I scared!

Last night my daughter fell asleep a little early (compared to other nights), but I wasn't tired so I was in the other room. Twice I heard her talking and I went in to the bedroom. She was sitting up and talking, but I couldn't understand what she was saying. I laid her back down and cuddled with her until she fell asleep. The next time I went in she told me, "I scared", and then asked "Where Santa?" She told me Santa was there, but now he wasn't. I couldn't understand all of what she way saying, and was trying to keep her quiet and asleep since her baby brother was also asleep.

It was to late she was awake. So we went in to the living room. She told everyone she was scared and again began talking about Santa. There is a blow up Santa on the porch so we asked her if she wanted to see it. Definitely not. She shook her head violently no. This was odd since she normally loved seeing Santa.

Later when I tried to get her to sleep she was afraid of the shadows on the wall. They are cast by the night light. She said that it was a "Ra". Which is the sound she makes for lions, skeletons, monsters, and anything that is scary. She has never really showed any fear of these things before. Daddy showed her it was not a "Ra" it was shadows, but I don't think she believed him. She pointed at the ceiling and opposite wall a few times and said something in audible (her binkie was in her mouth). She stared for a while as if she was watching something, and then finally she went to sleep.

Around 8 am she cried in her sleep and said, "Let go Daddy" repeatedly. I tried to hold her and comfort her it made her worse. So I laid down next to her and said, "Daddy let go! It's ok. Mommy is here!" After I said that a few times she was fine and back to sleep.

All this happened at NaNa and PaPa's house. We have had similar instances at our house, but she never seemed scared before. She points to area in our bedroom all the time and says there is a baby there. Sometimes she says the baby is crying sometimes she says she wants to play with it. Most times she only says baby and points. Another area on the ceiling she has said there is a "RA" and other things that I couldn't understand. Some nights she stares at this spot like she's looking at something. (It really freaks me out). Especially, since any time I ever sat with my back to this spot I always felt like someone was behind me. Creepy!

When she was a tiny baby she would always hold our hands over her forehead and eyes with her hands. She still does this at times today. When she is staring at the wall I cover her eyes with my hand and it usually works. Allowing her to fall asleep in a few minutes.

Bad Dreams, Psychic Visions, or Paranoia

Have you ever had a horrible vision either while asleep or awake of something terrible happening to your children? For example your in a deep sleep and wake up all of a sudden at 3 am not because someone woke you up, but because you had a nightmare of your children being kidnapped. So you run into their rooms and make sure they are there, but seeing your precious little ones in bed isn't enough you must feel their chests to ensure they are also breathing. Or they are playing in their rooms so quietly you could hear a pin drop. All of a sudden your mind wonders and you have a vision of your child lying on the floor unconscious. You rush to their room to check on them only to find them sitting quietly reading (or pretending to read) a book. They might even be playing right in front of you when the possibility of a freak accident crosses your mind, and all you can do is hug and kiss your little one and thank God they are OK.

Maybe your driving your car or outside playing and you envision a horrific car accident in which you or your children are killed. At least that's the vision that haunts me. If we are driving I have a repeating vision of a car accident in which I am killed. Sometimes the children are killed as well, and sometimes only one of them is. If we are outside walking or playing (it could be anywhere) I have another horrible repeating vision of my oldest running out into the street only to be sent flying into the air by a passing car. Sometimes she doesn't even have to be in the street the car flies into the yard and hits her in my vision.

I know that everyone has these types of visions. Maybe it is a protection mechanism to make us aware of possible dangers so we avoid them. I don't know why we have them, but my concern is not having them. My concern is having the same one or type of one over and over. I really do not believe that I am psychic. However, the thought of losing one or both of my kids, or not being a part of their future scares me to death. I couldn't handle it. You hear stories all the time of the many horrible things that happen to children, and I don't know how their families move on. Maybe they don't.

So the question is am I overly paranoid, and being driven crazy by visions of the possibility of my worst fears coming true. Or is some type of psychic vision preparing me in advance for catastrophe. All I can do is thank God every day and night for their safety, and pray that it lasts forever.