Are you ready for some football!

I don't know what to title this one! Maybe Help Please I'm Crazy!

I'm just having one of those days. The past few weeks have been rough. I'm tired all the time, and I have no idea why. I'm getting the same (if not more) sleep, but I am suddenly finding myself super tired. I went to the doctor and had blood work done. My vitamin d was low and I had a liver marker (idk what that means, but they said to watch it). Otherwise everything else they checked was OK.

I'm irritable and less patient than normal. At first I thought I might be pregnant again, despite birth control pills (which I take religiously LOL). Now I have no idea. I feel horrible for loosing my patience with my kids. I feel even worse for being crazy towards my hubby. Oh, yeah forgot to mention that part. I am delusional. I constantly think he is either cheating on me or just no longer in love with me. To the point that I ask almost weekly if he wants me to leave, and daily if he is sure he loves me. I'm sure he isn't cheating on me, but that doesn't mean he won't (there I go again). If he isn't with me acting like this he is bound to! So why am I pushing him away!

I need a straight jacket and a weekend in the loony bin! I constantly forget things. Or just don't do them because I'm tired. I set myself up to fail by trying to do to many things in the day! I know it's not possible, but I am still upset with myself for not completing them.

This week I have no idea where the days are even going. I wake up next thing I know its night time, and I didn't get anything done! I have no idea what I do all day! It's all a giant blurr! If it weren't for me writing everything on the calendar I'd have no idea what we did or even what day it is!

I'm so out of control of everything including myself right now and it is totally freaking me out. Worst of all I have no one to talk to about it. Therefore I have no way of figuring this out! Other than buckling down and waiting for the storm to pass, whenever that might be!

Oh, I am completely open to any advise! Cause I got nothing here!

Breast milk is Breast milk

My daughter is feed breast milk... through a bottle. I don't know why that's such a big deal, but I always feel the need to explain myself to people. They look at me like I am crazy. The way I see it at least she is getting breast milk! Because of her medical conditions (laryngomalacia and Acid Reflux) I want to do all I can to protect her from illness. But I can't keep her in a bubble! She has 2 older siblings, a 2 year old and 3 year old! Neither of which could tell you what a germ is, and proper hygiene to them is a joke! I can't control everything, but I can control what my baby eats and what I eat! So to give her the best start I pump and she eats! I didn't and don't have time to nurse, and my 2 ego centric children didn't understand why baby was getting all mama's attention! So please give me a high five for my efforts not a puzzled look! I deserve that much at least!

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