Lazy mom

Some days nothing gets done.  At the end of the day I sit and think, trying to figure out where the day went.  I usually have no idea.  It has ended, and nothing was accomplished.   I am greatful we are all alive and well, but I cant help feeling lazy.  When I tell my friends they always blame it on the kids.  I have my kids every day. They're  mine! So why are some days non productive and others not....I must be lazy, sometimes.  Or at least it feels that way to me.  Granted chasing a 6,5,3, and 1 year old around can be exhausting and frustrating.   However, I'm not buying into that as an excuse.  I do realize that getting things done is not as important as stopping to be silly and having fun with my monsters every now and then.  Hopefully, more often than then! So for now  Lord, give me the wisdom to know when to play, the courage to not stress out, and the strength to just let go!  Amen.

Hello world

Taking a little time out of the insanity to say hello.  I have been so busy this year.  You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you, but I will.  I spent over half the year going to my mom's everyday.  Taking all 4 of my kids there all day everyday.   So I was taking care of them, and my mom who has lou gehrigs disease, and my brothers and sisters.  I've been homeschooling my 16 yr old sister, poorly but she's a demon.   No seriously she is.  I was doing better.  However after 2 weeks of excruciating migraines and a possible miscarriage I had to cut back.  That's why she is poorly homeschooled.  I can't do the work for her, and I've got no power over her to make her.  So I advise and that's it.  She's not doing well but I did my best.  I still help take care of my mom.  I also took over her job in the family business.  So now I am office manager for my dad's office.   I work anywhere from 20 to 40 hours a week.  And still do every thing else.  The only difference is now I have a Lil money so ever so often I pay someone to help clean.   Some days for no reason at all I feel so exhausted.   Unfortunately for now that's my life. It could be worse could be better.  I am trying my hardest not to take my children and hubby for granted. I'm trying not to miss any of the little things. I'm trying to hold it together.  Trying to be a good mom and role model.  Some days i do better than others.   Often the stress makes me yell. I don't wanna yell. Trying to get to a place where i can be proud of myself i stead of feeling like a failure.  Which I s hard to do when you set impossible goals.

Working Update

Ok, I've been working for a while now 3 days one week and one day the next.  Some times are harder than others.  The worst part is the kids behavior has gotten worse. I'm not sure if the change is from my working or just the change in weather.  We aren't outside as much as before.  In fact we are home a lot more now, or at least the kids are.  They are home with me when daddy works and home with daddy when mommy works!  Ally is more attached to me.  When I get home I hear "MAMA" or "MOMMMY" and she runs to me.  Then I have to hold her for a while.  She is also more clingy than before. She was more of daddy's girl but now that she misses me when I'm gone she's a mama's girl.  Topher is just wild.  He is worse than before and so mean to me sometimes.  I'm not sure what to do.  Evie is ok, but I can tell sometimes she feels left out.  We are getting our nails done this weekend her reward for doing good in school all month!  Topher didn't do so good, otherwise we'd all be going for ice cream.  The worst part is I love working!  I love being at home with my kids too, and I desperately miss my hubby!  We see each other a little bit during the week otherwise we are together every other Wednesday, every other Saturday and Sunday! Plus, they make destroy the house when I'm gone. I don't mind cleaning it, but some times I feel like I'm going crazy "didn't I just clean this up 5 minutes ago!" I don't know how moms work full time and keep the house clean (oh wait their kids must be at day care during the day!) I can't complain soon they will all be in school and I will miss these days!

Working Mama!

It's official I am no longer a stay at home mom.  Yep, I'm a working mom.  I worked one day...so far...LMAO  I do plan on working more. I will probably.... most likely... work 3 days this week.  Well I'm only scheduled for one, so we shall see.  Oh, and I'm working for my parents!  WOO HOO...so grown up...Oh well its the only job that will allow me to work on the days my hubby is off! SAVING a fortune in daycare! I don't know how others do it daycare is ridiculous!  I know the saying usually goes you get what you pay for, and when it comes to your kids you probably don't want to go the "oh they were the cheapest one" route!  But still....Anyways my first day was kinda crazy I worked there years ago, but A LOT has changed.  So for the first time ever I was constantly like how do you do this.  It was really nice to be around ADULTS all day thou!  The best part was thou that even without me home the house didn't burn down, and everyone is still alive! AMAZING!  Just kidding I knew my hubby could do it! I was just amazed the house wasn't even that dirty when I got home!  First time ever I was away from the kids for 10 hours!