was quick and easy!  I am very blessed with that luxury.  So I spend my morning miserable working from home, taking care of my 4 year old, and puppy.  Nothing abnormal there except did I fail to mention I feel like death!

Finally, I can relax.  It is 1:00 pm!  The day is over half done.  Relax!  What the heck is that?  The world had other plans and I might as well give in.  So I decide forget it.  I'm up and I need shower BAD!

So I tell my 4 year old I am stinky and going to take a shower, and he must be good.  He thinks he needs a bath because he is stinky too.  Never mind he already had a bath today!  Oh, NO!   FYI, a 4 year old cannot take a bath while mommy showers and no one else is home!  I am sure you didn't need me to explain that but I'm a talker.   So after a lengthy argument with my 4 year old.  And, Yes, I am the parent.  And for those of you who just thought that, you don't have kids do you?  Or its been a long time since yours was 4!

So yes after a lengthy argument with my 4 year old.  I said this "If you don't sit down and watch Paw Patrol while I shower I will spank your butt!"  Now for those of you grabbing the phone to report this abuse, hold on.  I would never never never spank my child for not watching TV!  That is insane!  But he doesn't know that does he???   In fact there are very few occasions I would spank my child for.

Was it right?  Was it wrong?  Doesn't matter!  Bottom line mommy needed a shower! For a number of reasons. One, I am pretty sure I was very very stinky and two I was hoping and praying it would help me feel better.

So I took my shower and YAY! He stayed on the couch watching tv. Or at least I think he did.  He was there when I went into the shower and there when I got out!  LOL

So all in all a success! 

Yes, I am alive!

I haven't posted in so long.  I feel like a long lost relative in for an awkward visit.  I don't know where to begin.  Life is crazy.  Oh, so crazy!  My mom was diagnosed with ALS in 2012.  Life has kinda spiraled out of control then taken on some crazy kind of normalcy.  It's has been an emotional journey to say the least.  I home schooled the kids last year.  That was fun.  We bought our first ever home.  That was stressful!  The kids are in a great school.  My mom is not doing well, but she is hanging in there.  I have learned to take it slow.  Or at least I know I should and I am trying to do that.  It is hard with 4 kids!  Nothing is slow in a home with 4 kids.  Thaddeus is 3.  Ally 5, Christopher 8 and Evie 9!  Evie had Lyme disease last year!  That was rough.  We hope no lasting effects remain.  That's for another post I guess.  LONG story!  Christopher is still having troubles.  Another LONG story!  Ally has her own problems too! LOL  The only one without a long story is my youngest.  And he's just such a lil sweet heart that in itself is another long story!   We are definitely full of drama in this house!  But the point is I am still here.  Taking one day at a time.  Trying my best at this parenting thing.  Some days I feel like a horrific failure and other days I think "Wow I'm rocking at this"  Well there aren't a lot of those kinda days.  But many days that I'm ok with! I have learned one major lesson in all this.  I am the luckiest lady on the planet!  I am truly blessed.  My kids are a major pain some days but everyday they are amazing!  They show me so much and teach me more than I ever thought possible.  And yeah I make tons of mistakes, but that is ok too!  My husband is irritating sometimes, but other times he is of the charts awesome!  I thank God for him!  My mom is sick but she is still here and it has brought our close family together even more.  My brothers and sisters are frustrating to say the least, but they are also the best a girl could ask for.  I love my life and am so grateful for everything God has provided.  So Yes, I am alive and kicking!  

Lazy mom

Some days nothing gets done.  At the end of the day I sit and think, trying to figure out where the day went.  I usually have no idea.  It has ended, and nothing was accomplished.   I am greatful we are all alive and well, but I cant help feeling lazy.  When I tell my friends they always blame it on the kids.  I have my kids every day. They're  mine! So why are some days non productive and others not....I must be lazy, sometimes.  Or at least it feels that way to me.  Granted chasing a 6,5,3, and 1 year old around can be exhausting and frustrating.   However, I'm not buying into that as an excuse.  I do realize that getting things done is not as important as stopping to be silly and having fun with my monsters every now and then.  Hopefully, more often than then! So for now  Lord, give me the wisdom to know when to play, the courage to not stress out, and the strength to just let go!  Amen.

Hello world

Taking a little time out of the insanity to say hello.  I have been so busy this year.  You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I will.  I spent over half the year going to my mom's everyday.  Taking all 4 of my kids there all day everyday.   So I was taking care of them, and my mom who has lou gehrigs disease, and my brothers and sisters.  I've been homeschooling my 16 yr old sister, poorly but she's a demon.   No seriously she is.  I was doing better.  However after 2 weeks of excruciating migraines and a possible miscarriage I had to cut back.  That's why she is poorly homeschooled.  I can't do the work for her, and I've got no power over her to make her.  So I advise and that's it.  She's not doing well but I did my best.  I still help take care of my mom.  I also took over her job in the family business.  So now I am office manager for my dad's office.   I work anywhere from 20 to 40 hours a week.  And still do every thing else.  The only difference is now I have a Lil money so ever so often I pay someone to help clean.   Some days for no reason at all I feel so exhausted.   Unfortunately for now that's my life. It could be worse could be better.  I am trying my hardest not to take my children and hubby for granted. I'm trying not to miss any of the little things. I'm trying to hold it together.  Trying to be a good mom and role model.  Some days i do better than others.   Often the stress makes me yell. I don't wanna yell. Trying to get to a place where i can be proud of myself i stead of feeling like a failure.  Which I s hard to do when you set impossible goals.